Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 13714

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 25. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Finances, messy rooms & messy minds..

Posted by dj on October 23, 1999, at 16:08:16

There have been a few threads on these issues, recently, though I've lost track of them. What I am curious about is if anyone has come up with solutions to them -- particularly the finances -- that are working well for them.

Janice does the 10 minute clean-up routnine plus balances her fiances every day or week (forget which). Bob & I think Racer have both gotten credit & debt coaching. I'm curious whether this has helped & whether anyone else has come up with any good solutions for this. My apologies if you've noted this & I've missed it...

And last but not least I'm interested in succesful strategies for personal organization & for everday and career issues. Memory cues & tools, etc., short of getting your vagus nerve wired &/or wiring oneself with a range of drugs?

Takers?

 

Re: Finances, messy rooms & messy minds..

Posted by Noa on October 23, 1999, at 20:27:58

In reply to Finances, messy rooms & messy minds.., posted by dj on October 23, 1999, at 16:08:16

Still working on the organizaiton. My apartment is chaos. I am trying to keep organized at work.. when I remember to do so, I take 15 minutes to go over the day before and the day to come, look at calendar, make lists, etc. But I have not been regular enough with it. When I do it, it is amazingly helpful.

I am in debt repayment through consumer credit counseling service. It is tremendously helpful. They take my monthly payment directly from my account and pay all my creditors. I have NO CREDIT CARDS except a bank check card, which takes the money right out of my checking account. I do have one gas card.

I know all kinds of strategies for being organized. I used to be adequately organized, although it was not easy for me. Now, Ihave become the personification of chaos and messiness. With my depression, I have had no energy for keeping up with things.

 

A pile for everything, and everything in its pile

Posted by Bob on October 23, 1999, at 21:11:24

In reply to Re: Finances, messy rooms & messy minds.., posted by Noa on October 23, 1999, at 20:27:58

Like Noa, I've gone the credit counseling route. Again, the org I'm dealing with can be contacted at www.genus.org. Unlike Credit Counselors of America (at least that's what I think they call themselves here in NYC), Genus did everything on-line, over the phone, and by fax. CCA wanted me to come in for a sit-down meeting. WAAAAAAY too much stress for me to cope. I had an agreement with Genus before I even realized it. When it did sink in, it felt even better. All I have left is my Amex (but I gotta get that sign & travel account down!). Genus does the automatic deduction every 15th of the month, and I know exactly how much I need to have in my account on that day. That is a tremendous relief! I never new predictability could be so comforting. Now, if I can just get my Amex card use in check. aCk!

I've just consolidated my student loans as well. The coolest thing about it all is that between the two debt consolidations, I'm saving over $100 a month on payments. I can mark my calendar for which day of the month the payments will be deducted, which helps me tremendously with my budget (what's that? a BUDGET?! ME?! HAH!! ... wait, I guess I CAN do that now!). I can even mark down the exact dates for when my credit will be clear and when my loans will be paid.

Finances were always a challenge to my competence. I couldn't keep all my bills straight, it was all so overwhelming, it drove me into blind panics. But now, I have four bills outside of living expenses (rent, utilities) I need to account for, and that's something I can manage. Phew!!!

Physical organization? HAH!! Wrong person for that.

Bob

 

Re: Tasks, time & tasking organization...

Posted by dj on October 24, 1999, at 9:25:07

In reply to A pile for everything, and everything in its pile, posted by Bob on October 23, 1999, at 21:11:24

What I am really interested in is how one organizes time for self & mental tasks such as reading technical documents, etc. I have a terrible time estimating & imagining how long anything will or should take me to do.

Last night I scanned a bit of the book Descartes Error which talks about brains, rationality and the role of emotions. The author (Damasio I believe) discussed a fellow named Elliot with pre-frontal lobe damage from a tumour, who lost his ability to focus on any particular task such as organizing files because he would get side tracked just reading one, etc.

Similar things happen to me when reading or organizing or cleaning or budgeting or...I either get very interested in one thing & side-tracked or just feel very overwhelmed with no sense of scale or time and a massive sense of futility.

Anyone experience anything of this sort, & come up with any solutions?

 

dj, sometimes it's called ADD

Posted by Janice on October 24, 1999, at 10:56:49

In reply to Re: Tasks, time & tasking organization..., posted by dj on October 24, 1999, at 9:25:07

no scale of time
Many little steps = 1 big goal. This equation does not make sense to me other than knowing it is true because other people have told me, over and over, this is so. hope I make sense

 

Re: J, sometimes it's called ADD & sometimes not..

Posted by dj on October 24, 1999, at 12:14:10

In reply to dj, sometimes it's called ADD, posted by Janice on October 24, 1999, at 10:56:49

I understand your comments below Janice, cuz I've read lots of books that reference this approach, though they do focus on having a scale of time...

As for what seems to be a hint, again, that this may be ADD I believe not from bit & pieces I've picked up about ADD. My impression is that those with what they call ADD feel they can take on anything, though they do have organizational abilities. I'm the other extreme and feel overwhelmed by many tasks and often succumt to a sense of futility, which I believe is more a mark of depression.

> no scale of time
> Many little steps = 1 big goal. This equation does not make sense to me other than knowing it is true because other people have told me, over and over, this is so. hope I make sense

 

Re: J, sometimes it's called ADD & sometimes not..

Posted by dove on October 24, 1999, at 12:52:15

In reply to Re: J, sometimes it's called ADD & sometimes not.., posted by dj on October 24, 1999, at 12:14:10

dj wrote:
I'm the other extreme and feel overwhelmed by many tasks and often succumt to a sense of futility, which I believe is more a mark of depression.

I am in agreement with this observation. Part of my feelings of being overwhelmed stem from ADD but I have read so much about it now that I have changed my view slightly. One of the reasons I didn't add to the other discussion about depression vs ADD was I felt so overwhelmed trying to classify all the symptoms.

I will clarify my thoughts on Monday (kids at school - husband at work :-) but for now I do think that ADD will exhibit enough energy and not enough time to actually finish the job or jobs where as depression overwhelms and incapacitates, paralyzing the recipient from moving.

Great discussion, very interesting stuff!
dove

 

it was an impulse posting...

Posted by janice on October 24, 1999, at 13:28:43

In reply to Re: J, sometimes it's called ADD & sometimes not.., posted by dove on October 24, 1999, at 12:52:15

i'm looking for a job and not getting enough done, as always. Why not suggest a stimulant to see if it helps? Unemployed and irritated, Janice
>
Dove please contribute on Monday, I'm trying to clarify the two for myself. People with ADD can be very lethargic; generally speaking I believe ADD people have erratic energy.

 

double impulse posting...

Posted by Janice on October 24, 1999, at 13:33:38

In reply to Re: J, sometimes it's called ADD & sometimes not.., posted by dove on October 24, 1999, at 12:52:15

dj, why don't you use your computer to help organize yourself. I do as many errands as I can on mine, banking, shopping, library, budget, blah, blah, blah. I struggle with all the crap I should have learnt in grade 6.

Dove don't let me get you off track, you always ahve great things to say, Janice. STILL unemployed, and it's been like 3 minutes.

dj, didn't you like my timer idea?

 

Re: double impulse posting...

Posted by dj on October 24, 1999, at 13:47:12

In reply to double impulse posting..., posted by Janice on October 24, 1999, at 13:33:38

It's organizing & motivating myself both on & off the computer that is the challenge, J. Setting priorities, following up on them, etc...instead of procrascinting, obsessing, avoiding, denying or fight, flight, freeze & facade. A stimulant might just make the mental swirl increase in intensity, as the challenge is more focus, follow-up, consistency, etc.....

Your timer idea is a good one if you have a baseline to work with but if your place is a total **ing disarray, it's hard to say where to start, where to focus, & not get distracted, derailed or just paralyzed...

ADD vs depression, perhaps they are futile distinctions and one just feeds the other -- from what I gather ADD is more a mental & motivational mania vs the mental and motivation slump which characterize depression. And if one does not succed in the former ie. the wheels spin & nothing gets done but theorizing then that could lead to the latter, perhaps....he writes as he prepares to leave his semi-organized, semi-chaotic apt. so as to attempt to focus on tech. reading in other venues after having pissed away the morning, babbling and avoiding...

 

First of all....

Posted by Noa on October 24, 1999, at 17:37:21

In reply to Re: double impulse posting..., posted by dj on October 24, 1999, at 13:47:12

First of all....reading technical journals, need I say it??? *BORING* !!!! It would be hard for anyone to feel motivated and engaged by this kind of reading. Even moreso for someone who has difficulty with self regulation, motivation, etc., whether from depression or add. The timer idea can help. YOu can learn to self monitor whether you are "on task". Set the timer to ring every 5 minutes and ask yourself, "Was I actually reading? Did I understand what I read? Or was my mind drifting?" Or, give yourself a concrete task to do to get throuh the reading. Start with prereading questions--"WHAt am I going to learn in this article? What information do I hope to gain?" Then read just section headings, and make an outline. Then read the topic sentences in each section. Talk to yourself as you do this. "This paaragraph is going to tell me about..." What am I curious about learning about this section? Or start a graphic organizer to take in the info. This can be a web pattern, with the main topic in the middle. From this are spokes to each of the section headings, each of which have spokes leading to specific topics covered. By doing something active while reading, you are more involved, engaged, hopefully less bored.
Stimulanst might help you, but they will not organize you.

BTW, Bob, CCCS offers over the phone service too. At first, I was getting frustrated because I could never get an appointment set up--they had these antiquated computer systems that didn't let them book appointments more than two weeks in advance, but then when you called, they were all booked up. I needed to plan in advance when to go, because they were during work hours only. I tried a different office, and they told me about another office that did everything ov3er the phone. It has been very convenient.

 

10 minutes a day, come on dj...

Posted by Janice on October 24, 1999, at 20:11:43

In reply to Re: double impulse posting..., posted by dj on October 24, 1999, at 13:47:12

> It's organizing & motivating myself both on & off the computer that is the challenge, J. Setting priorities, following up on them, etc...instead of procrascinting, obsessing, avoiding, denying or fight, flight, freeze & facade. A stimulant might just make the mental swirl increase in intensity, as the challenge is more focus, follow-up, consistency, etc.....
>
> Your timer idea is a good one if you have a baseline to work with but if your place is a total **ing disarray, it's hard to say where to start, where to focus, & not get distracted, derailed or just paralyzed...
>
> ADD vs depression, perhaps they are futile distinctions and one just feeds the other -- from what I gather ADD is more a mental & motivational mania vs the mental and motivation slump which characterize depression. And if one does not succed in the former ie. the wheels spin & nothing gets done but theorizing then that could lead to the latter, perhaps....he writes as he prepares to leave his semi-organized, semi-chaotic apt. so as to attempt to focus on tech. reading in other venues after having pissed away the morning, babbling and avoiding...

If you do 10 minutes a day, I guarantee you (well okay maybe 12-15 minutes to begin with), your place will be clean within 2 weeks. The only rules are it must be timed (otherwise you could get pissed off that you actually have done more or worry that you haven't done enough; that is if you have obssessive or perfectionist tendencies), and during this time you only physically manipulate objects (NO THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING - NOT EVEN CLEANING).

I am so organized dj, that all my clothes fit, all my shoes have solid heals (I'm a clothes' horse so this is a bigger deal than it probably sounds) on them, all my drawers are organized. All my coats are drycleaned. And it feels really good. You sound very depressed today.

If you're looking for a magic wand to do your cleaning, it's another hint you could have ADD. Janice. Of course, I believe you when you say you don't.

 

No, no: I'm the recovering accountant...

Posted by Racer on October 24, 1999, at 22:34:56

In reply to Re: Finances, messy rooms & messy minds.., posted by Noa on October 23, 1999, at 20:27:58

Hm, this is one that I struggle with, too...

One thing that does seem to help me is to write a list of every single task I have to do. I make it a big nasty stinking list, too. Nothing general on it, no 'clean kitchen', but every task involved. It's not 'clean kitchen', but 'wash dishes', 'put away groceries', 'bag papers for recycling', 'wipe counters', 'put away dry dishes', 'wash cat bowls', 'mop floors', etc. That way, although it's really intimidating to see the length of the list, when I look at any item on it, it's a doable item. I know that washing dishes takes maybe 10 minutes, tops. Nothing too horrible there, right? The other good thing is that if I ever have any energy, I can do five or ten items on the list in under an hour. That way, I can see all the items getting crossed off the list. That's a great feeling. When the list gets short enough that I can't find anything on it to do at a time that I can see doing something, I transfer all the leftovers to a new list, and then I have a bright and shiny new list of easy things to do.

The one caveat I have about this one: I tried a few times to make my usual, anal, accountant style outline list, you know: (heading one) Clean Kitchen (subhead) wash dishes, etc. Your basic outline. This was a disaster! I could suddenly see how much would be involved in cleaning the kitchen, and guess what? It wasn't until I made the other kind of list that you could walk into my kitchen again! KISS, 'Keep it simple, Stupid', is the operative concept here...

It might be worth a try, if only because it might be something you haven't tried before. If you try it and it helps, I will give, bequeath, and transfer usage title to you at no charge! I'll also be curious to know if it does help.

One other thing that I had to do for this to work for me: I had to start looking at what I had done, what I had accomplished, how many items were crossed off the list. Otherwise, I'd look around the kitchen or the living room, and I'd get overwhelmed again. It's not what the room looks like when you're in that state, but how much you've actually done. The written list helps because it reminds you that you've actually completed, say, six items this week, even if you still look around and see mess. (Oh, that's another thing: I never put a time limit on these lists. They may even have total long term items, like 'sew a new green dress', or 'knit a nice, lacy tunic length sweater'... These are designed as LOW PRESSURE lists, just to remind me of what to do, not when to do it. And if I can't sleep, I'll get up and do something on the list...)

Good luck, and you have my total empathy on this one!

 

Re: No, no: I'm the recovering accountant...

Posted by dj on October 24, 1999, at 23:11:02

In reply to No, no: I'm the recovering accountant..., posted by Racer on October 24, 1999, at 22:34:56

Thank y'all for your helpful hints & anymore, anyone cares to offer. Even though I went off to do tech. reading & have been away since my earlier post the little I accomplished speaks to my difficulty in motivating myself when the interest is weak (partly because I find it all oh, so confusing & find myself going over & over the same paragraphs while attempting to stay conscious) even though the urgency is high.

Same with apt. cleaning & so much else -- seems I get off on a different track when I have difficulty focusing on the one I am on...oh well there's always tommorra to take another look at prioritization & motivation...meanwhile I've got to do a bit more reading, after I do the final scroll here...

> Hm, this is one that I struggle with, too...

 

Two things. No, wait, three-, no, four things!

Posted by Bob on October 24, 1999, at 23:44:36

In reply to Re: No, no: I'm the recovering accountant..., posted by dj on October 24, 1999, at 23:11:02

As if you were expecting some sort of Spanish Inquisition of something ....

Two things:
I really like Janice's 10 minute thing, particularly with an external timer. I think I may put it into place tomorrow, as a matter of fact. The notion of answering to that alarm going off, of putting the onus on something external, appeals greatly to me. It sounds like a bit of a race. (gahdzooks! "cleaning" as fun?! I must be mentally ill or something...)

Thing two:
Noa, its that brain bin thing again. Stop it. ;^) I've never had insomnia thanks to the Journal of Educational Psychology. But the strategies that Noa suggested are on target.

Let me introduce you to a little something my academic "mom" and "grandma" cooked up in the early 80's -- it's called reciprocal teaching. It's a method of teaching learning disabled kids how to develop the reading strategies that good readers tend to develop naturally (i.e., who knows how, they just do it). Normally its done in groups with a teacher serving as a model, but you're a big boy so you can probably adapt this for yourself. Two things you gotta do -- learn the strategies, and learn the method.

The strategies are: summarize, question, clarify, predict. They may seem a bit obvious, but here's a quick definition anyway. Summarize -- only the chunk that you have just read. Focus on what's proximal in time. Question -- self-test here. Come up with a question about the meaning of the passage read that you can answer. Clarify -- in a group, you'd work with others to clarify things you don't understand ... gotta do this on your own by referring to the text. Predict -- what's going to happen next. This may seem silly for a technical article, but it's actually essential. This is where skepticism comes in ... did the author do enough to set up the next section? Are there holes in the argument? Faulty logic?

The method: A couple issues here are critical. One-- you work with small chunks of text. Technical reading tends to be defined into rather clearly labeled sections -- that should help, but you may even need to chop them down. Two-- you start off doing this in a concrete, overt manner. Keep a "summarize, question, clarify. predict" bookmark in your reading to remind you. State each step outloud for at least a week. Gradually move from an external process to an internal process. Actually, you may not even notice when you do make that transition. The point is to wean yourself off the external cues as you internalize the behaviors.

Oh, the funny thing about reciprocal teaching is that a lot of literature on reading between 1984 and now has focused on how well this approach works with "normal" kids, too. Go figure.

Bob

 

One (blonde) thing for dj...

Posted by Racer on October 25, 1999, at 3:21:30

In reply to Two things. No, wait, three-, no, four things!, posted by Bob on October 24, 1999, at 23:44:36

And let me point out, as a literate propeller head, that there are two basic types in the world: The Technical Types, and those who can communicate.

In technical manuals, while we all have to get through them, the problem often comes because the writer either can communicate well but has a spotty understanding of the material; or is technically capable, but can't communicate that knowledge clearly for those who are less technically adept (a/k/a 'normal people'). This is certainly true in computers, but it's also true in almost any other field I've ever had to study.

That may not help you get through the information any more easily, but at least it may help you stop beating yourself up for your 'failure' to take the information in.

Now go forth and multiply! Divide! Equate! Derive! And try Bob's suggestion. It sounds like a good one...

 

Good morning dj...

Posted by Janice on October 25, 1999, at 12:29:27

In reply to One (blonde) thing for dj..., posted by Racer on October 25, 1999, at 3:21:30

If there is one thing in the world I will admit to being a self-taught expert at is, how to stay clean and organized with the least amount of effort.

I've been studying this (non stop scanning) for at least 15 years now. And I've learnt, no one gets off free (except very rich people); Generally everyone cleans up after themselves, and if they are lucky, only after themselves.

Sometimes married men get away with it, or seem to; but then, when you talk to their wives, they are usually angry and bitter about it, and then proceed (not very often consciously) to make her husband's life miserable in other ways. (very simplistic, I know).

I also make tons of lists like racer. I was going to mention it before but I thought it would be too much for you at this point dj. Remember, this is a process. I started with the 10 minute timer. For about a 6 months period I did not enjoy doing it at all, it was a struggle. I always tried to do it as soon as I came in from a day's work (get it over with). After 6 months, it started to become easy... and now (3 years later) dj, I enjoy cleaning. It has become a soothing ritual. At the beginning of the beginning of organizing your entire life, start very small and reward yourself for accomplishing your goal. 10 minutes a day, it will make a big difference! and when that buzzer goes off (kind of sounds like you won a prize), you don't have to think about cleaning for another 24 hours. Mind you, becoming aware of your day to day habits will help also. Let it all happen almost naturally.

Now if you can teach me some tricks to eating regularly and well, please do.

If you get through your studies (and your depression), I'm sure you could create some kind of job that you find interesting and enjoy. A job where you can use your best gifts, plus your computer skills. Janice.

 

Re: Good morning dj...

Posted by Noa on October 25, 1999, at 20:52:30

In reply to Good morning dj..., posted by Janice on October 25, 1999, at 12:29:27

DJ, I laughed out loud at the idea of winning a prize at the sound of the bell. I am getting inspired here. Might get myself a timer and do my 10 minutes a day. Of course with how awfully MESSY my apt. is, it will probably take 3 1/2 years at that rate, just to bring it back to livable. But it is worth a shot, because something is better than nothing. Plus, it sounds like I got a cleaning by the clock support group here.

 

Re: Good morning dj...

Posted by dj on October 26, 1999, at 0:17:01

In reply to Good morning dj..., posted by Janice on October 25, 1999, at 12:29:27

Thanks for all the encouragement, the core message being -- just do it -- gradually, consistently & intelligently. We shall see...

The core problem and source of much of my grief is that I have little in the way of computer skills, & little interest in obaining them despite having achieved high debt for this dubious choice of studies which came from a poor decsion based on bad judgemnt of the wrong factors...So it goes...a complicated way of committing self-sabotage by letting my optimism overide my skepticism... oh well...

Food -- find something you like at the Eau Claire market and stock up. Find some places you like to go and have others cook for ya...it's a puzzle to me, too & I spend too much $ nibbling here & there rather than shopping sensibly which is almost beyond me these days...

Not let's try 10 minutes of focused reading before it puts me t zzzzZZZZZZzz

 

Re: 10 minutes

Posted by dove on October 26, 1999, at 8:15:08

In reply to Re: Good morning dj..., posted by dj on October 26, 1999, at 0:17:01

Allrighty then, I'm getting a big loud timer and I'm going to do the extra cleaning and straightening that I skip because I've got too many other cleaning jobs calling me. I think it's a grand idea, I have 5 children so I obviously have to clean a whole lot more than that everyday but if I could spend that much time daily, cleaning the things that are really obvious and visible I think I'll feel a lot better about me!

Ya'll are so encouraging, and what a great way to brainstorm. Thanks to everyone who has contributed and keep up the good work :-)
dove

 

HI DOVE...

Posted by Janice on October 27, 1999, at 20:07:18

In reply to Re: 10 minutes, posted by dove on October 26, 1999, at 8:15:08

hi dove,

I remember you saying in another one of your postings that you have super senses. Me too. I just wanted to share my latest 'trick' with you. Ear plugs. I started using them on the plane to Hawaii and I barely took them out the entire time I was there. Lately I've been wearing them anytime I have to go out in public; downtown, on the metro, in crowds mostly.

With them, I can choose the stimuli that I want to respond to. I no longer HAVE TO listen to everyone's conversations. I even notice that people react to me differently; generally I am hyper-reactive but with the earplugs it takes me longer to respond to people (because I can't hear them as well), and consequently I've been responding at what most people would consider a normal pace. My nerves are in a much better state at the end of the day. Janice.

 

Re: Finances, messy rooms & messy minds..oi vey

Posted by Adam on November 15, 1999, at 15:30:02

In reply to Finances, messy rooms & messy minds.., posted by dj on October 23, 1999, at 16:08:16

I'm not sure if this is in the spirit of the thread, but...

Depression can be expensive, man. It's hitting home as the end of the year approaches, holidays mere weeks away. The combination of hospitalization,
weekly meetings with a psychotherapist, less frequent but regular meetings with a psychopharmacologist...26 visits from my HMO just didn't cut it
very well. A big part of my "therapy" has been broadening my social circles, getting out, having fun. Living in the immediate vicinity of a rather
pricey city (and lets not even get into absurd rents and commutes and blah, blah, blah), well, there aren't too many square dances and bean suppers
at the grange in these parts. Success is great, of course (hey, I've been invited to go backpacking in Colorado, long ski trips in NH and VT, weekends
on Nantucket, mountain biking, rock climbing, concerts, movies...). My therapist says "Go for it! And see you next week!" My wallet says "ouch".
I also think of going back to school, having my own place, saving for retirement (yikes, did I say that?). Oh, this year has just been a killer. I've
been on such a wild ride, and now settling into a groove, money rears its ugly head. I've felt at times a little hedonistic excess was in order given
a very long anhedonic stretch (on the good days), but the reality of my illness and the costs to treat it...well, it's hard.

I don't know if this has a point. Christmas draws nigh, and I want to spoil my neice. I want to spoil myself a little. And stay healthy. It will all
work out in the end, I guess. Depression, and its effects, don't seem to ever quite go away, even when I feel well. Money's just another reminder of that.
Sigh.


> There have been a few threads on these issues, recently, though I've lost track of them. What I am curious about is if anyone has come up with solutions to them -- particularly the finances -- that are working well for them.
>
> Janice does the 10 minute clean-up routnine plus balances her fiances every day or week (forget which). Bob & I think Racer have both gotten credit & debt coaching. I'm curious whether this has helped & whether anyone else has come up with any good solutions for this. My apologies if you've noted this & I've missed it...
>
> And last but not least I'm interested in succesful strategies for personal organization & for everday and career issues. Memory cues & tools, etc., short of getting your vagus nerve wired &/or wiring oneself with a range of drugs?
>
> Takers?

 

Re: Finances, messy rooms & messy minds..oi vey

Posted by Bob on November 17, 1999, at 13:15:37

In reply to Re: Finances, messy rooms & messy minds..oi vey, posted by Adam on November 15, 1999, at 15:30:02

> ... Success is great, of course ....

So, you have had some fun ... christmas can be one last splurge ... but don't let your depression ruin you financially. If you've been running up the credit card debts, time to go on a diet. If you can't do it on your own, take the route a number of us have gone and deal with a credit counselor. You surrender a little freedom and a little control for the much greater satisfaction of having one bill at a fixed amount that you can stay on top of. Start paying cash or use Amex (geez, those bills hurt! ;^) for anything else. Does "success" include a benefits package with a flexible spending account? If so, schedule yourself to have the whole $2000 you can sock away for medical expenses to be taken out of your pretax paycheck next year. I was close to $2k behind to my therapist last January, and as soon as I get my next flex-spending refund check, I'll have that all eliminated since I kept up-to-date on my current charges.

Three things -- credit counseling, my flex account, and consolidating my student loans -- have saved my tail financially this year, and next year (heck ... stores got their christmas stuff out already... might as well start talking about 2000 in other than y2k terms) I might actually be able to get ahead of the game. Imagine that.

Bob

 

Re: Finances, messy rooms & messy minds..oi vey

Posted by Adam on November 18, 1999, at 3:01:27

In reply to Re: Finances, messy rooms & messy minds..oi vey, posted by Bob on November 17, 1999, at 13:15:37

Well, like I said, I've been _invited_ to do a lot of these things. I haven't done them all. I know I can't, but
if huge medical bills weren't an issue, I'd be so there most of the time. I just had another friend email me and
ask if I'd like to climb Mt. Ranier with him. He can get a package deal that would cost $700 plus a couple hundred
bucks for a plane ticket. I would LOVE to do that, and I can't. I don't mean to whine, it's just that I've
entered into a strange state of being somewhat antidepressed, am actually enjoying life a bit and simultaneously
saddled by the costs it took to get me here. Of course there are cheaper ways to have fun, but I've not been
entirely irresponsible, and could have budgeted these things except...it's just a bit frustrating, that's all.

> > ... Success is great, of course ....
>
> So, you have had some fun ... christmas can be one last splurge ... but don't let your depression ruin you financially. If you've been running up the credit card debts, time to go on a diet. If you can't do it on your own, take the route a number of us have gone and deal with a credit counselor. You surrender a little freedom and a little control for the much greater satisfaction of having one bill at a fixed amount that you can stay on top of. Start paying cash or use Amex (geez, those bills hurt! ;^) for anything else. Does "success" include a benefits package with a flexible spending account? If so, schedule yourself to have the whole $2000 you can sock away for medical expenses to be taken out of your pretax paycheck next year. I was close to $2k behind to my therapist last January, and as soon as I get my next flex-spending refund check, I'll have that all eliminated since I kept up-to-date on my current charges.
>
> Three things -- credit counseling, my flex account, and consolidating my student loans -- have saved my tail financially this year, and next year (heck ... stores got their christmas stuff out already... might as well start talking about 2000 in other than y2k terms) I might actually be able to get ahead of the game. Imagine that.
>
> Bob

 

Re: Finances, messy rooms & messy minds..oi vey

Posted by Bob on November 18, 1999, at 13:05:30

In reply to Re: Finances, messy rooms & messy minds..oi vey, posted by Adam on November 18, 1999, at 3:01:27

I know what you mean. For me, it's very reminiscent of the 6 mile training run we'd do when I was on the crew for my undergraduate school. For the last 1.5 miles, it was all uphill. You'd climb for a quarter mile, and you'd think you see the top of the hill, but it turned out to be a little plateau before another quarter mile climb. Finally, after doing 5 or 6 of these climbs, you FINALLY do reach the top of the hill.

Of course, that's where the coach would be waiting to send us down a sidestreet that was, you guessed it, another quarter-mile hill ... which we'd have to run another four times or so up and down.

Nowadays, I can't stand getting to the top of a personal "hill", only to see steeper, taller hills beyond. I'd just like to find the chairlift to the top....
Bob


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