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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Erin on July 31, 1999, at 15:29:34
I just found out that one of my last unmarried ex-boyfriends is getting married and I feel wretched. I have gradually been increasing my dosage of Serzone and been at the 200 mg mark for the last 10 days. I know I need to give it at least another 2 1/2 weeks before I see some results. God, I just feel so awful- ever since I went through my last major depressive episode every day has been a struggle. I have had to put everything else on hold trying to battle this disease that is consuming my entire life. I'm only 29 and each day that passes seems harder than the last. I keep thinking of how much I am missing, how much is slipping through my fingers, and that my best days are behind me. Somehow I keep this little reserve of hope and I force myself to keep going- to read, to ride my bike, to get up in the morning. I'm sorry to sound so overly dramatic, I just feel like I'm slowly drowning. All I want to feel is alive.
Erin
Posted by Morc on July 31, 1999, at 16:28:25
In reply to Feeling down, posted by Erin on July 31, 1999, at 15:29:34
Erin:Your thoughts in your post sounded so like mine, I feel I could have written it myself! The turning point for me has been accepting that my depression *is* the focus of my life, for now, mcuh as I might not like it. I'm 41, and have often felt like my life is over, has been wasted, etc. But I know that's just depressive thinking.
Good luck.
Posted by Barb on July 31, 1999, at 18:16:30
In reply to Re: Feeling down, posted by Morc on July 31, 1999, at 16:28:25
>
> Erin and Morc,I'm sorry you are so low. My husband has reminded me of a line from the movie "Tootsie" that has stuck with me as i learned to accept my PMS/depression swings as a fact of life:"I just have to feel this way until...I don't feel this way any more!"
That sounds so trivial and simple, but I've learned that somehow, something will help break the cycle: AD use was something I put off for eight years while delving into "natural"/nonmedicinal remedies, exercise, self help, my belief system and faith, and just growing up a bit. (I'm now 34).
Don't ever give up or give in. If it helps, let go and let God get you through. If that's not where your at and you have no one else, keep talking on the net, and know someone really cares.
Posted by nancy on July 31, 1999, at 18:51:41
In reply to Re: Feeling down, posted by Barb on July 31, 1999, at 18:16:30
geez, i know what you're going through. just got passed that place, myself. i'm bipolar-1. my depression was not responding well to any ADs or med-cocktails. i had ECT. Pow! snapped me right out of that chronic misery. but, in addition, i take 300mg effexor xr, t3 and t4 thyroid hormones (at dosages that put my blood level into the 75% high end of the normal range).
what's your pdoc suggest you do?
> >
> > Erin and Morc,
>
> I'm sorry you are so low. My husband has reminded me of a line from the movie "Tootsie" that has stuck with me as i learned to accept my PMS/depression swings as a fact of life:"I just have to feel this way until...I don't feel this way any more!"
>
> That sounds so trivial and simple, but I've learned that somehow, something will help break the cycle: AD use was something I put off for eight years while delving into "natural"/nonmedicinal remedies, exercise, self help, my belief system and faith, and just growing up a bit. (I'm now 34).
>
> Don't ever give up or give in. If it helps, let go and let God get you through. If that's not where your at and you have no one else, keep talking on the net, and know someone really cares.
Posted by Racer on July 31, 1999, at 22:39:28
In reply to Feeling down, posted by Erin on July 31, 1999, at 15:29:34
Yuck! That doesn't sound dramatic, feeling as though you're drowning in this situation. That sounds like the standard reaction in a depressed person.
Ten years ago, I left a man I'd been living with for years. He wasn't sure he was ready to be married, he didn't want kids, he wanted more of a commitment from me with less of a commitment from him, and I was ready to move on. Within one year, he had married another woman, and they were expecting their first child. Life is like that sometimes. (The part about his giving me chlamydia and making me sterile is another story...)
Anyway, my question for the universe when this sort of thing gets to me is this: "I don't know who wrote the melodrama of my life, I just want to know if I get residuals of the gross?" It may be stupid, but it does make the humor more accessible to me.
Also, don't sell yourself short: if you do as much as it sounds like, you sound as though you're doing a lot for yourself right now. Don't let the depression lie to you: you are doing enough for yourself right now. You'll be able to do more later, but for now, you're doing pretty dang well if you ask me.
Take care, and best wishes.
Posted by Carolyn on August 3, 1999, at 19:49:50
In reply to Feeling down, posted by Erin on July 31, 1999, at 15:29:34
Erin,
Sorry to hear of your old boyfriend. I can sympathize with your feeling that your life is slipping thru your finger tips. Your honesty about yourself comes thru loud and clear. I enjoy and respect those that can articulate their situations.
I too am on Serzone. Started on it 6/1/99. I was on 200mg about 2 weeks ago & I felt so depressed. In fact I felt better before I started to take Serzone. My Dr. Urged me to get myself bumped up to 300mg a day. Just in the last 3 days I feel fantastic. (I hope it lasts). I am sleeping better and I feel my moods evening out.
The best part is that I feel a hopefulness instead of that low lying nagging hopelessness feeling!! I wish you the best!!! Take care!!!
Posted by Erin on August 3, 1999, at 20:42:13
In reply to Re: Feeling down, posted by Carolyn on August 3, 1999, at 19:49:50
Carolyn,
It is so wonderful to hear a success story on Serzone! It really gives me hope. I think I will talk to my doctor about increasing my dosage since I had a brief positive response (3 days about a week ago) to the 200 mg level.
Wishing you continued success :)
Erin
Posted by Carolyn on August 5, 1999, at 18:34:18
In reply to Re: Feeling down, posted by Erin on August 3, 1999, at 20:42:13
Erin,
I am continuing to do very well!! I am sleeping pretty decently which of course means I am feefing rested & refreshed when I wake up in the morning. I laugh more & feel a hopefulness about life!! I also don't feel so overwhelmed by everything; it all feels manageable!! Take care & please let me know how you are doing!!!
This is the end of the thread.
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