Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 19971

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Countdown to invasion

Posted by Noa on January 31, 2000, at 21:49:59

In reply to Re: Kev---are you a consultant, or a lawyer????, posted by Noa on January 31, 2000, at 16:21:50

I have done a fair amount today. The bathroom is clean, not spotless, but respectable.

I have also cleared a fair amount of detritus--junk mail, newspapers, paper plate, napkins, paper cups, take out containers, pizza boxes, popcorn bags, whatever.

I wish I were ready to say, "Bring on the Plumbers!" But there is still a ton more to clear in order to make this place look ok enough.

Sometimes, I really want someone to come see this place, as much as I hide it from everyone. This is because it is beyond belief. When I tell someone my place is a mess, I know they are visualizing a terrible mess, but that it doesn't come close to the reality of this place.

It is beyond belief for me. How did I get to be this person who lets her environment become so disgusting? I know and yet I don't know.

 

Re: Countdown to invasion

Posted by Noa on February 1, 2000, at 7:50:34

In reply to Countdown to invasion, posted by Noa on January 31, 2000, at 21:49:59

What do you call the dirt that accumulates when you're depressed?

Funk Gunk!


Ok, I know, pretty lame in the humor department, but it came to me as I was scrubbing and it gave me a giggle. And, hey--I need all the giggles I can get.

I have managed to clean the bathroom and clear the front hallway, which was beyond cluttered--it was literally clogged. My place has been a veritable obstacle course, and the front hallway was one of the worst spots of all. Assuming the "Lair" theory, it kind of makes sense--like an animal in hiding, I have blocked off the access to my hideaway.

I toted bags out to the corner for pick up this morning. Let's see, between today and yesterday, there was a total of 6 30-gallon trash bags, full to capacity; 2 30-gallon recycling bags full of bottles, etc.; and 9 paper grocery bags full of newspapers. I have probably collected almost all of the bottles, but for trash and newspapers, there is still a ton more!

This place is the kind of thing that would make great video for Trash TV talk shows ("'My Friend/Sister/Daughter's a Slob and I Want Her to Clean Up Her Act!' on the next ___________"). I can just hear the audience gasping as they view the videotape!

Thanks to all for the support. It really helped. It is still a work in progress, though, so you can't count on more updates. I hope they're not too tedious.

 

Re: Depressed Person's Lair--Torchgirl

Posted by Noa on February 1, 2000, at 7:55:56

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair, posted by torchgrl on January 30, 2000, at 0:18:55

Did you ever get your bathroom wall fixed? How was that?

Will your Dad being staying with you? Will he care how your place looks? Will he comment?

Presidents' Day--that's about two weeks away, right? Well, I still have a lot of cleaning to do here, so maybe we can do some parallel cleaning, setting partialized goals together, etc.

 

Re: Countdown to invasion

Posted by Cindy W on February 1, 2000, at 9:06:50

In reply to Countdown to invasion, posted by Noa on January 31, 2000, at 21:49:59

> I have done a fair amount today. The bathroom is clean, not spotless, but respectable.
>
> I have also cleared a fair amount of detritus--junk mail, newspapers, paper plate, napkins, paper cups, take out containers, pizza boxes, popcorn bags, whatever.
>
> I wish I were ready to say, "Bring on the Plumbers!" But there is still a ton more to clear in order to make this place look ok enough.
>
> Sometimes, I really want someone to come see this place, as much as I hide it from everyone. This is because it is beyond belief. When I tell someone my place is a mess, I know they are visualizing a terrible mess, but that it doesn't come close to the reality of this place.
>
> It is beyond belief for me. How did I get to be this person who lets her environment become so disgusting? I know and yet I don't know.

Noa, I empathize with your dilemma. My house (from OCD) is quite a strange place too, and needs lots of cleaning. My thoughts are with you. Every time something breaks, I pray to just survive the people who come to fix it!--Cindy W

 

Re: Depressed Person's Lair--Torchgirl

Posted by torchgrl on February 1, 2000, at 13:39:14

In reply to Re: Depressed Person's Lair--Torchgirl, posted by Noa on February 1, 2000, at 7:55:56

> Did you ever get your bathroom wall fixed? How was that?

not yet...in addition to wanting the place to be cleaner/tidier before inviting anyone in, I always feel like I'm annoying my landlord by calling about stuff. I know it's in their best interest to know about problems and fix them, but they're pretty hands-off, and it's hard to get them to follow through on stuff. So it requires me to a) remember to call, b)talk myself out of feeling bad about calling, c)feel comfortable with the state of my apt. I know, I set myself up for anxiety this way...

> Will your Dad being staying with you? Will he care how your place looks? Will he comment?

Fortunately, no, he'll be in a hotel, but I just can't stand people seeing my place a mess. I'm supposed to be a grown-up now, not a messy teenager with clothes all over the floor, but I never seem to have made it out of that stage...I'm sure he won't lay into me for it being a mess, but I'll feel like I look that much worse for it.

>
> Presidents' Day--that's about two weeks away, right? Well, I still have a lot of cleaning to do here, so maybe we can do some parallel cleaning, setting partialized goals together, etc.

Good idea. I know that it's probably a matter of breaking everything down into smaller tasks-- i.e. today, just go through the stacks of magazines (I don't know if I could just throw them away without looking at them--it would haunt me forever that I'd missed something important!). It's just hard to actually do that sometimes... Right now, it looks like one big mess with nowhere to begin. Sometimes I think it would be great to have a maid come in every couple of weeks, but I'd still have to clean in order for *that* to happen!

 

Re: Countdown to invasion

Posted by cag on February 1, 2000, at 16:25:39

In reply to Re: Countdown to invasion, posted by Noa on February 1, 2000, at 7:50:34

This has been extremely interesting and I am pulling for you. My Mother was OCD, couldn't throw anything away. But what was worse, she collected other people's junk. (Truly.) She would prowl the dumps and garbage cans and bring home treasures of other people's coffe grounds, grapefruit rinds, egg shells, tin cans, etc. She had a large family of children who had to live this way. We literally could not get in some rooms of the house, as it was piled from floor to ceiling with the things that she was compelled to collect. As we entered our young teens, each of us ran away or left home. She loved us in her own way, but could not get past her OCD. This was many years ago in a tiny place where the health officials and child welfare turned a blind eye. Growing up living like filthy rats ruined us all. (Dad fled too...he committed suicide and left all us kids to contend with this disgusting mess ourselves.)Our lives were totally abnormal in every respect. We expected her to die all alone in her filthy nest someday, but, mercifully, she died in a hospital. She was bathed, gowned and respectable when she died. This was the only time in my life I was not ashamed to have others look at her.

 

Re: Countdown to invasion

Posted by Noa on February 1, 2000, at 19:56:48

In reply to Re: Countdown to invasion, posted by cag on February 1, 2000, at 16:25:39

Wow, thanks for telling your story. That was quite a childhood.

Actually, when I used the term OCD, I meant it not in the true sense, like your mother's compulsions to keep things, junk, trash. For me , it is more the result of depression and anxiety.

Usually we hear about OCD profiles that involve cleanliness compulsions and rituals.

I am curious. Did you, as a child, or do you now, have an understanding of the beliefs underlying your mother's compulsions?

I am reminded of my older sister's friend, down the block from us, whose mother kept old newspapers for decades, piled up, and lots of other junk, too. No one beside the mother or daughter went inside the house.

 

Re: Countdown to invasion

Posted by mary on February 1, 2000, at 20:05:05

In reply to Countdown to invasion, posted by Noa on January 31, 2000, at 21:49:59


> Sometimes, I really want someone to come see this place, as much as I hide it from everyone. This is because it is beyond belief. When I tell someone my place is a mess, I know they are visualizing a terrible mess, but that it doesn't come close to the reality of this place.


How I wish i had the nerve for someone to see how my place really looks too. Embarrassment keeps it hidden and as someone else said the mess has even kept me alive on one or two occasions. Unfinished work keeps me from quitting my job too. Because then all would know how far behind I have gotten. I suppose there's good in every bad thing.

There is no way anyone could visualize the mess here. I have not used my dining room for three years now. I have been trying to clear out the clutter for over eight years. It just builds up again. (Hoarding, more than OCD,appears to be the cause as well as that darn perfectionism. YOu know, deciding where to put something, what to keep, shopping bags to fold up, old crossword puzzles to complete instead of throw otu). Istarted on a most serious attempt to work on the dining room last summer and didnt get to far since we had to have company and I redumped stuff from other rooms into the dining room of course. That way, the rest looked reasonable - right? Then I made a deal with my psychologist I would clean up the room in twelve weeks time by spending three hours on Tuesday evenings or else there would be a penalty - I would donate a sum of money to a charity of my choice equivalent to the tuition of a course on stress reduction. Then the flu hit and destroyed that plan. Set up a new one during my Christmas break with plans to complete it by January 9. That day came and went. The Samaritans are $300 richer and my dining room is better but still undone. My new agreement with my therapist is to do 45 minutes a day until my next session. Meet the goal, I keep $50 for spending on vacation. Non-comply, some other charity wins. So far so good although I almost forgot to clean it all up tonight (I did dump newspapers from 1998 and uncovered store receipts with clothes I purchased in 1996 and yet to be reutrned). One night down and five to go. The room won't be done but it will be better.

I would love to print out this trail and bring to therapy with me on Monday. YOu all have expressed over and over the despair, the issue and the problem with getting rid of the MESS. I think I'll just refer him since I'm afraid I would forget to bring the papers and then I would have to stick them in the dining room until the next session. WOE IS ME!!

I, too, wonder how I became a person with no control over clutter. Why do I need to keep these things and why do I have so much trouble getting rid of them? They really are worthless, except for checks and bits of cash which might be hiding there.

Good Luck. The length and number of different responders makes me feel more human and not like some monster.

Mary

 

Re: The Lair

Posted by Noa on February 1, 2000, at 20:26:23

In reply to Re: Countdown to invasion, posted by mary on February 1, 2000, at 20:05:05

Mary, I loved your post. I laughed ("with", not "at") about the receipts and clothes, cuz I been there. I guess, if you can't return em, you can add them to your charitable donation cart.

In August, at the start of the new school year, at my NEW job, I made myself locate some clothes I had bought a long time ago that needed alterations (hems on slacks, etc.). I managed to dig them up, and actually managed to get them to the seamstress. Funny thing was, a couple of the items had needed alterations because they were too big on me, but I had gained so much weight in the 2 yrs since buying them, they didn't need those alterations anymore, just the hemming.

I have tended to want to hold onto receipts, bank slips, etc. AS IF I were going to sit down and record them all and balance my checkbook. HAH! Once upon a time, I kept an accurate running balance, and even checked it against my monthly statement. I cannot remember the last time I did that.

For you it was the dining room. For me, the whole place is full of junk, but I hadn't ventured into the kitchen for almost a year, exept to sidle into the edge, near the door, just to access the fridge and microwave. Haven't used the sink or stove in a year.

I'll be rootin for ya. Actually 45 minutes a day is ambitious. Good luck.

 

Re: Countdown to invasion

Posted by cag on February 1, 2000, at 21:35:01

In reply to Re: Countdown to invasion, posted by Noa on February 1, 2000, at 19:56:48

I realized you were not using the term OCD seriously, and can honestly understand what you are going through. I wish I knew my Mother's rationalization for doing what she did. This was many moons ago. But it was a source of true tragedy for her children. We still talk about it endlessly. It will never be resolved with us. We all felt she loved her trash more than she loved us. We often cried about it and begged her to stop it when we were little. Our dream was to have a playmate actually come in to play. Or actually sit down at a table to eat or get water out of the faucet. (We couldn't get to the sinks or the stove.) We didn't date or tell anyone where we lived. The yard was as bad as the inside. We were so ashamed of it and felt so condemned. Some folks wouldn't let us come to their houses to play with their kids, because we were dirty little kids with pitiful clothes and very unlearned in the polite ways of life. I want so much for you to be able to get out of your spot and feel the freedom that will come to you when you are finally finished with this. I find I am almost wreckless with being able to rid myself of stuff. If I can't find a place to put something away I will get rid of it rather than clutter up my place. Thankfully, my husband takes out the trash every morning, and I know having a husband keeps me cleaner than I might be if I were alone. We can let ourselves really get down and out when we live alone. Good luck, Noa. How I hope you can accomplish this. It will be so good for you.

 

MARY... Re: Countdown to invasion

Posted by cag on February 1, 2000, at 21:42:38

In reply to Re: Countdown to invasion, posted by mary on February 1, 2000, at 20:05:05

My most anxious moments in life were when someone would knock on our door. Would it be the police arresting Mother for living this way? Would it be someone to take us away to an orphanage and her to an asylum or prison? I honestly thought no one in the world could live the way we did. Hoarding is a terrible burden. Are you married? Do you have children? Do they think they are less important to you than your inability to make a home to be enjoyed and proud of? I feel so bad for all of us who have struggled with these terrible issues. Mental illness is so cruel. Good luck to you. I am sincere. I hope the very best for you and yours.

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair

Posted by harry b. on February 7, 2000, at 21:13:10

In reply to Update on the Depressed Person's Lair, posted by Noa on January 29, 2000, at 9:02:16

Noa, thanks for your response to my post re:
Serzone. I've been reading the board and came
upon this thread. I think I know what your place
looked like. I have a very small house, I have
not permitted entry to anyone in about 10 years.
It's sad. I used to clean and have people over
for dinner. Even had a party once. That seems
like a lifetime ago. Now I live in a dark cave,
the blinds always closed. Cat hair and cobwebs
everywhere. My plumbing is in disrepair. I have
to close the water valve in the basement to stop
the leaking faucets. The ceilings are cracked
and falling in on me. A few years ago I did not
clean my cat's litter for several months. She
decided to do her business in the spare bedroom.
That door has not been opened since. I'd need a
biohazard suit to go in there. The exterior isn't
any better. I manage to keep the lawn mowed most
of the time and I shovel the sidewalks to avoid
being fined. Beyond that, it's just a matter of
time til the neighbors call the authorities.
Depression sucks. When anyone knocks on my door
I freeze and wait for them to go away. It's like
I'm a criminal or something.

BTW, I made it thru the day. Now I'll try to make
it thru the night. Like Michael, I have weapons,
and I feel a desire to handle the one I've chosen
as my means of exit. So simple, so quick, forever.

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair

Posted by Noa on February 7, 2000, at 21:23:17

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair, posted by harry b. on February 7, 2000, at 21:13:10

Please, Harry. Put the gun somewhere where you can't get to it. Please.

Or, go to the emergency room. Spend some time where people can make sure you are safe until these feelings pass.

Serzone isn't a good choice for seeing short term change. I take serzone. But it is part of a cocktail of 6 medicines. It was the fifth. It took about a month to start making any kind of difference.

A lot of us here have been on a long journey, a quest, if you will, to find something that works. For each of us it is a unique combination of medications and/or therapy and/or other remedies. But there are many of us who finally found some relief. Please don't make any decisions about your life while you are in such a low mood, such despair. YOu need to get through this until you can experience some hope.

As for the house, thanks for sharing what yours is like. I usually feel I am the only one who has let it go so far. You're right--depression does suck.

Don't put yourself in danger. Please.

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair

Posted by Cindy W on February 7, 2000, at 21:25:47

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair, posted by harry b. on February 7, 2000, at 21:13:10

> Noa, thanks for your response to my post re:
> Serzone. I've been reading the board and came
> upon this thread. I think I know what your place
> looked like. I have a very small house, I have
> not permitted entry to anyone in about 10 years.
> It's sad. I used to clean and have people over
> for dinner. Even had a party once. That seems
> like a lifetime ago. Now I live in a dark cave,
> the blinds always closed. Cat hair and cobwebs
> everywhere. My plumbing is in disrepair. I have
> to close the water valve in the basement to stop
> the leaking faucets. The ceilings are cracked
> and falling in on me. A few years ago I did not
> clean my cat's litter for several months. She
> decided to do her business in the spare bedroom.
> That door has not been opened since. I'd need a
> biohazard suit to go in there. The exterior isn't
> any better. I manage to keep the lawn mowed most
> of the time and I shovel the sidewalks to avoid
> being fined. Beyond that, it's just a matter of
> time til the neighbors call the authorities.
> Depression sucks. When anyone knocks on my door
> I freeze and wait for them to go away. It's like
> I'm a criminal or something.
>
> BTW, I made it thru the day. Now I'll try to make
> it thru the night. Like Michael, I have weapons,
> and I feel a desire to handle the one I've chosen
> as my means of exit. So simple, so quick, forever.
>
harry b, I hope you make it thru the night without handling your weapons. Depression is a treatable condition if you reach out to others for help. I totally wrecked my house (from having 2000 guinea pigs) and was able to clean it up and walk away, without feeling totally hopeless, because friends told me that I could walk away and that I could get better. Please remember that people on this board care and want to help, and if you start feeling like hurting yourself, call somebody so you are not alone (even if you have to call a crisis number, emergency room, doctor, etc.). Hang in there!--Cindy W

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair

Posted by Noa on February 7, 2000, at 21:36:39

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair, posted by Cindy W on February 7, 2000, at 21:25:47

I totally wrecked my house (from having 2000 guinea pigs)

Cindy, am I reading this correctly?

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair

Posted by Cindy W on February 7, 2000, at 21:55:39

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair, posted by Noa on February 7, 2000, at 21:36:39

> I totally wrecked my house (from having 2000 guinea pigs)
>
> Cindy, am I reading this correctly?

Noa, you are reading this correctly...I had guinea pigs in every room and in the kitchen and garage. When I moved out of a condo (because the neighbors complained to the city), I had to replace carpeting (from remnants of course) and repaint...but the job wasn't as hard as I thought it would be (I thought it would be easier to kill myself than clean it up, when my landlord had to come fix things). My OCD involves hoarding and collecting (unfortunately, collecting things like guinea pigs and now frogs, as well as old clothes, plastic bags, etc. etc...at least frogs don't breed like guinea pigs do!) What I want to get across to harry b and Michael (who posted below) is that things that seem hopeless do have solutions, and that other people will help with solutions, once they know how deeply you are hurting. The first step is reaching out to others.--Cindy W

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY

Posted by harry b. on February 8, 2000, at 13:13:54

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair, posted by Cindy W on February 7, 2000, at 21:25:47


> I totally wrecked my house (from having 2000 guinea pigs)


2000 guinea pigs ???
sorry, but that actually elicited a chuckle.
Thanks.

 

Re: DP's Lair--The Tedious Play By Play

Posted by Kim on February 8, 2000, at 19:55:51

In reply to DP's Lair--The Tedious Play By Play, posted by Noa on January 31, 2000, at 12:09:10

> > Ok, so now I am answering my own posts. Oh well.
>
> I just finished part of the bathroom. Shoveled a ton of trash off the floor, tried to separate out laundry from trash (I might have lost a few items there), and scrubbed the sink and the area around it.
>
> As I was thus engaged, my thoughts floated around about how the hell I ever let it get this bad. I think I might have a bad case of "depressed perfectionism." I mean, that I am a bit obsessive about wanting it to be perfectly clean, but feel so overwhelmed and so lacking in confidence in my ability to meet my own standards, that I just give up altogether. And once it gets to be too big of a problem, well, then it IS overwhelming by anyone's standards. At that point it seems pointless to do a little cleaning, because it hardly makes a dent. It is very rigid thinking, I know.
>
> For example, just now I was cleaning the sink. Now, mind you my goal today is to do enough cleaning not to get myself evicted. But I pulled up the blind in the bathroom window for light, and then noticed how filthy the window sill, etc. was, so I cleaned that. Ok, no big deal, not a major detour. But my MIND starts in with the obsessiveness: I notice the dirt between the screen and window, and start thinking about how if I want the windows open, I will have to clean that thoroughly. Then, I think about how dirty the screen itself must be, and imagine taking it out and bringing it outside for a scrub and hosing down. I said to myself, don't be ridiculous, there is more dirt in here than would come in because of the window being open. But my obsessive mind stirs up this anxiety anyway.
>
> I was never really that afflicted with OCD, not overtly anyway. I don't have rituals. And I wouldn't have been characterized by people who know me as afraid of dirt. It is just a covert sort of thing my mind does and my reaction is to withdraw and give up.
>
> This is the process that used to happen when I was a kid and had to write for school-through college, actually. I would freeze up, give up, get overwhelmed. My mind would edit words before they even reached my pen, so I couldn't write at all. (Hah! Look at me now, you can't shut me up!!) This eventually subsided after college and when I went to graduate school in my late twenties.
>
> But the brain process is the same, I think.
>
> Any thoughts?

Noa,
"Depressed Perfectionism" describes it perfectly! I can't just spray the bathroom counter and wipe it, I've got to go at the tile grout with a toothbrush. It's too much to even contemplate, so I just lie in bed and it gets worse and worse and worse until my mother comes to visit, then I panic.
Kim

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY

Posted by Cindy W on February 8, 2000, at 21:49:58

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY, posted by harry b. on February 8, 2000, at 13:13:54

>
> > I totally wrecked my house (from having 2000 guinea pigs)
>
>
> 2000 guinea pigs ???
> sorry, but that actually elicited a chuckle.
> Thanks.

harry b, Glad that made you chuckle! And it's true, unfortunately! Count your blessings that as messy as your lair is, at least you aren't overrun with guinea pigs (and the smelly mice that hung out with them once they realized where all the chow was).--Cindy W

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY

Posted by Noa on February 9, 2000, at 6:22:26

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY, posted by Cindy W on February 8, 2000, at 21:49:58

Cindy, thanks for telling us about the guinea pigs and frogs. I have to admit, it is hard for me to picture 2000 of them, or to imagine the amount of space needed.

I hope you don't mind my questions, but I find this intriguing. If you do mind, just say so or don't answer.

You said this is a matter of hoarding. when you amassed the guinea pigs, did you have a specific thought or thoughts as to why you needed them? Is this something you have done your whole life? Did hoarding start small and become a larger problem? Do you tend to focus on animals? Does having the 'flock' bring feelings of comfort?

Finally, how DID you walk away? How did your housing situation change? What happened to the guinea pigs? Is your frog collection posing a housing problem now?

Curious Noa

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY

Posted by Cindy W on February 9, 2000, at 9:19:32

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY, posted by Noa on February 9, 2000, at 6:22:26

> Cindy, thanks for telling us about the guinea pigs and frogs. I have to admit, it is hard for me to picture 2000 of them, or to imagine the amount of space needed.
>
> I hope you don't mind my questions, but I find this intriguing. If you do mind, just say so or don't answer.
>
> You said this is a matter of hoarding. when you amassed the guinea pigs, did you have a specific thought or thoughts as to why you needed them? Is this something you have done your whole life? Did hoarding start small and become a larger problem? Do you tend to focus on animals? Does having the 'flock' bring feelings of comfort?
>
> Finally, how DID you walk away? How did your housing situation change? What happened to the guinea pigs? Is your frog collection posing a housing problem now?
>
> Curious Noa

Noa, I used to collect books, then houseplants, then when I returned to California from St. Louis (when I completed grad school), I gave most of the plants away (grudgingly...I had hundreds), then after having an abortion, got my first guinea pig, who of course didn't fill the "hole" inside me, so I got another guinea pig, then more, then they bred, then I had 24, then a couple hundred, then a couple of thousand. After the city and everybody came after me several times, I took most of them (the ones I could catch) to a breeder in Texas, in an airconditioned van (my husband and I took turns driving). Then, I had only 80, and they were the oldest ones (one eye, ugly, problems, and the fast ones I couldn't catch before). Now they have been going by attrition (are over l0 years old, and I only have 14 left). I got into frogs when I moved into a tiny ranchhouse (I had to move away from my home 2 l/2 hours away because they closed the hospital where I was working, and I had to take a job in a prison, and my husband stayed in the house we had bought...now I'm renting and my only companions are treefrogs, and I immediately of course wanted to raise tads (the frogs were happy to accommodate), and then I got into saving tadpoles from a pond that was drying up in town, and the rest is history! I think I focused on living things because it meets my need for "mothering" and because I have this terrible sense of responsibility for living as well as inanimate things (why I cannot give away old clothes or plastic bags and cannot even sell my old car after I got a new one...it would have to have the "right home").--Cindy

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY

Posted by Noa on February 10, 2000, at 2:12:38

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY, posted by Cindy W on February 9, 2000, at 9:19:32

Thanks for filling me in, Cindy. When you do amass collectons, do you enjoy them? Can you experience satisfaction or is there a constant sense of not feeling like the "spot" has been hit?

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY

Posted by Cindy W on February 10, 2000, at 8:57:36

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY, posted by Noa on February 10, 2000, at 2:12:38

> Thanks for filling me in, Cindy. When you do amass collectons, do you enjoy them? Can you experience satisfaction or is there a constant sense of not feeling like the "spot" has been hit?

Noa, the collections dull the longing, pain, hunger, emptiness and anxiety, but never quite like the "spot has been hit." I'll start out just loving them but end up resenting all the work they take.--Cindy W

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY

Posted by Kim on February 11, 2000, at 22:31:50

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY, posted by Cindy W on February 10, 2000, at 8:57:36

> > Thanks for filling me in, Cindy. When you do amass collectons, do you enjoy them? Can you experience satisfaction or is there a constant sense of not feeling like the "spot" has been hit?
>
> Noa, the collections dull the longing, pain, hunger, emptiness and anxiety, but never quite like the "spot has been hit." I'll start out just loving them but end up resenting all the work they take.--Cindy W

Cindy, have you thought about volunteering at the Humane Society or something? That way you could love all the animals without ultimately being responsible for them--as long as you can resist adopting them! Or maybe you could start a dog-walking service. Something, anyway, to let you share your talents with animals without being overcome by them. JMHO.
Kim

 

Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY

Posted by Cindy W on February 14, 2000, at 20:36:46

In reply to Re: Update on the Depressed Person's Lair-CINDY, posted by Kim on February 11, 2000, at 22:31:50

> > > Thanks for filling me in, Cindy. When you do amass collectons, do you enjoy them? Can you experience satisfaction or is there a constant sense of not feeling like the "spot" has been hit?
> >
> > Noa, the collections dull the longing, pain, hunger, emptiness and anxiety, but never quite like the "spot has been hit." I'll start out just loving them but end up resenting all the work they take.--Cindy W
>
> Cindy, have you thought about volunteering at the Humane Society or something? That way you could love all the animals without ultimately being responsible for them--as long as you can resist adopting them! Or maybe you could start a dog-walking service. Something, anyway, to let you share your talents with animals without being overcome by them. JMHO.
> Kim
Kim, I would dearly love to work with endangered species (such as frogs) if I ever free myself enough from my daily rituals to volunteer.--Cindy W


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