Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 14907

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Drug abuse and depression

Posted by tony on November 9, 1999, at 21:26:47

I would like to hear some real stories about drug abuse and depression from people who have actually abused drugs and also suffered from depression.

I have suffered from dysthymia, with bouts of severe depression, for 16 or 17 years. I am now 28.

I have abused marijuana for almost 11 years. It was off and on, depending on life responsibilities such as college, during the first few years. For the past 7 years, I have smoked every day, with the exception of maybe 20 or 30 days altogether. I have never been one to smoke myself into oblivion -- I am a chronic user but not a "binge smoker."
My last couple of years of college I smoked all day - before work, before class, before dates, with dates, before visiting family, etc. Since graduating and getting a "real job," I have never smoked until I am at home or with fellow smokers and have no responsibilities. I have never been in trouble with the law. I have a respectable job in the deep south, one that requires me to deal with many people in the community (police, clergy, government, society, middle class, poor, professional, lay), and I have never had any professional problem as a result of smoking.

When I finished college and started the real job, I quickly ran into this new emotion - hopelessness. I've always been down, discouraged. I've always lacked self esteem. But I used to have dreams and some sense of hope that I could realize them. I don't anymore, and that sucks.

But if I drink enough it doesn't suck so bad. I never really liked alcohol until I was 26. I would rarely drink at all, and when I did it was never more than a beer or two. During the past couple of years, I have become a heavy drinker. I now average close to a six-pack of beer a night.

I started drinking heavily because of the hopelessness. In some ways things seem better because - go figure! - I can numb myself with alcohol when I'm finished numbing myself with work. But alcohol's numbness has its costs - deeper depression, weight gain, hangovers, a frequent case of the stupids. And I'm sure the drinking makes the hopelessness worse in the long run. But the hopelessness came first.

And the weird part - the hopelessness and the drinking got much worse when I quit smoking cigarettes a year ago. (I started smoking cigarettes when I was 12, hit a pack a day by age 20, hit two packs a day by age 25).

I just started experimenting with ADs about six months ago. I had one work well, but after a couple of months it caused a severe allergic reaction. I tried another and it didn't work at all, and I just started something new.

I believe my drug abuse has always been a form of self-medication - I have treated my depression the best I could. And I must say, after my trials with ADs, and after reading many many many threads here, the side effects and downsides of my drug abuse seem to be no worse than the baggage that comes with therapy and AD treatment.

Can anyone share his or her PERSONAL experience with the relationship between substance abuse and depression?

 

FU Drug Abuse & Depression

Posted by Shaun on November 10, 1999, at 0:34:48

In reply to Drug abuse and depression, posted by tony on November 9, 1999, at 21:26:47

> I would like to hear some real stories about drug abuse and depression from people who have actually abused drugs and also suffered from depression.
>
> I have suffered from dysthymia, with bouts of severe depression, for 16 or 17 years. I am now 28.
>
> I have abused marijuana for almost 11 years. It was off and on, depending on life responsibilities such as college, during the first few years. For the past 7 years, I have smoked every day, with the exception of maybe 20 or 30 days altogether. I have never been one to smoke myself into oblivion -- I am a chronic user but not a "binge smoker."
> My last couple of years of college I smoked all day - before work, before class, before dates, with dates, before visiting family, etc. Since graduating and getting a "real job," I have never smoked until I am at home or with fellow smokers and have no responsibilities. I have never been in trouble with the law. I have a respectable job in the deep south, one that requires me to deal with many people in the community (police, clergy, government, society, middle class, poor, professional, lay), and I have never had any professional problem as a result of smoking.
>
> When I finished college and started the real job, I quickly ran into this new emotion - hopelessness. I've always been down, discouraged. I've always lacked self esteem. But I used to have dreams and some sense of hope that I could realize them. I don't anymore, and that sucks.
>
> But if I drink enough it doesn't suck so bad. I never really liked alcohol until I was 26. I would rarely drink at all, and when I did it was never more than a beer or two. During the past couple of years, I have become a heavy drinker. I now average close to a six-pack of beer a night.
>
> I started drinking heavily because of the hopelessness. In some ways things seem better because - go figure! - I can numb myself with alcohol when I'm finished numbing myself with work. But alcohol's numbness has its costs - deeper depression, weight gain, hangovers, a frequent case of the stupids. And I'm sure the drinking makes the hopelessness worse in the long run. But the hopelessness came first.
>
> And the weird part - the hopelessness and the drinking got much worse when I quit smoking cigarettes a year ago. (I started smoking cigarettes when I was 12, hit a pack a day by age 20, hit two packs a day by age 25).
>
> I just started experimenting with ADs about six months ago. I had one work well, but after a couple of months it caused a severe allergic reaction. I tried another and it didn't work at all, and I just started something new.
>
> I believe my drug abuse has always been a form of self-medication - I have treated my depression the best I could. And I must say, after my trials with ADs, and after reading many many many threads here, the side effects and downsides of my drug abuse seem to be no worse than the baggage that comes with therapy and AD treatment.
>
> Can anyone share his or her PERSONAL experience with the relationship between substance abuse and depression?


I believe I have fought with my boughts of depressions with speed. I do not know what ADs are ... can you expand. Anytime I am angry or feeling very low, I can use speed and it pulls me out of the bad feelings... also, it really helps me to get alot of tedious jobs done that I normally put off. Perhaps I am somewhat Attention Deficit. I have been doing this for about 15 years now with near to no bad effects. Except a major loss of control on time scheduling. I feel it has helped me more than hurt me... but I can tell a difference in my social capabilities. Can explain more if you like.. I also did pot for a few years.

 

Re: Drug abuse and depression

Posted by Racer on November 10, 1999, at 2:37:31

In reply to Drug abuse and depression, posted by tony on November 9, 1999, at 21:26:47

Very common to try to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol! I did a lot of speed for a long time in my late teens/early twenties, and I know that it was self medication. I also drank heavily, and took any other drug I could get my hands on. I still smoke cigarettes, and know that the only way for me to avoid taking another drug is not to be around anyone who will use them.

As for the ADs, remember that most of the people here are having problems with the drugs, with finding the right drug or combination of drugs. For the majority of people who suffer depression and take ADs, the drugs work, and they don't require this sort of support system. Either they have an offline support system, or they have other interests. Most of us here either have had extensive experience which we can share with one another, or we're still trying to find relief from the depression. There aren't a lot of us who are totally stabilized - YET. Most of us will be, whether forever more, or for a period of time remains to be seen. Still, most of us will feel better because of our treatment. At that time, either we'll stop coming by here, or we'll still come by to offer the support we've received here to newcomers.

Give the ADs another try. If nothing else, for anyone with insurance, they're cheaper than pot or booze...

 

Re: Drug abuse and depression

Posted by JohnL on November 10, 1999, at 4:23:17

In reply to Drug abuse and depression, posted by tony on November 9, 1999, at 21:26:47


In addition to my meds, I've had a lot of counseling. It became evident that my entire life has been characterized by undiagnosed depression and attempts to self-medicate. Whether it was a quart of beer every evening, chronic marijuana abuse, trips to the moon on various other drugs, or whatever, I have always subconciously been motivated to escape my unrecognized condition. Now of course it is diagnosed and recognized. Only with the benefit of hindsight can we see that depression has always been there in my life, and that there have been numerous attempts at self-medication. My cigarette habit is strongly related I believe.

Anyway, I've seen a lot of friends eventually end up in trouble with the law. Might take a year, might take a decade or two, but sooner or later everyone using street drugs will get in trouble. Just a matter of time. I decided I would rather be depressed and out of jail than depressed and in jail. At least outside of jail I can seek treatment with drugs that actually have a chance of fixing my depression and not just temporarily masking it.

 

Re: Drug abuse and depression

Posted by Bob on November 10, 1999, at 15:41:20

In reply to Re: Drug abuse and depression, posted by JohnL on November 10, 1999, at 4:23:17

Sorry, Tony, I'm off-topic here [a smoker uncle dying a nasty cancer death and an alcoholic aunt killing herself with a fifth of vodka and a bottle of sleeping pills were my "role models" here], but I have to mention two points summarizing posts here over the last few months:

1) Alcohol is a depressant. While one beer or two every once in a while doesn't seem to affect anyone who has chimed in here, chronic, heavy use of alcohol isn't going to work well with anti-depressants (ADs, Shaun).

2) (Hey Wayne R, where RU?) Naltrexone. Your condition sounds like it has Maltrexone written all over it. Used to help kick alcohol dependency, it also augments the effects of SSRIs like prozac, zoloft, paxil, celexa.

So try to treat both conditions -- the self-medicating and the depression. Like Racer said, no HMO is going to buy you beer (and I doubt a flex spedning account will cover self-meds as well).
Bob

 

Re: Drug abuse and depression

Posted by [name removed] on November 10, 1999, at 16:10:51

In reply to Re: Drug abuse and depression, posted by JohnL on November 10, 1999, at 4:23:17

I don't think I've ever abused drugs or been addicted to them, but I did go through a period when I was so depressed that the only thing that seemed to help was heroin. I didn't take enough to get high, only enough to make life bearable. I stopped when a friend got me to see a psychiatrist and get on antidepressants.

 

Re: Drug abuse and depression

Posted by Adam on November 10, 1999, at 19:21:17

In reply to Drug abuse and depression, posted by tony on November 9, 1999, at 21:26:47

I don't know if I could have been characterized as a drug abuser or not.

When I was in school, and not on antidepressants, I drank heavily. But, being
at a small liberal arts college in New England, that seemed hardly unusual. My
problem may have been that all my friends were bigger than me, but it wasn't
unusual to get sick, and a couple times I even blacked out. It was my behavior
on "autopilot" that sort of kicked me in the rear and got me thinking.
Specifically, while doing a semester abroad, I and a few friends got silly stupid
drunk and ran around naked in the streets of a small city, which sounds funny
maybe, but is really rather stupid behavior given the possible consequences and was
totally out of character for me. There was the occasional "walk of shame" too (I'll
let you figure that out), to many some sort of accomplishment, but I always felt
guilty, and really got hurt/caused hurt once. My senior year I was pretty much too
busy to drink, I had a real girlfriend on campus for once, I spent time talking
to people instead of getting wasted with them. I partied on occasion, but always
with moderation. It was the best time of my life. I figured out I had really
wasted a lot of opportunities to interact with people as my real self instead of
as, well, another shitfaced college student. If I ever did things that were
"exciting" or "daring" or "funny" or whatever, could I really appreciate it, being
as drunk as I was, and was it ever really me? No, and no.

I also did weed and 'shrooms on rare occasions. I actually find these drugs, in
retrospect, far more benign than alcohol, and strangely have no real desire to
try them now, where the temptation to drink to excess still is there. I have on
occassion, luckily with no ill effects until just recently. In this case, I think
my antidepressant intensified my response, but I blacked out, did some stupid, stupid
things, and felt like a complete ass afterwards. It's just not worth it. This
is doubly true, I think, of those who have mood disorders and have the added risk
of potential drug interactions. I feel I need to experience life as lucid as I
can be, as real as it can be, and responsibly. Sober is just plain better. But
I'd never fault a soul for not wanting to be.

 

Re: Drug abuse and depression

Posted by mat on November 12, 1999, at 13:56:39

In reply to Re: Drug abuse and depression, posted by Adam on November 10, 1999, at 19:21:17

I have been diagnosed with social phobia. I have used speed (amphetamines) to conquer this in the past and to be absolutely honest, it worked very well.

To bring in another issue, I find now that a psychiatrist will not treat me with stimulants because of my previous drug history. I'm in England and stimulants over hear are very rarely prescribed in any case but I am still feel like I am being punished for trying to self-medicate.

mat


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