Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 14852

Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

tring to die!!!!!

Posted by kelly on November 8, 1999, at 23:39:37

I been down so long Over 15yrs. I just can't take it anymore. Life just keeps giving me more problems to deal with, this is it my last problem to deal with.

 

Re: tring to die!!!!!

Posted by Racer on November 9, 1999, at 0:59:51

In reply to tring to die!!!!!, posted by kelly on November 8, 1999, at 23:39:37

That's sounding the way I felt a few months ago. If you go through the archives you'll see that around May/June of this year, I was suicidal and miserable and couldn't see the point of going on with so much pain.

Guess what? It can get better. Sometimes it takes that one last effort to fight with the idiot doctors, or the wretched insurance company, or whatever.

Please use the support you can get here or in your community. That doesn't mean the hospital, unless that's what it takes for you, just check around for a support group. Find out if there's a Depressive Manic Depressive Association group locally, or a Manic Depressive Depressive Association group. My county has both. Try the NAMI.org site for information, or try a search engine.

Please, trust me that I mean what I say: the amount of support and caring I got from the group I went to made it possible for me to keep going just a little longer. It's still rough, but I'm still here! Stay until we can get to know you a little, and see what develops? 'K?

My heart is going out to you, for the pain you're in right now.

 

Re: tring to die!!!!!

Posted by Noa on November 9, 1999, at 7:04:35

In reply to Re: tring to die!!!!!, posted by Racer on November 9, 1999, at 0:59:51

Kelly, I know that when you feel the way you do, it is hard for anyone to convince you to try to live, rather than trying to die. I, too, was ready to check out just a couple of months ago. Felt like I had had enough, and it would never get better. It did get better, I changed, upped my meds. Now, it is hard again, and the suicidal feelings are hovering around the edges for me, but I am buoyed by the support, encouragement, and information I get here at Babble. I am not ready to give up without trying to find what will work for me. The thing is, finding the right "formula" of medications, therapy, social support, etc. can be really tough, and the "formula" is unique for each individual--each time one of us seeks it and finds it, it is a brand new creation, discovery, invention. It can take a long time, for some. The key is determination to take charge and push ahead, not stop and be complacent with what is presented to you. If the obvious remedies don't work, we and only we, are the ones who have to make the choice to keep searching.
Don't choose death, please, Kelly, don't choose death. Perhaps when I say this I am talking to myself as much as to you, but I want you to hang out with us here for a while and see if we can help each other. You made a good step by expressing your feelings to us. That is a sign that at least a small part of you is trying to live, trying to fight the desire to die. Lets support that part of you and make it stronger.

 

Re: tring to die!!!!!

Posted by Adam on November 9, 1999, at 12:55:59

In reply to tring to die!!!!!, posted by kelly on November 8, 1999, at 23:39:37

Kelly,

I have never attempted suicide, but came very close at the beginning of this year.

I was beyond unhappy. I felt like I was losing my mind, the feelings of despair and
anxiety were so intense. I would wake up at night shaking, with tears streaming out of
my eyes and absolutely beg the ground beneath me to swallow me and erase me. Death did
seem very much like "a consummation, devoutly to be wished," and the only thing that
kept me here was the promise the desire to commit suicide was a manifestation of an
illness and that this illness is treatable.

I cannot say this promise will be kept to everyone. But until you have exhausted all
possible avenues, you must try to "take up arms against a sea of troubles, and by so
opposing end them" because you have only one life, and thus it is your most precious
posession, miserable or sublime. It can and shall be both, and every condition in
between, and as truly as death is an end to suffering, it is an end to all living
experience and to all any person can truly know or hope for.

I wish I could give you some assurrance of living joy or at the very least respite this
side of the grave, but I can assure you you will never experience such things if you
deny yourself the possibility.

It is possible to be happier. I and many here are living proof. Keep fighting. You
are stronger than you know. It can get better.

> I been down so long Over 15yrs. I just can't take it anymore. Life just keeps giving me more problems to deal with, this is it my last problem to deal with.

 

Addendum to Adam's post

Posted by Racer on November 9, 1999, at 17:17:19

In reply to Re: tring to die!!!!!, posted by Adam on November 9, 1999, at 12:55:59

One of the things that kept me alive through the worst of my recent depression was the thought that by killing myself, I'd be dying in my pain, miserable, sick, in pain until the very end. There would be no way to get what I really wanted: relief from that pain. All there would be is worse pain and misery for a short time and then nothing. Nothing may sound good right now, but think about it: it's not that you would not feel anything: it's that you would not be able to feel anything, you'd never experience the relief of a painfree moment.

Sort of like dying in your sin: eternally damned. I would think of killing myself in that state, and realize that if I did, I'd experience that misery literally for the rest of my life.

Life is precious. Please try to find support, here and elsewhere, that can help you hang on until something improves.

 

Where is Kelly?

Posted by Noa on November 11, 1999, at 20:29:11

In reply to Addendum to Adam's post, posted by Racer on November 9, 1999, at 17:17:19

I am concerned. We never heard back from Kelly after the first "trying to die" post. I emailed her today, but haven't heard back. Anyone else hear from her?

 

before anyone else responds ...

Posted by Bob on November 11, 1999, at 23:23:43

In reply to tring to die!!!!!, posted by kelly on November 8, 1999, at 23:39:37

look down a few threads ... Kelly started a second thread with the same name. Might as well consolidate the discussion there.

Bob

 

Re: tring to die!!!!!

Posted by kelly on November 12, 1999, at 16:34:26

In reply to Re: tring to die!!!!!, posted by Noa on November 9, 1999, at 7:04:35

> Kelly, I know that when you feel the way you do, it is hard for anyone to convince you to try to live, rather than trying to die. I, too, was ready to check out just a couple of months ago. Felt like I had had enough, and it would never get better. It did get better, I changed, upped my meds. Now, it is hard again, and the suicidal feelings are hovering around the edges for me, but I am buoyed by the support, encouragement, and information I get here at Babble. I am not ready to give up without trying to find what will work for me. The thing is, finding the right "formula" of medications, therapy, social support, etc. can be really tough, and the "formula" is unique for each individual--each time one of us seeks it and finds it, it is a brand new creation, discovery, invention. It can take a long time, for some. The key is determination to take charge and push ahead, not stop and be complacent with what is presented to you. If the obvious remedies don't work, we and only we, are the ones who have to make the choice to keep searching.
> Don't choose death, please, Kelly, don't choose death. Perhaps when I say this I am talking to myself as much as to you, but I want you to hang out with us here for a while and see if we can help each other. You made a good step by expressing your feelings to us. That is a sign that at least a small part of you is trying to live, trying to fight the desire to die. Lets support that part of you and make it stronger.

If you want to know why i feel this way look at the new thread.
kelly

 

Re: tring to die!!!!!

Posted by kelly on November 12, 1999, at 16:49:42

In reply to tring to die!!!!!, posted by kelly on November 8, 1999, at 23:39:37

> I been down so long Over 15yrs. I just can't take it anymore. Life just keeps giving me more problems to deal with, this is it my last problem to deal with.

If anyone wants to know why look at the new thread down the list.


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