Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 5582

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Re: OTC Sleepies oona

Posted by BarbaraCat on April 17, 2002, at 10:38:21

In reply to Re: OTC Sleepies, posted by oona on April 17, 2002, at 7:11:38

Another one I forgot to mention is Calms Forte made by Hyland Formulations which you can get at a health food store. It works very well, is gentle, no hangover, and feels like it has a cumulative restoring effect. I forgot about it until now and am going to go out and get some today. It has homeopathics as well as herbs that lull you into a natural relaxed state instead of knocking your lights out.

Regarding the allergy stuff, I finally got a prescription for Flonase nasal spray from my doctor which works wonders. I've developed allergies to cats over the years (a disaster since they are our babies and no less than 4 of our 8 sleep with us). It had contributed to my sleep apnea over the years (waking up constantly from not breathing). I've resisted a cortisone-based spray sort of thing for years but it has worked wonders. I also sing and can now actually sustain an open throated sound instead of a croak.

> I would rather not take anything to sleep if possible. I have been taking the benedryl as Tylenol PM or plain benedryl for 7 years. Did try melatonin for awhile but it did not work very well for me. I know there is a mixture of herbs with valerian and skullcap that I have not taken yet. The valerian caps are nasty, smell like old sneakers.
>
> I slept ok last night, woke up three or four times times with allergy and post nasal drip - guess the benadryl would be good with that also...
> oona

 

Coming off zoloft

Posted by cvb on July 18, 2002, at 14:41:57

In reply to Coming off zoloft-going onto WB BarbaraCat, posted by oona on April 12, 2002, at 22:56:53

Wow, I've been feeling a bit dizzy lately and it just occured to me that it might be because I stopped taking zoloft about four weeks ago, after having been on anywhere from 50-150 mg a day for at least six years. I guess I'm glad I didn't stumble on this list sooner or I may have frightened myself into not stopping. I did have some pretty severe headaches the first week off, but never made the connection ... and this occasional dizziness is a bit worrisome, but it sounds as if overall I've had a much easier time of it than most. I thought I'd stop because I had a month off of work and I didn't want to think about it (and I wanted to enjoy laying in the sun without the usual extra crispy results of having zoloft in the blood stream). Now I'm getting ready to go back to work, but I'm wondering if I should just forget about the zoloft since I seem to be fine and hopefully the withdrawal symptoms are dwindling away. I suppose I should talk to my doctor about it, but I prefer the self-medication supervision method.

 

Re: Coming off zoloft cvb

Posted by BarbaraCat on July 18, 2002, at 23:42:27

In reply to Coming off zoloft, posted by cvb on July 18, 2002, at 14:41:57

Did you just stop cold turkey? That's pretty rough on the system. You may be fortunate and suffer nothing more than dizziness and some rebound anger/anxiety, but if you suddenly feel like a homicidal maniac, remember, it's just zoloft withdrawal. Dizziness is real common, as is a 'swoopy' feeling, like an elevator going sideways. Little electric shock feelings are also typical. It takes a few months before they subside. In the meantime, alot of folks take benzos to cope with the anxiety until things feel better. I don't want to put any scary thoughts in your head but please put notes up all around your house "It's Only the Zoloft!" Otherwise you'll probably forget. I punched a hole through the wall rather than my husband one crazy post Zoloft day. Broke a large limb off a tree another day. Whew! and I'm a very peace loving gal. Take care, kiddo, and keep in touch. Oh, and you might want to rethink going back to work without letting your doctor know. No, really.

> Wow, I've been feeling a bit dizzy lately and it just occured to me that it might be because I stopped taking zoloft about four weeks ago, after having been on anywhere from 50-150 mg a day for at least six years. I guess I'm glad I didn't stumble on this list sooner or I may have frightened myself into not stopping. I did have some pretty severe headaches the first week off, but never made the connection ... and this occasional dizziness is a bit worrisome, but it sounds as if overall I've had a much easier time of it than most. I thought I'd stop because I had a month off of work and I didn't want to think about it (and I wanted to enjoy laying in the sun without the usual extra crispy results of having zoloft in the blood stream). Now I'm getting ready to go back to work, but I'm wondering if I should just forget about the zoloft since I seem to be fine and hopefully the withdrawal symptoms are dwindling away. I suppose I should talk to my doctor about it, but I prefer the self-medication supervision method.

 

Re: Coming off zoloft

Posted by cvb on July 19, 2002, at 0:52:02

In reply to Re: Coming off zoloft cvb, posted by BarbaraCat on July 18, 2002, at 23:42:27

Hmm, I haven't really felt at all anxious, or experienced the electric shock sensation a lot of people refer to. The "swoopy" feeling is definitely where I'm at though, perfect description! Has anyone else gone for a significant period of time (4 weeks) without really having many symptoms of withdrawal and then started experiencing them later? I was feeling perhaps this is as bad as it's going to get and maybe I'm just really lucky considering I was unaware that I was being a little kooky in doing the cold turkey thing. My PCP has never been overly-interested in my meds, I did tell my counselor that I was thinking of going off them though. Of course, I haven't seen her since I stopped -- she's been on vacation too! Perhaps I will start feeling anxious when I start my new job next week, I haven't really had anything tangible to be anxious over since I stopped taking the zoloft, and the intangibles haven't snuck up on me yet! Thanks for your feedback though, I'll try to keep my wits about me!

 

Re: Coming off zoloft cvb

Posted by BarbaraCat on July 19, 2002, at 1:24:25

In reply to Re: Coming off zoloft, posted by cvb on July 19, 2002, at 0:52:02

I'm glad you responded. I was starting to feel bad about being a scare monger. I'm pretty delicately wired so my experience is probably not the norm. Hopefully you'll sail through it with only some strange physical sensations. When my husband came off Zoloft (he tapered off over 2 months) he rather liked the swoopies, reminded him of his reckless youth.

One suggestion that you may want to relate to your doc is this - zoloft has a short half life, about a day, whereas Prozac has a very long half life, about 2 weeks. Some doctors will prescribe a short course of Prozac, one every week, then 1 every two weeks, then 1 every 3 weeks, etc. This can smooth out the transition if it starts getting bumpy, without loading up your system with alot of chemicals. Four weeks is a long enough time to be experiencing the effects of coming off, but is by no means long enough to have it over with. Be especially good to yourself and get a ton of exercise and sleep, drink lots of water, take good vitamins/minerals, especially magnesium, and stay away from alcohol if possible. Be a squeaky clean machine. This may be all you need to have an easy time, and hey, what a great excuse to get disgustingly healthy. Cheers! - Barbara

> Hmm, I haven't really felt at all anxious, or experienced the electric shock sensation a lot of people refer to. The "swoopy" feeling is definitely where I'm at though, perfect description! Has anyone else gone for a significant period of time (4 weeks) without really having many symptoms of withdrawal and then started experiencing them later? I was feeling perhaps this is as bad as it's going to get and maybe I'm just really lucky considering I was unaware that I was being a little kooky in doing the cold turkey thing. My PCP has never been overly-interested in my meds, I did tell my counselor that I was thinking of going off them though. Of course, I haven't seen her since I stopped -- she's been on vacation too! Perhaps I will start feeling anxious when I start my new job next week, I haven't really had anything tangible to be anxious over since I stopped taking the zoloft, and the intangibles haven't snuck up on me yet! Thanks for your feedback though, I'll try to keep my wits about me!

 

Re: Coming off zoloft cvb

Posted by Rach on July 19, 2002, at 13:17:30

In reply to Coming off zoloft, posted by cvb on July 18, 2002, at 14:41:57

> I did have some pretty severe headaches the first week off, but never made the connection ... Now I'm getting ready to go back to work, but I'm wondering if I should just forget about the zoloft since I seem to be fine and hopefully the withdrawal symptoms are dwindling away.

Hi cvb,
As a fellow zoloft user who has been in your position, please please please do not remain off the meds until you discuss it with your doc. I did a very similar thing and had a similar experience. I went cold turkey, had the swoops and headaches and took about a month to make the connection as to why. Then I thought that because I was feeling fine, great even, I would be able to cope without my meds.

As zoloft can take up to four weeks to even start working, in my brain's logic (who knows if its the truth) I think it would take just as long for the effects to wear off. And after that, I found it a very slow and sneaky gradual down hill slide until I was in the biggest depressed hole I had ever been in. All the work from previous was undone, and I had to start all over again dragging my arse up out of that black chasm.

So please just be very careful. You're feeling on top of the world right now, but it may not last, especially if you change something major that you are doing, like returning to work or quitting meds.

All the best,
Rachael

 

Re: Coming off zoloft

Posted by cvb on July 19, 2002, at 20:26:53

In reply to Re: Coming off zoloft cvb, posted by BarbaraCat on July 19, 2002, at 1:24:25

Thanks Barbara and Rachael, for your words of experience. After another pretty "swoopy" day, I did call my counselor and make an appointment for next week, and told her about the cold turkey med thing. I'll also have health insurance again starting Monday, so I can make an appointment with my PCP as well and discuss this with her. I just feel glad to know WHY I've been so dizzy, now I can be much more vigilant about what's going on with my body. I don't suppose I'd last long in a new job if these dizzy days keep up, so I'll have to make some decisions about what's next for me. Thanks again for giving me some good tips based on your experiences.

 

Re: Coming off zoloft Rach

Posted by BarbaraCat on July 19, 2002, at 21:36:55

In reply to Re: Coming off zoloft cvb, posted by Rach on July 19, 2002, at 13:17:30

Hi Rach,
I've been there, oh, I've been there as well. It is a sneaky progression downhill. By the time you've really hit the skids it's almost long enough that you've forgotten about stopping the meds. Life just sucks and it doesn't even matter that it's due to severe neuotransmitter brain hell. It's bad enough being depressed enough to take ADs in the first place. Being depressed with even less receptors and little serotonin floating around is ghastly.

I've been taking zoloft, prozac, celexa, paxil, with zoloft being the longest at around 8 years. I've weaned off them probably 6 times over my 20 year history with ADs. Even going very slowly it's still extremely rough. I've heard that the lag time both before and after have to do with the growth or 'death' of the serotonin receptors. The growing back is a long term process, some even theorize they never completely do and one ends up dependent upon these meds. Who knows what's really going on? I do know that I've never been able to stay off them for longer than 6 months and probably will never know whether that's because I'm 'hooked' or because I really need them.

Well, we'll see. I'm currently in the ramp down stage with Remeron, intending to be fully off my 75mg in about 6 months. Already after 2 weeks at a smidgen lower I'm feeling it. And dang, I've also given up drinking which is seeming like a masochistic idea about now.

 

Re: Coming off zoloft BarbaraCat

Posted by Rach on July 19, 2002, at 22:44:37

In reply to Re: Coming off zoloft Rach, posted by BarbaraCat on July 19, 2002, at 21:36:55

Gosh, be very careful. Keep your wits about you, maybe keep a diary of how you are feeling so that you can recognise easily if you've gone too far; put your body through too much. As we've both expressed, the last thing you want is to end up in a crumpled heap again.

Best of luck, you know we're here if you need to scream.
Rachael

 

Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft

Posted by bigbluez on January 9, 2003, at 13:12:16

In reply to Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft, posted by F Cardin on August 26, 2000, at 23:02:18

My doctor prescribed zoloft saying, "I WOULD FEEL BETTER". Well, he didn't tell me about the withdrawl side effects I would experience.I thought I was dying. I was constantly dizzy, had extreme nausea, and wanted to sleep through it all. Which was impossible since I had to care for my baby boy. I was put on zoloft because after I had my son, my hormones went crazy. Yes, the zoloft did help me through that rough time, but for God's sake doctors need to tell their patients about EVERY POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECT!!!!!

 

Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft

Posted by McPac on January 11, 2003, at 23:35:30

In reply to Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft oona, posted by BarbaraCat on March 27, 2002, at 23:18:25

Barb, I have always loved reading your posts. So much that you say is so perfectly stated. Also, many of your symptoms and even just the general comments that you make sound SOOO much like me. Just read where you mentioned your interest in nutrition and I'd love to e-mail you some time about nutritional approaches, as I am very much interested in that area too. I may have some info. that you would be interested in (I just got a new e-mail address and the switch WIPED OUT an awesome collection of archived articles, clinical trials, etc., that I had accumulated. MAJOR bummer! But I've still got some good info. nonetheless). You can e-mail me, I'm at: Imupacrk@msn.com. I don't post here too much; there's so many posts here that it's hard to find posts from days ago and too hard to converse...easier through e-mail. See ya!

 

Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft McPac

Posted by BarbaraCat on January 14, 2003, at 0:34:39

In reply to Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft, posted by McPac on January 11, 2003, at 23:35:30

Hi Mike,
Good to hear from you again. I'll get back to you soon with my email account. I need to set up another internet one and with my recent low thyroid issues I'm feeling a bit energy challenged these days. If you don't hear from me in a few more days, give me another buzz, OK? - Barbara

 

Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft BarbaraCat

Posted by proud mary on January 14, 2003, at 21:43:14

In reply to Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft McPac, posted by BarbaraCat on January 14, 2003, at 0:34:39

Hi,
I am now coming off zoloft after building up to 200 mg. after about 5 years. My doc has put me on Lexapro and is easing me off of the zoloft at the same time. I have always noticed that when I didn't have the zoloft (in the days I was navigating the public heatlh system) I would become VERY spacy and, well, it's hard to describe...it's like my brain skips a beat and the less zoloft I have, the more beats it skips, almost to the point of not being able to function. I remember the odd article I'd read about SSRIs damaging the brain and got scared. I would mention this to doctors and they would be puzzled because they said after about five days, the drug should be out of my system completely. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
Starting the Lexipro seems to be helping the spaciness quite a bit. So far, it (Lexipro) just is making me feel letargic, tired. I know I must have patience because I have only been on it about five days now (20 mg a day) and since I have been down these roads before, I feel like I need to just wait it out.
It's difficult on the hubby and kids in the meantime, though. Would anyone like to converse with me further about this?
My e-mail address is mmheid511@aol.com
thanks and any advice would be super....M.

 

Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft proud mary

Posted by BarbaraCat on January 15, 2003, at 14:52:42

In reply to Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft BarbaraCat, posted by proud mary on January 14, 2003, at 21:43:14

I don't know where these pdocs get their information but it's not from personal experience. It took me about 1 month before I was acclimated to a new SSRI and had the occasional 'swoopies' when I turned my head and an electric shock feeling for the next 3 to 4 months. This is more common than not and I swear nobody out there in the psych field seems to be listening.

The fact that you're on two different SSRI's at once generally potentiates the action of each. Lexapro and Zoloft, while they're both SSRIs, target different sertonin receptors, as well as norepinephrine receptors. It will take much more than a week to recover from these side effects. Delicate chemistry and electricity are being affected and no one knows for sure how these things work. Trust your symptoms and not ANYONE elses theoretical assumptions.

A suggestion would be to add on a small dose of Prozac during the time you're tapering off Zoloft. Prozac has a much longer half life and can smooth out the withdrawal. You might also need a mood stabiler. Klonopin, although a benzo, is also a mood stabilizer and would help with any anxiety or aggresion (I became a harpie during this time) you and your family are probably feeling about now. Also, a good quality fish oil helps to stabilize neuro cell membranes. Definitely take a high quality vitamin with 100mg B complex and high magnesium and calcium. They won't cure your symptoms but what you're going through certainly eats up these nutrients and adds to the distress.

Your readings about ADs permanently damaging our neural structure raises alot of questions and concerns for many of us. I'm off SSRI's completely now (quit in November) and on Lamictal for my symptoms which are probably Bipolar II rather than major depression. I feel that it will take at least 1-2 years before my neurons will stabilize. That's not to say that my problems will be solved, but SSRIs were an insult to my neurochemistry and that has to be healed.

BTW, why are you switching SSRI's? Zoloft is probably as good if not better than most. What is your pdoc's rationale? Are you not getting better on SSRI's in general? If you continue to not get better on SSRI type meds, consider the possibility that you need another kind of med to address a misdiagnosed condition. Good luck. Barbara

> Hi,
> I am now coming off zoloft after building up to 200 mg. after about 5 years. My doc has put me on Lexapro and is easing me off of the zoloft at the same time. I have always noticed that when I didn't have the zoloft (in the days I was navigating the public heatlh system) I would become VERY spacy and, well, it's hard to describe...it's like my brain skips a beat and the less zoloft I have, the more beats it skips, almost to the point of not being able to function. I remember the odd article I'd read about SSRIs damaging the brain and got scared. I would mention this to doctors and they would be puzzled because they said after about five days, the drug should be out of my system completely. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
> Starting the Lexipro seems to be helping the spaciness quite a bit. So far, it (Lexipro) just is making me feel letargic, tired. I know I must have patience because I have only been on it about five days now (20 mg a day) and since I have been down these roads before, I feel like I need to just wait it out.
> It's difficult on the hubby and kids in the meantime, though. Would anyone like to converse with me further about this?
> My e-mail address is mmheid511@aol.com
> thanks and any advice would be super....M.

 

Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft

Posted by coral on January 15, 2003, at 15:11:25

In reply to Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft proud mary, posted by BarbaraCat on January 15, 2003, at 14:52:42

Zoloft was the only med that helped my severe depression (tried a thousand or so others first --- not that I'd exaggerate). However, starting on Zoloft, increasing the dosages (eventually to 200 mg), and coming off Zoloft all caused the "electrical zappings". At first, it felt like my head was wrapped in crinkly saran wrap (I almost felt I could 'hear' the zaps)...then, it became the sensation of the electrical zaps. What worked for me was ice . . . specifically resting for a little while with an icepack on my head (sometimes, several ice packs surrounding my head --- HAD to have looked very weird but it worked.)

Once my brain/body adjusted to the new levels (up, down, and none), the zaps went away.

As annoying as the zaps were, I'd go through them again (and I did during a brief relapse) because the Zoloft was literally a life-saver for me.

Good luck!

 

Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft BarbaraCat

Posted by proud mary on January 15, 2003, at 15:38:34

In reply to Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft proud mary, posted by BarbaraCat on January 15, 2003, at 14:52:42

Barbara,
Thank you so much for the response! I forgot to say that he changed my SSRI because the zoloft slowly but surely ceased to work for me. It happened so gradually that I didn't really realize what was going on until I would read back on some journal entries and realize I was writing and thinking things that had gotten me to go get help in the first place. My husband finally got so worried he went to my Pdoc himself with a note I had written and made them see me THAT WEEK, which I know many of you guys know is almost impossible. So, he seemed very keene on the Lexipro. I also take klonopin and it seems to take some of the spacy, cranky edge I got going right now. It's such a relief to have those thoughts and feelings just float away. I wondered about him just changing the SSRI but as you said, it seems to target different sertonin receptors, as well as norepinephrine receptors (you actually helped me understand that) and although I suspect they really don't understand it themselves, those docs see it work and so keep on keeping on....
I figure I will probably be on some sort of antidepressant for the rest of my life. The swoopy feeling will go away, though, right? I've had it for a week before when I was still navigating the public health system (which SUCKS for mental health services) and it was so severe, I could hardly function. The docs didn't understand, again saying there shouldn't be anything going on because the drug was out of my system by one week (something I realize is completely bogus since I started reading this message board.) I feel so much better being able to communicate with others who are going through the same thing (or who have gone through it). I'll stop...I can go on...
Thanks again..Mary

 

Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft proud mary

Posted by BarbaraCat on January 16, 2003, at 14:43:03

In reply to Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft BarbaraCat, posted by proud mary on January 15, 2003, at 15:38:34

Hi Mary,
The electrical zaps are very, very common when you're reducing an SSRI. They'll definitely stop after a while, but you may get the occasional one even 6 months afterwards. My husband actually enjoyed them when he stopped Zoloft, said it was almost like 'being on a mild acid trip', so adopting humorous mind set is important, knowing that it's all just temporary.

Coral's suggestion of ice packs is very interesting and you might give it a try. My suspicion is that there's not only a chemical, but an electrical disruption that's occurring, and probably an inflammation (cytokine) response as well, so ice packs make sense.

One of the problems with SSRI's is the 'poop out' syndrome. It seems like most of them will work and then slowly peter out. Alot of pdocs augment them with other things, like lithium, which worked great for me when every other AD eventually pooped out. Then it turned out that I really needed the lithium the most because my symptoms were more bipolar depression rather than straight depression. Unfortunately, I also have low thyroid and lithium is very, very bad for it and so had to stop taking it. I'm now on Lamictal, but really miss the lithium and nothing else seems to do the trick. I'm pretty much squeaking by with a terrifying day every now and then, but am learning other non-med ways of dealing with my psychic distress. I just lost my Mom very suddenly and tragically last month and yet am coping with it remarkably well, so I have hope that we all can transform this crap if we can somehow discover the key. Please keep in touch and let me know how things are progressing. - Barbara

 

Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft

Posted by oona on January 19, 2003, at 21:52:53

In reply to Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft proud mary, posted by BarbaraCat on January 16, 2003, at 14:43:03

Hi Barbara Cat,
I have not been here in awhile and was notified about the coming off Zoloft messages as that was a problem of mine way back when. I have been fairly stable on the Celexa and Risperdal for about seven months now so have not been back to the board for awhile. May have to look at my combo again as having some depression sneak in. I think I will try to DEAL with the depression for awhile instead of changing meds right away. May just have to up the Celexa a bit. The Rispedal causes a lot of weight gain that I almost wish I was back on the Zoloft even though it made me flat.
Sorry about your mom Barbara.
peace,
Oona

 

Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft oona

Posted by BarbaraCat on January 20, 2003, at 2:20:33

In reply to Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft, posted by oona on January 19, 2003, at 21:52:53

Good to hear from you, Oona. Thanks for the kind words about my Mom. Sorry the Beast is creeping back on you again. Me too. I'm pretty fed up with the Medical establishment right now. Having major thyroid failure, nothing seems to stick in my med regimen and I'm paying money I can't afford for mis-managed health care. I'd take Zoloft flat line-ing any day to this agony, but it would just poop out anyway. I think we have to look elsewhere besides medication for our answers but for the life of me, I don't know where. Decades of therapy, God doesn't seem to give a rip and I fear He/She/It is as screwed up as the rest of us.

> Hi Barbara Cat,
> I have not been here in awhile and was notified about the coming off Zoloft messages as that was a problem of mine way back when. I have been fairly stable on the Celexa and Risperdal for about seven months now so have not been back to the board for awhile. May have to look at my combo again as having some depression sneak in. I think I will try to DEAL with the depression for awhile instead of changing meds right away. May just have to up the Celexa a bit. The Rispedal causes a lot of weight gain that I almost wish I was back on the Zoloft even though it made me flat.
> Sorry about your mom Barbara.
> peace,
> Oona
>

 

Barbara BarbaraCat

Posted by proud mary on January 20, 2003, at 16:08:35

In reply to Re: Barbara Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft McPac, posted by BarbaraCat on January 14, 2003, at 0:34:39

Thank you for the advice and for "being there." I feel better now about the change in meds, but I still am not feeling that much better. I mean, I am not nose-diving or anything, but I feel kind of nuetral about everything. Not a whole lot of ambition for the stuff I usually like to do.

I do start out ok in the morning and then it deteriorates as the afternoon wears on, which is particularly bad for the kids, because as everyone with kids knows, the hours between about 4 and 7 p.m. are the WORST.
Anyone with any ideas are welcome to offer their suggestions. I've been taking the Lexapro for about 9 days and Im trying to have patience. Does anyone know how long it might take to really kick in and make a difference for me?
or in general? is this as good as it's going to get? or will it take the requisite 4-6 weeks to really get me going?

thanks!
Mary

 

Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft BarbaraCat

Posted by oona on January 21, 2003, at 22:03:04

In reply to Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft oona, posted by BarbaraCat on January 20, 2003, at 2:20:33

Hi Barbara and this for Mary too..
Sometimes we have to get by one day at a time, one hour at a time or even 1 minute at a time...I don't want to try another med right now and have to go thru all the side effects again. I would love to just stop taking all of the meds and try the holistic way but have to stay on an even keel to get to work every day and hell would probably break loose without close watch. But wouldnt it be neat to have enough money to go away to one of those fancy spas and just sweat it all out and have someone take care of you for a long while and maybe even an Indian Shaman to give you magic herbs that would cure you and chase away the evil spirits.
Well, back to reality. I guess the one day at a time will have to suffice until something better comes along.
peace,
paula

 

If only it were just withdrawal oona

Posted by BarbaraCat on January 22, 2003, at 13:40:06

In reply to Re: withdrawal symptoms coming off zoloft BarbaraCat, posted by oona on January 21, 2003, at 22:03:04

Dear Oona,
Your lovely message was very needed right at this moment. Thanks for the encouragement to move through it one moment at a time. Yes, I would so welcome being able to just rest, be taken care of, have my tense and hurting body lovingly pampered, soothed and attended to, a wise teacher present to offer words of wisdom and experience, loving friends nearby, clean lace-edged sheets and fluffy comforters and a big oak bed with carvings of leafs and flowers to rest upon. With the knowledge that there is enough money to take care of things while I heal, that my cats and husband are looked after and doing well, that a wonderful fulfilling job is waiting for me when I emerge from this tranquil place of restoring, that my home will be kept up and clean when I return to it, bills and taxes paid with food in the fridge. Yes, this image sustains me.

Last night I had yet another frightening shock that I had been anticipating. As you probably know, my Mother died suddenly last month after being hit by a car while out walking. Too much to do across country to get all worked out and the house ready for showing in 9 days left me already in grief and depletion. I had been having terrible premonitions all this past weekend that something was wrong, pacing, distracted, something terribly wrong. Dreams of fire, explosion, bombings. I have many prescient feelings that I've learned to trust because 90% of the time when this strong, they are right. But I've been through so much lately that I don't know what is personal trauma, world terror, paranoia, or true premonition anymore. I'm in a state of shock and not tracking very well. Add to this my failing thyroid and our very serious financial situation and the fact that my husband's father was recently diagnosed with cancerous lymphoma and his Mom with alzheimers. He's got his own traumas, is emotionally paralyzed and can't manage to even look for work much less handle my traumas.

It turns out that during an open house over the weekend, someone had turned on all the knobs on the gas range and gas was literally pouring throughout the house all weekend. All it would have taken for a massive explosion was a single spark, a lit match. Thank the good God that someone smelled it on the street and had a neighbor break in, call the file deparment, full catastrophe garmented workers with gas masks entered and turned everything off. This could pose problems because it's very cold back there and some hot water heater gas is necessary to prevent pipes from bursting, although now at least the gas range and oven is decommissioned. There is some saturation and we don't know how much damage, being 3,500 miles away. So much can happen while the house is empty and we are so far away that all I can do is envision light around it and pray for it's protection.

I've been feeling that there is some evil energy at work, that some strange darkness is vying for my life force, as well as so many other's. This has gone beyond the fears engendered by depression. Tangible disastrous events are a reality in my life and not the product of a broken brain. There has simply been too much and I'm at a loss as to how to cope.

I now realize that I must come to a place of surrender in all things and learn to trust. That is my supreme life lesson, and it is HARD. We have no jobs, at the end of our savings and retirement, my thyroid is failing, the shock of my Mom's death, losing my childhood home and never being able to return to the place of my roots, isolated here in a small town where we have no close friends, and the quiet land sanctuary surrounding our home posed for destruction and development which could begin at any moment. But although I don't know as yet how to trust and surrender to this frightening picture, I at least know that I WANT to release my death grip of fearing yet more loss. That will have to be a start, I don't know how else to proceed. Like you, I have no hope in any new medication. The only medication that offers relief is one that would render me unconscious for a few months, and I can't afford that right now, too much to do even though running on empty. This has to be dealt with in a different way, but the path is obscured. I think about Frodo setting out on his journey, "I will take the Ring, although I do not know the way." Love and blessings and comfort to you as well. - Barbara

> Hi Barbara and this for Mary too..
> Sometimes we have to get by one day at a time, one hour at a time or even 1 minute at a time...I don't want to try another med right now and have to go thru all the side effects again. I would love to just stop taking all of the meds and try the holistic way but have to stay on an even keel to get to work every day and hell would probably break loose without close watch. But wouldnt it be neat to have enough money to go away to one of those fancy spas and just sweat it all out and have someone take care of you for a long while and maybe even an Indian Shaman to give you magic herbs that would cure you and chase away the evil spirits.
> Well, back to reality. I guess the one day at a time will have to suffice until something better comes along.
> peace,
> paula
>

 

Barbara and oona BarbaraCat

Posted by proud mary on January 23, 2003, at 13:03:38

In reply to If only it were just withdrawal oona, posted by BarbaraCat on January 22, 2003, at 13:40:06

It is so difficult, I'm finding. I am actually starting to long for my zoloft, poopout and all. I don't think the Lexapro is working for me and I detailed what's going on in another posting but I'm still so confused about this message board thing, I'm not sure where it ended up. The bottom line is, after 13 days, I feel like I'm getting a bit WORSE, not better. What do ya'll think?

I wish I felt like I could go the natural route and try to cope with meditation, massage, excersize and good eating habits. But I can't even get myself to walk the dog. I must say, though, you guys have given me new thoughts and insights into taking these chemicals. However, I also know you understand what it can be like without the chemical help.
I do need avice about the Lexapro, though. I am getting super crabby in the afternoons, so much so that I am horribly hard on the kids. That is the main thing that bothers me, that and the unsettled feeling that seems to get worse and worse as the evening goes on. .5 mg. of klonopin doesn't seem to do the job anymore...I'm taking 1 mg and getting some relief, but it bugs me that I am so unsettled.
I just want to feel GOOD. I've always been a fairly upbeat person and I realize that not everyone needs to be *HAPPY HAPPY* at all times, but this unsettled crankiness is horrible.

I am thinking about calling the pdoc today and complaining, but I'm not sure I've given the Lex a real chance to work. Plus things have been more stressful than usual because the kids have been sick and I've missed work and my husband's been out of town...and on and on....ugh.
One odd thought, though...doing housework seems to sooth me. Weird, huh? It as if I just want to hole up in my house and do dishes, vaccuum, dust, etc...are ya'll now thinking that I REALLY have a problem?

Barbara, I'm sorry about your mom. I know how that feels because my dad died unexpectedly 11 years ago and then about three years ago, my oldest brother (50) and caretaker of the family died TOTALLY unexpectedly overseas where he lived and worked. I thought I took the whole situation very well at the time, but sometimes I find the unfairness of it all sneaking in and making me angry. Unresolved grief? Not enough drugs? I just don't know. Really, I shouldn't complain because everything in my life is pretty damn good...I just have this little mood problem....

thanks for the support.....I REALLY do appreciate it!
Mary

 

Barbara

Posted by proud mary on January 23, 2003, at 13:30:13

In reply to Barbara and oona BarbaraCat, posted by proud mary on January 23, 2003, at 13:03:38

Barbara,
I am speechless with sympathy of the difficult times you are experiencing. Why is it that not one thing goes wrong, which we may or may not be able to handle, but that EVERYTHING goes wrong all at once?
I am NOT a fanatical religious person but I do believe in a light, warm, loving energy who is good and caring and to this entity I will pray for you to have help coping with all of these negative things taking place in your life. That you and your husband will find comfort somehow with the news or his parents health problems, that neighbors and friends will come to your aid during this time of paralyzing trouble, that some of the load will be lifted from you to give you time to heal and rest and find your strenghth again. If I was your neighbor, I would come in and help you any way I could. I know this isn't about meds, but this is how I know to reach you and I want you to know I'm thinking about you and praying for you.

Mary

 

Re: Thank you proud mary

Posted by BarbaraCat on January 23, 2003, at 14:23:52

In reply to Barbara, posted by proud mary on January 23, 2003, at 13:30:13

Mary,
Your kind thoughts and prayers help more than any meds. With that, I am going to see my pdoc tomorrow and once again try to figure out if yet another med will help with this paralysis and despair. I'm telling you, I'm ready to beg for electro shock at this point.

It's the despair, feelings of total hopelessness and expectation that things will only get worse that is unbearable. Trying to get out and take a walk, although I think it will eventually perk me up, is just about impossible. I can barely think to tie up my shoes much less brave the cold grey Oregon dampness. Let's keep each other in our prayers extra special during these times. I truly believe in that loving energy as well, although during these times I feel totally cut off from it. Keep doing that housework! It's not crazy at all and if you can do it, it's probably the most organizing and brightening activity you can take on. Plus, better than wallowing in physical clutter on top of the mental clutter, eh? - Barbara

> Barbara,
> I am speechless with sympathy of the difficult times you are experiencing. Why is it that not one thing goes wrong, which we may or may not be able to handle, but that EVERYTHING goes wrong all at once?
> I am NOT a fanatical religious person but I do believe in a light, warm, loving energy who is good and caring and to this entity I will pray for you to have help coping with all of these negative things taking place in your life. That you and your husband will find comfort somehow with the news or his parents health problems, that neighbors and friends will come to your aid during this time of paralyzing trouble, that some of the load will be lifted from you to give you time to heal and rest and find your strenghth again. If I was your neighbor, I would come in and help you any way I could. I know this isn't about meds, but this is how I know to reach you and I want you to know I'm thinking about you and praying for you.
>
> Mary


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