Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 4699

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Re: Am I gay?/ DR. BOB??

Posted by v on April 12, 1999, at 6:03:21

In reply to Re: Am I gay?, posted by Cheryl on April 11, 1999, at 21:16:08

a response like this is offensive and should not be tolerated in this forum... if we are going to police abuse here by blocking people like harry, then religious abuse should be right up at the top of the list!!

where do you draw the line at what is considered offensive? part of my point, in fact, when i asked that harry not be blocked.

truthfully, we all "should" be allowed our voices... but if harry is considered "dangerous" to people's well-being, then posts like this are downright destructive

cheryl has every right to her beliefs, but i think those rights stop when she attempts to pass them to others

respectfully,
v

> No, you are NOT gay! I would say you are in rebellion against what you know is right. Humans were created in the image of God. God is not gay. In fact, the bible says that homosexuality is an abomination. He would not create people to be an abomination to himself. Has anyone ever talked with you about accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior? He can deliever you from these kinds of thoughts and restore you to healthy thinking. He died for all of our sins! We don't have to be perfect, but when we have a personal relationship with him, he puts a desire in our hearts to do the right thing. You are a precious daughter of the creator - he loves you and wants to have a relationship with you. I'm praying for you, Ashley. (I love your name!)

 

Re: Right to Speak

Posted by Elaine on April 12, 1999, at 8:12:15

In reply to Re: Am I gay?/ DR. BOB??, posted by v on April 12, 1999, at 6:03:21

I think there is a difference between being offended by someone trying to pass their beliefs on and someone who is putting someone else down. I know religious issues can be a sensitive area, but I think the issue here is WHAT is expressed versus HOW it is expressed. Cheryl has expressed what she believes (which is, after all, another form of an opinion) without condemning. Harry was abusive in the MANNER in which he expressed his opinions. Everyone who has commente in the earlier thread agrees that harry has a right to his opinion - but not to express it in a manner that is abusive to others. Do you really think calling someone an "ignoramous" entitles someone to keep posting? I think the "line" is being harmful to others. Cheryl is trying to help. Why can't expressing religious beliefs be considered in the category of suggesting something you think would help someone? Like medication, or meditating, or EMDR. Again, it was the HOW (degradation and disrespect for others) not the WHAT (content) that set harry apart from everyone else. Please look at Dr. Bob's intro to this site that says "Please be civil." Harry was unquestionably not. I hope you can see the difference between the postings of these two individuals. One is entitled to express what one believes as long as it is done in a manner not harmful to others. Cheryl was being passionate, not degrading. Everyone has the freedom to accept or reject any suggestion, but not to be hurt in the reading of it.

 

Re: Am I gay?

Posted by Elizabeth on April 12, 1999, at 9:59:08

In reply to Am I gay?, posted by Ashley Hendrickson on April 11, 1999, at 15:26:33

Ashley,

You might be, or you might not. A lot of people who are primarily heterosexual develop an interest in someone of their own gender at some point in life. I met a number of people in high school and college (I graduated a couple years ago) who "came out" as gay or bisexual, but I also met people who experimented with homosexuality and later decided they were straight. I think that only time will tell. Either way, there's nothing wrong or unreal about what you're feeling.

I'd be more concerned about the effects this will have on your relationship with your boyfriend and your relationship with your female friend than on its long-term implications about your sexuality. Does she (your friend) know you feel this way, and is she attracted to women?

By the way, I'm sorry that this Cheryl person decided to take this opportunity to mouth off about her religious beliefs. Personally, I think that only *your* religious or spiritual beliefs apply to you, so you don't need to be concerned about hers. If you share Cheryl's beliefs, though, it could be a problem for you if it turns out that you are gay or bisexual. I met a guy in group therapy once who was gay but had trouble coming to terms with it for cultural reasons. He had a lot of emotional problems that I think resulted from not being able to accept himself. If you're in this kind of situation, where you think you might be gay but you've been taught that it's "wrong," it probably would be a good idea for you to get counseling to try and sort things out and prevent possible future problems with your self-image and relationships.

 

Re: Am I gay?

Posted by Cindy on April 12, 1999, at 10:38:15

In reply to Re: Am I gay?, posted by Elizabeth on April 12, 1999, at 9:59:08


It would be so nice if we could all learn to SHARE our experiences and not give advice or attempt to define someone else's experience. I think sharing would be the best we can strive for. Ashley, I have found that during confusing or conflicting times, it has helped me to find a counselor who can help me explore these feelings. I wish you the best.

> Ashley,


> You might be, or you might not. A lot of people who are primarily heterosexual develop an interest in someone of their own gender at some point in life. I met a number of people in high school and college (I graduated a couple years ago) who "came out" as gay or bisexual, but I also met people who experimented with homosexuality and later decided they were straight. I think that only time will tell. Either way, there's nothing wrong or unreal about what you're feeling.
>
> I'd be more concerned about the effects this will have on your relationship with your boyfriend and your relationship with your female friend than on its long-term implications about your sexuality. Does she (your friend) know you feel this way, and is she attracted to women?
>
> By the way, I'm sorry that this Cheryl person decided to take this opportunity to mouth off about her religious beliefs. Personally, I think that only *your* religious or spiritual beliefs apply to you, so you don't need to be concerned about hers. If you share Cheryl's beliefs, though, it could be a problem for you if it turns out that you are gay or bisexual. I met a guy in group therapy once who was gay but had trouble coming to terms with it for cultural reasons. He had a lot of emotional problems that I think resulted from not being able to accept himself. If you're in this kind of situation, where you think you might be gay but you've been taught that it's "wrong," it probably would be a good idea for you to get counseling to try and sort things out and prevent possible future problems with your self-image and relationships.

 

Re: Am I gay?

Posted by v on April 12, 1999, at 17:21:16

In reply to Am I gay?, posted by Ashley Hendrickson on April 11, 1999, at 15:26:33

ashley,

i would like to add that you needn't BE one or the other... that the ability to love a person sometimes isn't defined by their gender

that you love at all is a good thing... :)

i don't think you should have to take sides...

perhaps it's like a continuum... and most people are capable of falling somewhere in the middle or even being in a different place at a different time in their lives

that said, i would like to apologize for not responding to your post sooner but cheryl's response so upset me in the light of recent goings on that i reacted to that instead of to your plea... again, i am sorry - i never meant to slight your confusion or your pain

certainly it would help if you had an openminded professional you trusted to talk to... i don't know where you live, but many areas have gay hotlines (among others) for people experiencing your dilemma and no, you needn't be identified as gay to use them

i agree with others that this forum should be used to help support people in finding their own way - not directing them from some personal agenda

i wish you the best on your journey...

v


> I've been going out with this guy for about 5 months now but I have a best friend that I am REALLY attracted to. She has been my best friend for almost 3 years now and I am very physically attracted to her. Not only physically but in every other way. I always think about her in bed. What should I do? Should I tell my boyfriend that I feel this way? Should I let her know that I feel this way? What should I do? Help me please.

 

Re: Right to Speak

Posted by v on April 12, 1999, at 17:32:11

In reply to Re: Right to Speak, posted by Elaine on April 12, 1999, at 8:12:15

no, but she refers to gay people as an abomination and holds the wrath of god up to scare her half to death

you may not agree with me, but i find that abusive

many people become passionate here and do sometimes lose their tempers... i'm not saying that it was right for harry to call anyone names but really, he certainly isn't the only one to do so and has ALSO contributed often in a postive way to many people

we don't have to like everyone here... we don't have to agree... we don't have to read their posts...

i'm not saying cheryl should be blocked for her point of view either... and you know how i feel about it... :)

i do think the situation could have been handled differently, that's all... i think harry got backed into a corner and punished when he came out fighting...

regards,
v

> I think there is a difference between being offended by someone trying to pass their beliefs on and someone who is putting someone else down. I know religious issues can be a sensitive area, but I think the issue here is WHAT is expressed versus HOW it is expressed. Cheryl has expressed what she believes (which is, after all, another form of an opinion) without condemning. Harry was abusive in the MANNER in which he expressed his opinions. Everyone who has commente in the earlier thread agrees that harry has a right to his opinion - but not to express it in a manner that is abusive to others. Do you really think calling someone an "ignoramous" entitles someone to keep posting? I think the "line" is being harmful to others. Cheryl is trying to help. Why can't expressing religious beliefs be considered in the category of suggesting something you think would help someone? Like medication, or meditating, or EMDR. Again, it was the HOW (degradation and disrespect for others) not the WHAT (content) that set harry apart from everyone else. Please look at Dr. Bob's intro to this site that says "Please be civil." Harry was unquestionably not. I hope you can see the difference between the postings of these two individuals. One is entitled to express what one believes as long as it is done in a manner not harmful to others. Cheryl was being passionate, not degrading. Everyone has the freedom to accept or reject any suggestion, but not to be hurt in the reading of it.

 

Re: Right to Speak

Posted by Elaine on April 12, 1999, at 22:19:11

In reply to Re: Right to Speak, posted by v on April 12, 1999, at 17:32:11

I had to go back and read Cheryl's post, I thought I read it wrong. Excuse me, but she says THE BIBLE SAYS homosexuality is an abomination. I haven't checked out whether that's the exact word or whether a similar word was used, but she's pointing out how homosexuality is viewed in the Bible. A fact, I would go so far to say. Harry would be more likely to have said "YOU are an abomination." Maybe the difference is too subtle for some people, but it's there.

Harry may have come out fighting, but he had time to think on his computer. He never showed remorse for anything he said (in fact, stood on every word), no matter how hurtful. I think the name calling and lack of remorse are really what bothered me. I hope he finds the help he needs and is allowed to come back when he can be civil in all threads. I don't want to keep going on about harry, though. The consensus seems to be that harry is sick and needs help and everyone wishes him well, but he can't be trusted right now not to express himself in a manner that causes harm to already hurting people. Can we agree on that much and let it go?

 

Re: An answer Ashley's orig. request & a :-) to v.

Posted by Shelley in Seattle on April 12, 1999, at 23:33:58

In reply to Re: Right to Speak, posted by Elaine on April 12, 1999, at 22:19:11

Hi, Ashley. I'll save my response for the tangents that have been started here in my next message. For now, I just wanted share some of my thoughts from my own life. And, please take it as such ... Only you can figure out what is best for you :-)

I don't remember you stating your age, but if you are a young person, it is entirely normal and healthy to explore any aspect of sexuality that interests you. That may entail only thinking or reading about new and different things, or actually exploring. It's all good.
In my opinion, formed (so far) during 3 decades of being human and studying psych (though I am not a Dr), I have come to the conclusion that sexuality is a fluid thing. No, that was not a pun intended! :-) But I don't think sexuality has strict boundaries in nature -- it seems to be a societal desire to have to choose a label to describe your sexual interests! I don't think that's fair, because we humans tend to grow and change. I think you should search your own heart first, see what kind of things come up in general. Is it a strong attraction to only your friend, or are you attracted to other women as well? Not that you have to be attracted to ALL women, just as you surely are not attracted to ALL men :-)

I agree with v. -- I think you can absolutely just love someone and not have their gender be any big deal. But only you can figure this out, and -- I hope it can be more of a lovely journey than a mad rush to pick a label for yourself. Straight, gay, bi, whatever -- none of that matters any more than the color of your eyes or the shape of your nose! You are Ashley, and that entails many different things at different times. I hope you will be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time to grow. If you have a supportive friend or family member or counselor, by all means seek them out if/when it feels right. I hope you will find someone supportive and non-judgmental.

I have one final thought; sometimes telling friends you want to know them sexually can go either way, no matter what the genders involved! I don't think it's abnormal to feel attracted to your friend, not at all … if you do tell her, she may be feeling the same way, or sexually curious, (whatever) - and things might go well. But if you decide to tell her and she's not interested (or worse), could you handle that? I mean, I would say the same exact thing if you were considering telling a guy friend. Just take some time to figure things out, and love yourself along the way - no matter what you choose.

Best wishes, Ashley!

Shelley (shelley@earthling.net)

 

Dr Bob, can you get out your whistle again?

Posted by Shelley in Seattle on April 13, 1999, at 0:08:38

In reply to Re: Am I gay?, posted by Cheryl on April 11, 1999, at 21:16:08

Okay, deep breath …

I have been sitting here trying to answer Cheryl's response without going into a rant… It ain't easy!

Cheryl, has the right to believe whatever she wants. Religion is a touchy topic; we would get nowhere trying to discuss it in this forum ( I am as staunch an atheist as she is christian) and it's not the appropriate place to do so.

THAT IS THE POINT. Why not go to a board where that's the focus if you want to post that stuff? This is a place to talk about Psych and meds and coping. Most all of us take each other, warts and all, and just share the human experience (with the occasional exception!) It is so HARD for me to not rant right now, I am becoming inarticulate!

Dr. Bob, you have chastised others (even before Harry!) when they post something inappropriate (like when people post here trying to sell something, etc.) How is this any different? What say you? I feel that Cheryl's response was inappropriate to this forum.

I can't type any more right now or I might be banned from Psychobabble!!!!!!!

Shelley

 

Re: Dr Bob, can you get out your whistle again?

Posted by PEJ on April 13, 1999, at 6:55:40

In reply to Dr Bob, can you get out your whistle again?, posted by Shelley in Seattle on April 13, 1999, at 0:08:38

> Okay, deep breath …
>
> > Dr. Bob, you have chastised others (even before Harry!) when they post something inappropriate (like when people post here trying to sell something, etc.) How is this any different? What say you? I feel that Cheryl's response was inappropriate to this forum.
>
> I can't type any more right now or I might be banned from Psychobabble!!!!!!!
>
> Shelley

>>>Politics, sexuality, religion. Let it go
grasshoppa...Phil

 

Re: Am I gay?

Posted by saintjames on April 13, 1999, at 10:17:46

In reply to Am I gay?, posted by Ashley Hendrickson on April 11, 1999, at 15:26:33

> I've been going out with this guy for about 5 months now but I have a best friend that I am REALLY attracted to.

James here...

Well we talk about meds and mental illness on this board and since being gay is neither ( as attested by the AMA, APA, common since and others)
you might try subbing to the PFLAG-talk list serv and asking this question.


Majordomo@casti.com

In the body of the message write "subscribe pflag-talk"


 

Re: Am I gay?/ DR. BOB??

Posted by saintjames on April 13, 1999, at 10:23:09

In reply to Re: Am I gay?/ DR. BOB??, posted by v on April 12, 1999, at 6:03:21

> > No, you are NOT gay! I would say you are in rebellion against what you know is right. Humans were created in the image of God. God is not gay.

James here...

I can't attest to God's word but I do know that homosexuality happens through out the animal kindgom. Take a look at "Chandler, et. al., A seperate creation" or any zoological book.

james

 

Re: pej :-), and I agree w/St.James on both posts

Posted by Shelley in Seattle on April 13, 1999, at 11:43:18

In reply to Re: Am I gay?/ DR. BOB??, posted by saintjames on April 13, 1999, at 10:23:09

pej --

You are right! This grasshopper is going to put down the scalding cauldron :-)

Y'know, I must admit that I wrote my ranty response close to midnight, on my second 16-hour day of the week ... and I was out of Jolt! :-)

This really isn't the right forum for discussing either issue. I think the correct thing to do is what St James suggests, and advise Ashley to seek out the Pflag board or one of the many other good places like that. I also really like your 2nd response, St j-- wish I could have put it so succinctly last night :-)

Thanks, guys ...

Shelley

 

ditto & :) to shelly

Posted by v on April 13, 1999, at 17:14:05

In reply to Re: pej :-), and I agree w/St.James on both posts, posted by Shelley in Seattle on April 13, 1999, at 11:43:18

ditto what shelley said... :)

> pej --
>
> You are right! This grasshopper is going to put down the scalding cauldron :-)
>
> Y'know, I must admit that I wrote my ranty response close to midnight, on my second 16-hour day of the week ... and I was out of Jolt! :-)
>
> This really isn't the right forum for discussing either issue. I think the correct thing to do is what St James suggests, and advise Ashley to seek out the Pflag board or one of the many other good places like that. I also really like your 2nd response, St j-- wish I could have put it so succinctly last night :-)
>
> Thanks, guys ...
>
> Shelley

 

Re: Am I gay?/ DR. BOB??

Posted by Nancy on April 13, 1999, at 17:27:02

In reply to Re: Am I gay?/ DR. BOB??, posted by v on April 12, 1999, at 6:03:21

> a response like this is offensive and should not be tolerated in this forum... if we are going to police abuse here by blocking people like harry, then religious abuse should be right up at the top of the list!!
>
> where do you draw the line at what is considered offensive? part of my point, in fact, when i asked that harry not be blocked.
>
> truthfully, we all "should" be allowed our voices... but if harry is considered "dangerous" to people's well-being, then posts like this are downright destructive
>
> cheryl has every right to her beliefs, but i think those rights stop when she attempts to pass them to others
>
> respectfully,
> v
>
> > No, you are NOT gay! I would say you are in rebellion against what you know is right. Humans were created in the image of God. God is not gay. In fact, the bible says that homosexuality is an abomination. He would not create people to be an abomination to himself. Has anyone ever talked with you about accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior? He can deliever you from these kinds of thoughts and restore you to healthy thinking. He died for all of our sins! We don't have to be perfect, but when we have a personal relationship with him, he puts a desire in our hearts to do the right thing. You are a precious daughter of the creator - he loves you and wants to have a relationship with you. I'm praying for you, Ashley. (I love your name!)

LOL...perhaps, Cheryl may be interested in studying some graduate course work in physiology and neuroscience...Cheryl, do the terms and reasearch done relating to either, the enlargement of the supra chiasmic nerve or neurophysiology of homosexuality, ever get tossed around your sunday school classroom...or do we just pick on others who don't seem to have Jesus in thier lives, because of the ideas in thier minds?

Cheryl, I understand where your coming from. I believe that you were trying to help. You didn't really want to make anyone in particular afraid of her own thoughts...did you?

God Bless,
Nancy

 

"God is not gay"

Posted by paul on April 16, 1999, at 13:04:20

In reply to Re: Am I gay?/ DR. BOB??, posted by saintjames on April 13, 1999, at 10:23:09

> > > No, you are NOT gay! I would say you are in rebellion against what you know is right. Humans were created in the image of God. God is not gay.

I know this is not the right forum, but I couldn't resist. The statement "God is not gay" doesn't make any sense whatsoever. "God" is by definition not sexual as "he" or "she" has no genitalia, and does not reproduce. It amazes me how oblivious many are to the obvious reality that humans have created God in their image, complete with hair, skin color, genitalia, and sexual preferences! Please!

 

Re: "God is not gay" (humor)

Posted by Elizabeth on April 17, 1999, at 22:51:08

In reply to "God is not gay", posted by paul on April 16, 1999, at 13:04:20

This reminds me of something I heard....

"If AIDS is a punishment from God, then God must be a lesbian."

So yeah, She is gay. :-)

 

Re: Dr Bob, can you get out your whistle again?

Posted by -George on April 18, 1999, at 14:58:58

In reply to Dr Bob, can you get out your whistle again?, posted by Shelley in Seattle on April 13, 1999, at 0:08:38


>
> Dr. Bob, you have chastised others (even before Harry!) when they post something inappropriate (like when people post here trying to sell something, etc.) How is this any different? What say you? I feel that Cheryl's response was inappropriate to this forum.
>
> I can't type any more right now or I might be banned from Psychobabble!!!!!!!
>
> Shelley

Cheryl's comments indicate quite clearly that she is psychotic. Therefore, her comments are wholly (holy?) appropriate for this forum.

--George

 

Re: Dr Bob, can you get out your whistle? -George

Posted by Craig on April 19, 1999, at 0:40:58

In reply to Re: Dr Bob, can you get out your whistle again?, posted by -George on April 18, 1999, at 14:58:58


> Cheryl's comments indicate quite clearly that she is psychotic. Therefore, her comments are wholly (holy?) appropriate for this forum.
>
> --George

Hi George! I hope you'll write more often - I really enjoy your sense of humor. This was the best laugh I've had in awhile.

 

Re: Dr Bob, can you get out your whistle? -George

Posted by Nancy on April 21, 1999, at 11:17:29

In reply to Re: Dr Bob, can you get out your whistle? -George, posted by Craig on April 19, 1999, at 0:40:58

>
> > Cheryl's comments indicate quite clearly that she is psychotic. Therefore, her comments are wholly (holy?) appropriate for this forum.
> >
> > --George
>
> Hi George! I hope you'll write more often - I really enjoy your sense of humor. This was the best laugh I've had in awhile.


LOL...meee toooo :)

 

Re: Am I gay? For Cheryl

Posted by alison on April 29, 1999, at 1:48:56

In reply to Re: Am I gay?, posted by Cheryl on April 11, 1999, at 21:16:08

Cheryl
I agree with you whole-heartedly as the Lord is my Saviour and has rescued me from going off the rails. When I was having alot of trouble with depression and anxiety my thinking was not rational, I look back now and think, wow how could I have done or said that !! But the Lord was there in my time of need when I called on Him.
All I can say is God is not GAY and maybe some people should take the time to read the Bible and find out the truth!!
Alison

 

God's sexuality

Posted by paul on April 30, 1999, at 11:32:13

In reply to Re: Am I gay? For Cheryl, posted by alison on April 29, 1999, at 1:48:56

God has to this day avoided answering questions in interviews about His sexual preference, and has made many elusive and ambiguous statements about the matter. I think He probably does like girls, though. I bet it would be tough to come out to the whole world, but maybe He'll make a statement soon about it.

 

Re: "God is not gay" (humor)

Posted by fg hg on December 9, 1999, at 13:38:14

In reply to Re: "God is not gay" (humor), posted by Elizabeth on April 17, 1999, at 22:51:08

> This reminds me of something I heard....
>
> "If AIDS is a punishment from God, then God must be a lesbian."
>
> So yeah, She is gay. :-)

God is hermaphrodite, and has one drop of each race in the blood.

 

Re: God's sexuality

Posted by FgHG on December 9, 1999, at 13:43:13

In reply to God's sexuality, posted by paul on April 30, 1999, at 11:32:13

> God has to this day avoided answering questions in interviews about His sexual preference, and has made many elusive and ambiguous statements about the matter. I think He probably does like girls, though. I bet it would be tough to come out to the whole world, but maybe He'll make a statement soon about it.
God is both sexes, and has a drop of each race in the blood-FgHg.

 

Re: God's sexuality

Posted by Fghg on December 10, 1999, at 11:10:42

In reply to Re: God's sexuality, posted by FgHG on December 9, 1999, at 13:43:13

> > God has to this day avoided answering questions in interviews about His sexual preference, and has made many elusive and ambiguous statements about the matter. I think He probably does like girls, though. I bet it would be tough to come out to the whole world, but maybe He'll make a statement soon about it.
> God is both sexes, and has a drop of each race in the blood-FgHg.
God is optional. God is probably bipolar. God has a cure beyond mortal ken,and is in the DSM.God has developed some new meds that make everyone mildly hypomanic.


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