Psycho-Babble 2000 Thread 146

Shown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

My daughter's appt

Posted by Greg on April 25, 2002, at 15:00:32

Well, NaShay and Mary were both very nervous as expected. The doctor took them both back and kept them both in the room for the entire time. Mary said it was more of a feeling out process to see where her head was at more than anything else. She asked how she was coping with everything and if she had had any recent suicidal thoughts. Mary said for the first 15 or 20 minutes Nashay's answers were real short and to the point and she seemed very reluctant to talk about suicide. But she did open up and start talking more freely once she got comfortable. The one thing that NaShay kept going back to was that she felt like her Mom and I hear what she says, but that we don't really listen to her. She also talked about how much her and her Mom have been fighting over the last year or so and how it's almost always over stupid, meaningless things. This has always surprised me that they fight so much because they are so inseperable. They go everywhere together, the grocery store, clothes shopping, the mall, everywhere. When they watch TV, they always sit together. I've never understood how two people that are so close can fight so passionately.

Anyway, they seemed to have gotten some productive dialog going and they both looked relieved when they got home. The futute appts will be just my daughter by herself and the doc assured her that anything she says will be kept in confidence unless it involves suicide. If she feels that NaShay is in danger, she will let us know. And she had NaShay make a pact with her that if she gets in that place she will immediately talk to an adult, me, her Mom, her sister. If she feels she can't talk to any of us, she is to call the doctor anytime 24/7. I thought that was a great thing. The doctor also said that she will be wanting to get myself and Brandon (my son) involved on some level in the future. She said that it's important for NaShay that not only she go thru a healing process, but the whole familly as well. That makes a lot of sense to me.

It's a start and there's a long way to go, but I feel good that she is getting help. She overheard me talking to Shar on the phone yesterday, she told me last night that she knows that I think I'm a bad Father. She said she wouldn't trade me for anybody else...Pretty cool kid.

Greg

 

Re: My daughter's appt » Greg

Posted by Shar on April 26, 2002, at 0:28:48

In reply to My daughter's appt, posted by Greg on April 25, 2002, at 15:00:32

Greg,
The appt. sounds really good. I think it is great that NaShay had Mary there for support, and also Mary got to know the therapist a little. I think your daughter is very perceptive, and observant (these kids...they don't miss much, do they?).

I'm glad it went so well. And, I'm glad she let you know that you're a keeper... 8-)

xoxo
YIC

> Well, NaShay and Mary were both very nervous as expected. The doctor took them both back and kept them both in the room for the entire time. Mary said it was more of a feeling out process to see where her head was at more than anything else. She asked how she was coping with everything and if she had had any recent suicidal thoughts. Mary said for the first 15 or 20 minutes Nashay's answers were real short and to the point and she seemed very reluctant to talk about suicide. But she did open up and start talking more freely once she got comfortable. The one thing that NaShay kept going back to was that she felt like her Mom and I hear what she says, but that we don't really listen to her. She also talked about how much her and her Mom have been fighting over the last year or so and how it's almost always over stupid, meaningless things. This has always surprised me that they fight so much because they are so inseperable. They go everywhere together, the grocery store, clothes shopping, the mall, everywhere. When they watch TV, they always sit together. I've never understood how two people that are so close can fight so passionately.
>
> Anyway, they seemed to have gotten some productive dialog going and they both looked relieved when they got home. The futute appts will be just my daughter by herself and the doc assured her that anything she says will be kept in confidence unless it involves suicide. If she feels that NaShay is in danger, she will let us know. And she had NaShay make a pact with her that if she gets in that place she will immediately talk to an adult, me, her Mom, her sister. If she feels she can't talk to any of us, she is to call the doctor anytime 24/7. I thought that was a great thing. The doctor also said that she will be wanting to get myself and Brandon (my son) involved on some level in the future. She said that it's important for NaShay that not only she go thru a healing process, but the whole familly as well. That makes a lot of sense to me.
>
> It's a start and there's a long way to go, but I feel good that she is getting help. She overheard me talking to Shar on the phone yesterday, she told me last night that she knows that I think I'm a bad Father. She said she wouldn't trade me for anybody else...Pretty cool kid.
>
> Greg

 

Re: My daughter's appt » Greg

Posted by Krazy Kat on April 26, 2002, at 10:25:26

In reply to My daughter's appt, posted by Greg on April 25, 2002, at 15:00:32

Greg:

How wonderful! I think one of the most important things re: my pdoc is that he is available almost all the time and calls back immediately. So, not only does she have the security of her family, but also this outsider and, as we all know from our experiences, sometimes that is better, or, at the very least, easier.

It's just really, really neat. I think of the fact that Sar did not have continuous good help, and it saddens me. It means so much.

Re: the fighting with Mom - my mom and I are very close (in some ways) and we argue far more than the rest of the family. Sometimes it's a sign that you're too similar, sometimes that you're too different.

Good Dad! :)

- kk

 

Re: My daughter's appt » Greg

Posted by judy1 on April 26, 2002, at 11:39:39

In reply to My daughter's appt, posted by Greg on April 25, 2002, at 15:00:32

Hi Greg!
I read both your messages and felt so relieved for you and your daughter. Thanks so much for sharing with us, I think being a parent you always worry about how your illness impacts your children, whether nature/nurture. I hope all stays positive, and I think you're a great Dad too! Take care, Judy

 

Re: My daughter's appt-Shar, KK, Judy

Posted by Greg on April 26, 2002, at 14:51:02

In reply to Re: My daughter's appt » Greg, posted by Krazy Kat on April 26, 2002, at 10:25:26

You guys are so cool! Thanks for all the encouragement. I can't believe all the support that I've gotten here and at ASH and other places. If people keep telling me I'm a good dad, I might just start believing it... :)

KK, what you said about Sar struck something with me. I had been thinking the same thing. I've been wondering a lot about if she had gotten the kind of love and support out in the real world that she got from everyone here if she would still be with us. For all her troubles, she seemed like such a warm and loving kid (I call her that because I'm so old:)) and one a parent would find very easy to love.

Greg

 

Re: My daughter's appt

Posted by Chris A. on April 26, 2002, at 21:05:54

In reply to Re: My daughter's appt » Greg, posted by Shar on April 26, 2002, at 0:28:48

I'm glad to hear that your daughter's appointment went so well. I haven't said anything to you for a long time, but have been lurking, as we're going through a major crisis with one of our duaghters. It wrenches a parent's heart to see their child hurting so much.

I especially remember that time you went to visit Utah. At the momment I would like to take my daughter, escape and go to Zion Natl. Park, the Arches or Canyon Lands for a month or two. Guess that won't work, as she has finals coming up and I am still recovering from major surgery. We both love to hike, although I can't keep up with her.
I have a book entitled "Don't Stop Loving Me." As a father it sounds like you're great. We don't have to be perfect, just present and loving them.

Blessings,

Chris A.

 

greg - best of luck!

Posted by Krazy Kat on April 26, 2002, at 21:17:58

In reply to Re: My daughter's appt-Shar, KK, Judy, posted by Greg on April 26, 2002, at 14:51:02

i'm leaving for awhile but will look forward to hearing the good news either via a return down the road or lurking.

- kk

 

Re: My daughter's appt » Greg

Posted by Cam W. on April 27, 2002, at 0:00:48

In reply to My daughter's appt, posted by Greg on April 25, 2002, at 15:00:32

> She said she wouldn't trade me for anybody else...

Except me, maybe.

;^P


 

Re: My daughter's appt

Posted by allisonm on April 27, 2002, at 7:08:58

In reply to My daughter's appt, posted by Greg on April 25, 2002, at 15:00:32

Greg,

Your news sounds really great and hopeful. I am so glad!! Hang on. You all love each other very much. This situation has to pass.

Sending you all much love,
Alli

 

Cam personal question? » Cam W.

Posted by Willow on April 27, 2002, at 10:07:57

In reply to Re: My daughter's appt » Greg, posted by Cam W. on April 27, 2002, at 0:00:48

> Except me, maybe.

I would trade Kazoo for you, if you would except me?

Whistling Willow

 

Re: Cam personal question? » Willow

Posted by Cam W. on April 27, 2002, at 16:21:29

In reply to Cam personal question? » Cam W., posted by Willow on April 27, 2002, at 10:07:57

Willow - Of course I would accept you, but I wouldn't want to step on Kazoo's toes.

Since both of us are Canadian (even though you are "Eastern Canadian") there would not be the problems of visas and such. The only problem that I can see is the East/West thing. As you know, mixed marriages are hard at the best of times.

Love Cam

 

Cam you're here!!! » Cam W.

Posted by judy1 on April 27, 2002, at 16:31:52

In reply to Re: Cam personal question? » Willow, posted by Cam W. on April 27, 2002, at 16:21:29

I think of you often and remember all the great advice you've give me over the years and hope you're doing well- take care- Judy

 

Cam: Ditto what Judy1 said! Welcome. (nm)

Posted by Shar on April 28, 2002, at 15:04:12

In reply to Cam you're here!!! » Cam W., posted by judy1 on April 27, 2002, at 16:31:52

 

Thanks Guys!

Posted by Cam W. on April 28, 2002, at 19:10:39

In reply to Cam: Ditto what Judy1 said! Welcome. (nm), posted by Shar on April 28, 2002, at 15:04:12

I have been absent from my computer for the last few weeks. I am working 50 minutes out of town and doing 3 twelve hour shift in a row (it should decrease to 2 from here on in). Instead of driving home I have been spending the nights inbetween shifts at a motel. Therefore, no internet.

Besides, my mood has been incredibly low lately. My pdoc just added Wellbutrin to my regimen last week, so I am now having fun with the start-up side effects. The low energy and fuzzy head have made me feel "blah!" (good scientific term).

Also, my psychologist and pdoc have ganged up on me, and I am now not allowed to do anymore mental health research until I get my "headspace" figured out. I have agreed to this as over the past few years my research has turned into an ugly obsession. I can see that now.

I have come to the realization that I do not have to be the best at everything I do; information and knowledge are not wisdom. I am actually not supposed to be reading nor posting here. People will survive without me.

I am trying to turn my energy toward my family. I have been doing more "helper dad" sessions with my daughter's class. It is fun and the kids seem to like me (except they blabbed on me when I kissed one of the girls' moms in the hallway - long story, but innocent - it was the first thing the Grade 1s told Patti when she went with them for a field trip). Patti (my wife) and I even had a date last night.

I think I just need to figure out what I want in my life. I have to overcome my fear of success (I always seem to sabotage any attempt - eg. the gig at the Mental Health Clinic). It seems that I am afraid of being happy (another long story).

Anyway, I have been away for awhile; so, anything happening here? (ROTFLMAO)

Take care everyone, and I will sneak a look in every now and then. Love Cam

 

Re: Thanks Guys!/// Cam

Posted by Phil on April 28, 2002, at 19:43:38

In reply to Thanks Guys!, posted by Cam W. on April 28, 2002, at 19:10:39

Was the babble board a recommendation by your doc, too?
You kinda wizzed by that kissing thing, any good details?
Cam, I'm sorry you are having a rough go of it and I wish for you all the best in life. I'm sure, like everyone on the planet, you're no saint. But you are a really intelligent giving person and there's a whole lot of people here that are very fond of you and they respect you.

Do what you gotta do, Cam. I hate to see you suffer but you are going thru the process and I have a tremendous amount of respect for you.
May we all find serenity in a crazy world.

See ya, friend.

Vaya con Dios

 

Re: Thanks Guys! » Cam W.

Posted by judy1 on April 29, 2002, at 2:39:27

In reply to Thanks Guys!, posted by Cam W. on April 28, 2002, at 19:10:39

I know it must be hard to be a type A perfectionist guy (just guessing, Cam ;-) but I'm glad you're devoting time to take care of yourself and your family and realize what's truly important. It was wonderful that you took the time to post and I hope you feel better soon. Take care, Judy

 

Good to hear your voice again » Cam W.

Posted by Chris A. on April 30, 2002, at 17:48:43

In reply to Thanks Guys!, posted by Cam W. on April 28, 2002, at 19:10:39

Dear Cam,

You gave a lot of yourself here. I hope you find the well being you're looking for. At the end of your life you're not going to wish you had spent more time at PB, but more time with your family. They deserve it.

Blessings,

Chris A.


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