![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 11 to 35 of 44. Go back in thread:
Posted by Bob on December 5, 1999, at 21:02:35
In reply to Re: Perhaps many have thought of the same question:, posted by Adam on December 5, 1999, at 17:38:50
First of all, months back someone posted a URL for a site that discussed the use of ginko in this situation. Luckily, I bookmarked that page ... here again is the URL:
http://www.navicom.com/~patty/eng/ging.htm
Here in NYC, we got ginko trees all over the place and the last few months they've been dropping their "seeds" all over. Damn, should have grabbed some a brewed up my own, er, snake oil (pardon, again, the vernacularisms). [The reason why NYC has so many Asian trees is that they are the cockroach of the tree world. Haven't changed much in over 200 million years and they're so hard to kill off they'd probably survive a nuclear attack.]
I seem to recall another site with a broader range of suggestions. Just my luck, it's probably this site ... sorry, Dr. B, but Babble takes up so much of my on-line time allotment I hardly ever get the chance to look at the rest of your site that often!
Anyway, back to Viagra.
So it may work on the mechanical aspects. If it worked on libido (my dictionary calls it the sexual urge or instinct), then "desire" shouldn't be a problem either. So, the question remains (for us men, that is ... the women out there in the audience who've had experience with this med might enlighten us on the purported mechanism for your gender), does viagra do more than prime the pump?
Just remember, I haven't seen the inside of a biology class since 1978 and, being trained primarily as a physical scientist, avoided that icky living studies stuff like the plague.
How does aspirin work? You swallow the pills, it gets drawn into your bloodstream, and it gets pumped all over your body, not just to your head. So, there's nothing special about it -- no nanoprobe "Fantastic Voyage" submarine that's going to deliver the whole dose to your headache, right?
So, same would hold true for Viagra, wouldn't it? Now, is the tissue of the penis so specialized that it and only it will respond to the effect of Viagra, dialating capillaries or whatever winds up happening? Or would other tissues wind up being susceptible to the same effect? That sounds painful!
Or does Viagra work by, um, massaging that part of the nervous system responsible for arousal and kick it into overdrive?
No answers here ... I'm just speculating....
Bob
Posted by Phil on December 5, 1999, at 21:15:51
In reply to Now think about this for a minute, posted by Bob on December 5, 1999, at 21:02:35
> I'm laughing at your's and Adams posts!!
Posted by Bob on December 5, 1999, at 21:24:31
In reply to Re: Now think - I can't, posted by Phil on December 5, 1999, at 21:15:51
> > I'm laughing at your's and Adams posts!!
... and I have the greatest respect for al those health care professionals who can keep from getting those 7th-grade giggles and remain professional, all while still being able to have a sex life at home.
Every time I think about Viagra the name Buck Turgidson comes to mind, then all the other names in Dr. Strangelove, and I've lost it from that point forward....
Bob
Posted by Cindy on December 5, 1999, at 21:35:08
In reply to Re: Now think - I can't, posted by Bob on December 5, 1999, at 21:24:31
> > > I'm laughing at your's and Adams posts!!
>
> ... and I have the greatest respect for al those health care professionals who can keep from getting those 7th-grade giggles and remain professional, all while still being able to have a sex life at home.
>
> Every time I think about Viagra the name Buck Turgidson comes to mind, then all the other names in Dr. Strangelove, and I've lost it from that point forward....
>
> BobGuys, I've been LOL at your posts! Seriously, thinking about sex and wanting to feel good (masturbation included) is a reasonable way to combat depression, as well as a sign of becoming less depressed!--Cindy
Posted by Noa on December 6, 1999, at 7:39:49
In reply to Re: Now think - I can't, posted by Cindy on December 5, 1999, at 21:35:08
Definitely been a taboo subject for me, haven't talked about it with my pdoc since the very begining of all this pharaceutical treatment. And like many of you said, it would be a whole lot easier talking about it if I had a partner. Why is the idea of enjoying the equipment we are born with so difficult for us to discuss? I think it is even more difficult for women.
There is something poignant about the idea that all of us suffering under the oppressive burden of depression finally find relief, only to have to sacrifice sexual enjoyment. It seems cruel.
Posted by doug on December 6, 1999, at 17:26:35
In reply to Re: Perhaps many have thought of the same question:, posted by Adam on December 5, 1999, at 17:38:50
> > If the issue is amount of time it takes to resolution this may be an issue by yourself but if with another no one will mind !
You are right if the issue was that it only takes longer. In most cases that would be better for everyone involved. Unfortunately that isn't really the issue the issue with anorgasmia. The bummer is NO resolution at all ( i.e. - no orgasm ), and until it happens to you, I don't think you can completely understand how frustrating it is to you. Believe it or not anorgasmia (just speaking from my experience) is also frustrating to the partner (in my case my girlfriend). She took pleasure in
the fact that I achieved orgasm with her (she had made me feel the ultimate pleasure), and it made her feel even better.
Posted by Cindy on December 6, 1999, at 21:20:10
In reply to Re: Perhaps many have thought of the same question:, posted by doug on December 6, 1999, at 17:26:35
> > > If the issue is amount of time it takes to resolution this may be an issue by yourself but if with another no one will mind !
>
> You are right if the issue was that it only takes longer. In most cases that would be better for everyone involved. Unfortunately that isn't really the issue the issue with anorgasmia. The bummer is NO resolution at all ( i.e. - no orgasm ), and until it happens to you, I don't think you can completely understand how frustrating it is to you. Believe it or not anorgasmia (just speaking from my experience) is also frustrating to the partner (in my case my girlfriend). She took pleasure in
> the fact that I achieved orgasm with her (she had made me feel the ultimate pleasure), and it made her feel even better.Doug, I agree that anorgasmia is a true bummer (once I tried for 4 hours, on Luvox, with no results even by myself!). My partner was equally bummed because he too takes pleasure in making me feel wonderful, so the anorgasmia affects two people, not just one, with frustration and sadness.--Cindy
Posted by Adam on December 7, 1999, at 1:41:55
In reply to Re: Now think - I can't, posted by Bob on December 5, 1999, at 21:24:31
Bob,
I don't doubt that Viagra helps some with SSRI anorgasmia. Some controlled studies have
demonstrated as much. I can't figure it out, though. This whole atavistic caveman
thing is very interesting. I used to work in a lab that studied protein kinase C, and
when I first heard about sildenafil, I imagined inhibition of cGMP metabolism could
affect all kinds of things. I understand now the enzyme it affects is found primarily
in smooth muscle, but not exclusively. And anyway, these second messengers can diffuse.
In the end, who knows what Viagra is doing?Unfortunately, not much for me.
> > > I'm laughing at your's and Adams posts!!
>
> ... and I have the greatest respect for al those health care professionals who can keep from getting those 7th-grade giggles and remain professional, all while still being able to have a sex life at home.
>
> Every time I think about Viagra the name Buck Turgidson comes to mind, then all the other names in Dr. Strangelove, and I've lost it from that point forward....
>
> Bob
Posted by Bob on December 12, 1999, at 19:45:05
In reply to How I learned to stop worrying and love the pill.., posted by Adam on December 7, 1999, at 1:41:55
> I don't doubt that Viagra helps some with SSRI anorgasmia....
Now, the thing that I *haven't* said is that while it has helped get my inner caveman out of his cave, it truly did nothing for those aspects of making love with someone you care for that require more desire and romance than grunt-urge. The body was quite willing, but I was still emotionally detached from the experience ... which truly horrified me and has scared me off from using the stuff ever since. No matter -- my partner still wants me to use the stuff because it pleases her just fine.
Doug, Cindy: hate to put it this way, but I'm sure you understand when I say you're lucky to have partners who are as bothered by and concerned about your anorgasmia as you are.
Bob
Posted by Adam on December 13, 1999, at 0:14:02
In reply to Re: How I learned to stop worrying and love the pill.., posted by Bob on December 12, 1999, at 19:45:05
Bob,
I'm not even going to try to play Dr. Sex here (no pun anywhere inteneded), but there are
some things about your description of Viagra that still puzzle me. I never used it for
sex with another person, but it's my understanding that you take the pill 1/2 to one hour
before relations. I guess that ought to give plenty of time beforehand to, y'know, get
ready before the drug kicks in. It seems like there would be plenty of time to be tender
and affectionate. And then there's all the post-coital cuddling, etc. that give ample
opportunity to express deep emotion. I've seen people in movies gaze into one another's
eyes and weep for joy while making love, etc., but the reality of the actual act seems
less romantic and a little more carnal. Of course, I've never felt detached emotionally
with someone I cared for, and I agree I would find that disturbing too. But I can't see
how a bit of grunt urge isn't normal and appropriate. You know, lust? I've never felt
insulted by getting, you know, attacked.
> > I don't doubt that Viagra helps some with SSRI anorgasmia....
>
> Now, the thing that I *haven't* said is that while it has helped get my inner caveman out of his cave, it truly did nothing for those aspects of making love with someone you care for that require more desire and romance than grunt-urge. The body was quite willing, but I was still emotionally detached from the experience ... which truly horrified me and has scared me off from using the stuff ever since. No matter -- my partner still wants me to use the stuff because it pleases her just fine.
>
> Doug, Cindy: hate to put it this way, but I'm sure you understand when I say you're lucky to have partners who are as bothered by and concerned about your anorgasmia as you are.
>
> Bob
Posted by Adam on December 13, 1999, at 9:19:03
In reply to Re: How I learned to stop worrying and love the pill.., posted by Adam on December 13, 1999, at 0:14:02
I apologize for using "you know" all the time with this subject.It has a certain "nudge-nudge, wink-wink" quality to it when read that is really
kind of puerile. I'll refrain.
Posted by Elizabeth on December 13, 1999, at 12:37:37
In reply to Re: How I learned to stop worrying and love the pill.., posted by Adam on December 13, 1999, at 9:19:03
Hey guys, "the pill" refers to something altogether different from Viagra. (In fact, a joke goes that said Pill works by making one disinterested in sex.)
Posted by Adam on December 13, 1999, at 13:15:28
In reply to Re: How I learned to stop worrying and love the pill.., posted by Elizabeth on December 13, 1999, at 12:37:37
I'm sorry. It was an attempt to work a monosylabic word into "Dr. Strangelove's" subtitle. I have heard Viagra
referred to as "the pill" however, perhaps an ironic juxtaposition to birth control pills and their somewhat divergent
uses. No offense is meant by using "the pill", and I did not intend for that to mean birth control. I apologize
to anyone that may have offended, if it did. I don't wish to be insensitive.> Hey guys, "the pill" refers to something altogether different from Viagra. (In fact, a joke goes that said Pill works by making one disinterested in sex.)
Posted by Bob on December 13, 1999, at 16:14:02
In reply to Re: How I learned to stop worrying and love the pill.., posted by Adam on December 13, 1999, at 13:15:28
Okay, how about instead of just "the pill" or even "the Pill", we call it (when being irreverent) "the V Pill" ... not to be confused with the "V Chip", the intended purpose of which is quite the opposite of the V Pill.
As for lust -- sure, that's great, too! But when I used the V Pill and gave into what my lust (out-of-)control center was telling me to do, the last thing I expected was for my mind, my heart, to not just stay out of the process ... part of me wanted to jump out of my body and run away. The majority of me was just too confused to make any change in the situation at all. Obviously, there's some serious psychological issues I need to deal with here, and I guess that was my point. If the anorgasmia is related to meds, then maybe the V Pill can get that love engine cooking enough to pull the rest you along for the ride. On the other hand, if you have some psychological issue confounded with the pharmaceutical issue, caveman (or cavewoman) lust may not be enough to get you through.
Bob
Posted by Elizabeth on December 13, 1999, at 21:16:21
In reply to Re: How I learned to stop worrying and love the pill.., posted by Adam on December 13, 1999, at 13:15:28
> I'm sorry. It was an attempt to work a monosylabic word into "Dr. Strangelove's" subtitle. I have heard Viagra
> referred to as "the pill" however, perhaps an ironic juxtaposition to birth control pills and their somewhat divergent
> uses. No offense is meant by using "the pill", and I did not intend for that to mean birth control. I apologize
> to anyone that may have offended, if it did. I don't wish to be insensitive.You're worse than insensitive! You don't get my jokes!
:) :) :)
(Yeah, I got the _Dr. Strangelove_ reference. "The pill, Dmitri...the birth control pill.")
Posted by Adam on December 14, 1999, at 0:46:04
In reply to Re: How I learned to stop worrying and love the pill.., posted by Elizabeth on December 13, 1999, at 21:16:21
Cool beans. Thanks...
>
> You're worse than insensitive! You don't get my jokes!
>
> :) :) :)
>
> (Yeah, I got the _Dr. Strangelove_ reference. "The pill, Dmitri...the birth control pill.")
Posted by Racer on December 17, 1999, at 14:11:49
In reply to Perhaps many have thought of the same question:, posted by anon (as if our names werent' virtually anon!) on December 5, 1999, at 4:28:45
Sorry, hoped this would catch your attention...
Mastubation is a GOOD thing, all the way around. It shows that you love yourself, and care enough about yourself to indulge in pleasure. Don't be shy with your psychiatrist, if he/she has a problem with your being worried about anorgasmia when you don't have a partner, well, that's not YOUR problem, is it? Be healthy, and love yourself.
After all, if I don't play with myself, I'll never learn what feels good, so I have to hope that my partner is smarter about these things than I am.
Now I'll get off my soapbox.
I'm having good luck with Periactin, which blocks the effects of the SSRI for a short time, and let's me scream with pleasure and delight. That said, yes, I've experienced giving up because it's just too much work for not nearly enough return. I've just about burnt out my vibrator hoping that something would finally happen. With the Periactin, I've felt shivers and quivers and then the fireworks have started just the way they should.
Good luck.
Posted by Noa on December 17, 1999, at 18:56:41
In reply to And?, posted by Racer on December 17, 1999, at 14:11:49
You know what Woody Allen said in Annie Hall..."Masturbation? Hey, Don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love!"
Thanks for speaking openly, Racer. We all have a long way to go. Consider that we live in a country where the surgeon general was fired for daring to mention the "M" word when talking about sexuality education.
Posted by arabella on May 21, 2001, at 2:11:32
In reply to And?, posted by Racer on December 17, 1999, at 14:11:49
I am definately a woman and thought anorgasmia was the term for Womens'
sexual dysfunction and the term for mens'
was erectile dysfnction or (horrors to have to say it) Impotence.
I have been on not only seratonin reuptake inhibitors but also neurontin to treat my bi-polar disorder and narcotic pain medication to treat my fibromyalgia - an entirely new thread - all of which can cause anorgasmia. I've been dealing with this on and off for like 4 years out of the 8 years I've been with the same partner with whom I am not only almost
absolutely sure I'll have an orgasm, but Multiple orgasms. Here's the hitch - it only occurs when I'm med free, take a medication "vacation" (and am not curently taking any sris, namely Zoloft which seems to have a half-life of like, a million years) for the day - not exactly
your most spontanious experience, or am on
welbutrin AND take the day off from that. The only things I can take are my Klonopin in the morning (1mg.) and very low doses of oxycontin, a "cure" that sometimes, by the time we're ready to go to bed, has caused me so much physical pain and fatigue, or put me in such a bad mood, or my sex drive has been so low one day isn't going to boost it, and therefore, I've had a very frustrating sex life which has left me angry at the pharmaceutical companies, researchers, psychiatrists and even my botfriend who is just as upset about my inability to come as I am.Sorry to ramble but all my life I have felt that sex, intimacy and the sheer other-world experience of acheiving orgasm/s with someone you love are a vital part of life. When that dries up, my level of creativity dries up, I become more moody and full of self loathing and if that isn't exactly like depression what is?
What's so good about feeling good even though your life isn't really any better - it's just that antidepressants make it easier to put the blinders on and say la, la, this isn't going to affect me the way it used to and by the way Dr., uh, I just happened to realize that nothing affects me the way it used to. I'm just in this "Zone" of being pleased with mediocrity, dissatisfaction and not living life to its fullest because, hey, where I am isn't so bad - these pills really do the trick. At lwaest I can get out of bed.
But even on all these meds, I'm so angry at the dulling of my most acute senses, the feeling of being almost almost almost there but the synapses just aren't firing and when after sex, I roll over and want to cry, what is that? Is that a good thing? That IS depression
and Doctors don't understand that it's not just about not getting off. There's a certain just getting by, deadend feeling. I don't even want to eat any more. Technically, I'm anorexic but it's out of sheer lack of appetite or interest in food rather than body image problems. So I eat to survive. The same things night after night. Cheese or peanut butter sandwiches.Is this right?
Guys, I don't know how many women out there have ever even really had an orgasm or have and can't anymore because they're on meds, but believe me it's important for women too!
and anorgasmia is like a joke to Doctors.
I've had suicidal moments because the sheer inability to share the most intimate thing a person can share with another (and talk about 30 minutes? I've masturbated for like an hour and I just get tired and want to cry because I can't even make myself come) , especially when you're in love, and still attracted and even want to have a kid - that's not funny to me.My doctor told me a long time ago that none of the antidotes really work except for Viagra but the FDA won't approve it for women. Why not?
My mind is willing, my body even gets almost there, but I just can't break through. After several months of bot having an orgasm, I'd love to take viagra, even if I grew some hair on my back ( I make animal noises anyway so
what of it?).Anyway guys, you're not alone. and I really feel bad for you. But the way the situation is treated when a woman is involved is like, well, sorry. Most doctors won't even bother to try other meds because< "well, the Zoloft works. We know it worrks and you're not feeling very good. When you're feeling better, maybe we can stop it".
Sorry Doc, but ain't gonna feel better till I come
a few times.And to whoever that/those women out there
who are having a good old time listening to this and making snide remarks,
go jerk yourselves off. You probably wouldn't know a real orgasm if it came up and bit you on the ass.
I know I'm breaking netiquite, but really, this is no laughing matter. The older I get the more I see - people shame themselves. Without any help from others.
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 21, 2001, at 18:03:05
In reply to Re: And?, posted by arabella on May 21, 2001, at 2:11:32
> My doctor told me a long time ago that none of the antidotes really work except for Viagra but the FDA won't approve it for women.
Just because the FDA won't let it be marketed for women doesn't mean it can't be prescribed for them...
> And to whoever that/those women out there
> who are having a good old time listening to this and making snide remarks,
> go jerk yourselves off. You probably wouldn't know a real orgasm if it came up and bit you on the ass.
> I know I'm breaking netiquite, but really, this is no laughing matter.I know it's rough, but it's still important to be civil here. Thanks,
Bob
PS: FYI, there's a section in the FAQ on civility:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding this, if not redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration, may be deleted.
Posted by arabella on May 22, 2001, at 0:21:08
In reply to Re: How I learned to stop worrying and love the pill.., posted by Bob on December 12, 1999, at 19:45:05
I do apologize for that last part of my posting.
I really get carried away sometimes.
But I have to say, eperienceing any type of sexual dysfunction especially when it's from
meds "You have to take" is extremely difficult to deal with and I'm not sure women are always included in the equasion. Yeah, we're advertised as the partner the impotent male wants to please but when is a females inability to climax made an issue. I never see
anything on t.v. - not that I watch it a lot, but I have seen those viagra and natural potency formulas advertised a lot when I do watch.Do we ever see images of a sad woman, a woman kicking the side of a tree, tearing her hair out from the frustration, feeling like a failure, like part of your life has been taken away from you (and its a big old chunk for me)
because she can't climax? MY partner isn't happy about it. I used to lie - say It was wonderful. Now, I'm almost too truthfull.
The last time we made love we were in that
post-coital haze still and I admitted that it was really great, (which it still can be sans climax, but not all the TIME) and I had those flutters, like tiny climaxes beginning, beginning and then just dying on me. Now that was a special moment. I felt so bad about what I said - it was like not only reporting on my responses to
my boyfirend, but I'm sure it also sounded
like a selfish commentary on how we did translating into how HE did. Sometimes he feels like I do when I let it get to me : "why bother? I can't please her, it's supposed to be
special, and she ends up frustrated which she'll ultimately take out on me."And I do. I feel so deprived, like part of a limb has been cut off. I'm sorry, but sex is important to women too. We're not all just vessals. a lot of us really want to participate,
have orgasms, not just moan and shout "you're the best". There is someting about the
complete release, shooting star feeling of
the experience, I understand why the French call it "The little death".It's so wierd. my mother thinks I'm a nymphomaniac simply because I really enjoy sex. It's a generation gap thing or something.
She wasn't particularly fond of it and as a seventy year old widow, she has had no desire to get into a relationship with a man
for the past 12 years "because there are all thse older men out there taking that Viagra
and that's all they want."Anyway. It is rough. It's rough when I want to
break up with my partner off 8 years because we're both so unhappy. There are other isssues but this one has a red flag next to it.It's rough when I go out and compulsively spend money I don't have or blow up at
a complete stranger every once in a while
especially at the health food store when the service is lousy and in there are 3 shelves devoted to herbal and vitamin formulas
to increase male potencey and "stamina" and sex drive and like half a shelf made up mostly of soy products to help women with their
periods or menopausal symptoms.It's rough when I stay up half tthe night after making love because I'm still unsatisfied and
my partner is asleep and I get up and read or write just to push the feelings months of this
have produced - a plethora of feelings, too numerous to name. And when they're that numerous, they're hard to untangle and we carry the threads with us everywhere we go.So how can these antidepressants be said to be "working" when the side effects are so devastating?
It isn't fair.Can my doctor really prescribe viagra for me?
would that be bending the rules - or even breaking them? He once told me he couldn't prescribe it precisely because it wasn't FDA approved for women.I'm seeing him at 11:00 so I'd better get some sleep. It was good to read all the comments
and feel the sensitivity in the mean's postings.
It's good to know there are men out there who are unhappy with the sexual side effects of certain drugs because they really want to make love - not just be able to "perform".God. I tried getting myself off tonight (last night now) for a good Hour because I was almost sure it would happen - I kept getting that feeling, you know, so close. Like if I could just make it happen ,more often like, practice, see, I'd be able to achieve orrgasms with my partner. But no go. I finally gave up. And there were a lot of other things I could have been doing. But was it a waste? No. Any stimulation that increases my SensiTivitty, that starts the
brain at least trying to connect with the body and free up that block is worth feeling kind of foolish for.Boy am I going to be insistant when I see my doctor tommorrow. I just can't make these kinds of trade offs anymore. I'm 40 years old, still youthful and in good shape (despite my chronic pain condition ) and even after 8 +
years I still love sex with my partner, still find him incredibly attractive and still have those cravings, get "you know" - "randy" is the most delicate way I can think of saying it right now - though threre have been times when my sex drive was non-existant.I don't want to wait any longer. Why don't the peeople who come up with these drugs hear our cries? Men AND woman need a healthy
sense off thier own sexuality. Sexual dysfunction distorts that and in doing so, distorts other parts the individuals psyche,
physicality and ultimately personality and overall mental health.Tirade over. I hope I didn't offend.
E. (arabella)
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 22, 2001, at 7:32:43
In reply to Sincere apologies. It IS rough., posted by arabella on May 22, 2001, at 0:21:08
> Can my doctor really prescribe viagra for me?
> would that be bending the rules - or even breaking them? He once told me he couldn't prescribe it precisely because it wasn't FDA approved for women.He can. It's not even bending the rules. The FDA controls marketing, not prescribing. Whether it makes sense for you is another issue, of course...
Bob
Posted by shelliR on May 22, 2001, at 12:12:29
In reply to Re: viagra for women, posted by Dr. Bob on May 22, 2001, at 7:32:43
This is something I read a long time agao on the About Depression Forum from Netscape. I want to see if the link works. If not, I'll copy the article in the next post.
http://depression.about.com/health/depression/library/weekly/aa101899.htm
Posted by sl on May 23, 2001, at 7:43:54
In reply to Sincere apologies. It IS rough., posted by arabella on May 22, 2001, at 0:21:08
Umm....two questions for you...
#1: Is it the same thing if you can't get off WITH your partner but you can with a vibrator? I guess I always just attributed it to anxiety, but now I'm not so sure...
#2: Have you tried Yohimbe? I heard good things, you just have to restrict your diet. :/
sl
Posted by grapebubblegum on May 23, 2001, at 12:06:59
In reply to Sincere apologies. It IS rough., posted by arabella on May 22, 2001, at 0:21:08
I hear everything that every one of you are saying. I tried to broach this admittedly somewhat embarrassing subject in another thread but it died out fast. The only thing I don't agree to was someone's statement along the lines of "if it just means that you take longer then that should just make things better anyway."
Let's start over (forgetting women of past generations who for whatever social reasons intervened in their marriages didn't enjoy sex) and remember that women and men are almost completely analogous, physically and orgasmically, when it comes to their most private regions. Sure, the sizes and exact placement of tissue is different but we are really made of the same stuff just proportioned and creatively arranged a little differently. We even share the same hormones, just in different amounts. I'm sure that our emotions in the sexual arena are very similar with some variations that create differences in the nature (but not necessarily the AMOUNT of our sexual drives, etc...)
But let us also forget the oversimplified stereotypes that men are too quick and any woman would be happy with a partner who takes "a lot longer"; I can say from experience that some men, for whatever reason, take too long, and if you think an hour of whacking sounds painful, imagine whether a female would really enjoy an hour of attempting to reach orgasm from her male partner.
Let's also forget the stereotype that "brilliant" authors like John Gray portray when they say that women need an hour of direct stimulation before they can achieve orgasm. Ok, I am being a little mean here, but like the previous posters, I am tired of the misinformation and stereotyping that goes on out there, as well as the inequity in addressing sexual issues for men and for women (i.e., thinking male orgasms are every man's god-given right but that female orgasms are a nice bonus that they can easily live without)
Let's get real here. Both partners in a loving sexual encounter would like to experience the culmination of the encounter and both would like their partner to experience that, too. A caring partner would be concerned at the lack of ability on the part of themselves OR their partner to achieve that.
Now... To go over some of the earlier subjects discussed: I also have trouble seeing how Viagra (an erection facilitator if I understand it correctly) could resolve anorgasmia.
I guess my dose of SSRI's has never been that high or I am not quite as affected by it as some of the previous posters but the way I have explained it to my doctor (yes, it was embarrassing but she didn't press me for embarrassing details so I put it this way) is that I have experienced anorgasmia with a partner but not "by myself," but the "by myself" requires a lot more effort than I would like to expend in front of a partner or that I would ask a partner to expend, if you know what I mean. Meaning that the anorgasmia with a partner is relative to the fact that I have a limit to how much I am willing to share with a partner.. while on my own, I have gone the extra mile just to get the physical release that women (yes, really just like men, if they are healthy sexuality-wise) need as much as men do.
With a partner, though, when I have not taken SSRI's, I have been EASILY, (quickly, and with no manual stimulation required) and multi-orgasmic, so I know it is most definitely a medication side-effect issue. Therefore, my point is that the SSRI's just basically raise, to varying degrees from person to person, your orgasm threshhold. I have also found (by the "do-it-myself" method) that the quality of orgasms is not as nice. In some senses, an orgasm is an orgasm, but perhaps because it takes so much work and senses are dulled somewhat by SSRI's, it just ain't the same.
For this reason, and I am not faulting those of you who have found pharmaceutical shortcuts around SSRI-induced sexual dysfunction, because whatever works for you and makes you happy is what you should do,
I am SO IRKED by having a hampered sex life, since I have a new and wonderful fiancee, that I am ready to hang up SSRIs for good and do whatever it takes to find anything that helps me ward off the panic attacks that are my primary psychological complaint, if I need medication at all.
Currenly I'm ramping down the Paxil and taking very small amounts of Clonazepam (12.5 mg three times a day, believe it or not, has a strong beneficial effect on me). I can tell you that it took TWO DAYS ONLY of cutting my Paxil in half from 20 mg to 10 mg per day to restore my orgasmic function with my partner. Just adding in my $.02 worth. Sorry it was so long; looks more like $2.00 worth. :o/
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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