Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 6642

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

the depressive episode of my manic depression

Posted by Cynthia on May 27, 1999, at 0:52:25

Why won't it go away. I've tried medications galore, which all only seem to work for a short while. I love my highs and am very productive on them and I feel great. My lows come like clockwork, and so far the only thing that helps is keeping my body on a very strict schedule, i.e., getting up at the same time, eating at the same time, eating very regularly ; but these methods really only seen to help a little at best. When I am depressed, I have so many 'issues' from my past, when I am high, these same things are not even issues. I simply understand what happened with no anger or internal conflicts. I am certain I am not borderline personality disorder because my cycle arrive like clockwork and lithium significantly helps to control them. Any ideas for me.

 

Re: the depressive episode of my manic depression

Posted by claudeah on May 31, 1999, at 0:51:43

In reply to the depressive episode of my manic depression, posted by Cynthia on May 27, 1999, at 0:52:25

Cynthia---

Found it.

Yes---I found talk therapy very helpful, in fact life saving during my depressions. Like you I love my highs and am very productive---except when my senses are so heightened I hear the folks talking in their cubicle four ailes away. The talk therapy helps with the lapses in confidence that come with the depression...

Take care,

Claudea

 

Re: the depressive episode of my manic depression

Posted by Cynthia on June 1, 1999, at 23:05:19

In reply to Re: the depressive episode of my manic depression, posted by claudeah on May 31, 1999, at 0:51:43

Claudeau,

do you have any issues to be worked out from childhood? abuse or neglect? Or do you just suffer from laspes in confidence? I was abused.

thanks,
cynthia

 

Coming to terms with mainc depression

Posted by Ellen Brodie on June 6, 1999, at 7:20:26

In reply to Re: the depressive episode of my manic depression, posted by Cynthia on June 1, 1999, at 23:05:19

In reading about everybodies depressive episodes I am having a hard times coming to terms with mine. I seem to have more Depression than mania. More anxiety which I think is from the reality of having this shitty disease. How do you all cope. I am on topomax which I am I am starting to think is a waste. The only thing saving me is Klonopin. I am on 25mg a day. I seem to need a lot of sleep. I am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that my whole life has been turned upside down because of this. Any advice on how you all cope with you illness would be appreciated. Ellen

 

Re: Coming to terms with mainc depression

Posted by cynthia on June 8, 1999, at 18:22:42

In reply to Coming to terms with mainc depression, posted by Ellen Brodie on June 6, 1999, at 7:20:26

> In reading about everybody's depressive episodes I am having a hard times coming to terms with mine. I seem to have more Depression than mania. More anxiety which I think is from the reality of having this shitty disease. How do you all cope. I am on topomax which I am I am starting to think is a waste. The only thing saving me is Klonopin. I am on 25mg a day. I seem to need a lot of sleep. I am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that my whole life has been turned upside down because of this. Any advice on how you all cope with you illness would be appreciated. Ellen


Hi Ellen,

I posted this orginal thread. Yeah, that seems to be the question, how to get the good highs, while minimizing the lows. It seems like the people who may have the answers are not surfing this web page. I've got my depressions down to about 20% of my life, I'd say 4 days of 30 are impaired moderately because of my depression. The worst thing about depression though is one minute of it feels like at least an hour! Uggg, the agony of even 20% of my life depressed. How did I do this, how did I come this far? - not that it just might one day go Pooh! - with one good major depressive episode. So I'm cyclothymic, and suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, and used to have a major depressive episode. I've gotten rid of the major depressive episode with medication, lots of psychotherapy and lots of hard work. Right now it is late spring in Canada, which alleviates any depressive symptoms that might lie over my cyclothymia (in winter I use lights). After this, I am left with my rapid cycling. 3 days a week up, 2 and 1/2 a days okay, approximately 1 and 1/2 days depressed, but still functioning (maybe 1 day out of 30 where I can't get out of bed).

Okay Ellen, I type fast and can really ramble. So what I am trying to say is that first, for me, it was about getting to know the biological part of your illness - how my body reacts to cycles, the circadian cycle (24 hours), the weekly cycle (my cyclothymia), the monthly cycle (I am on the pill for this one because of anxiety at ovulation and severe PMS), and my yearly, seasonal affective disorder, cycle. So intially, it was about finding out what I could do to take care of the physical/biological part of this illness (of course this includes medication, constantly trying to stay on top of my symptoms with various combinations of medications)

Then, for me, it was about finding my triggers, what could contribute or attenuate the existing mood. For me, a cloudy day, standing in line ups (I also have ADD), doing practical things (I'm happiest when I am using my imagination) are examples of bad triggers. Having a conversation that leads to intimacy with another person, listening to music, patting my dog are pretty well guaranteed good triggers for me.

So I experiment with my triggers constantly, keep a journal, examining the journal with a psychotherapist, exercise only on my BAD days because exercise for me is like a 'happy pill', but then, I can't get addicted to it or else I only feel shitty on the days I don't exercise.

You get the drift, it's alot of hard fucking work, and I would imagine every individual is very unique in finding their own solutions.

So Dear Ellen, from what I can tell, from my years of having this illness, is the only thing that probably ever gets anyone better (except for those people who are perhaps better and nowhere near this website - does anyone really think these people really exist? Does anyone know any real success stories? If you do I wanna know) is determination.

Determination, educating ourselves by reading and maybe sharing our experiences can help give each other ideas.

I wish the psychiatrists could cut us people in pain a break, and make their medications to help us feel better than normal. As I understand it, they just want to get us back to normal. I say, aim higher!

Best wishes. I hope other people will follow this thread and give us some ideas.

ps lately, my wonder medication has been Dexedrine used for people with Attention Deficit Disorder. It helps with my depression by eliminating that 'sleep bug'.

My grammar teacher would be horrified.

Cynthia


 

Ellen, I forgot something

Posted by Cynthia on June 8, 1999, at 21:13:14

In reply to Re: Coming to terms with mainc depression, posted by cynthia on June 8, 1999, at 18:22:42

Knowing you have a problem and getting good help is about 50% of the problem/solution.

 

Re: Coming to terms with mainc depression

Posted by Ellen BRodie on June 13, 1999, at 7:00:12

In reply to Re: Coming to terms with mainc depression, posted by cynthia on June 8, 1999, at 18:22:42

> Dear Cynthia,
Thanks for the warm response. It sounds like we are on the same page. I am jsut now starting to learn about my triggers. It's the damn anxiety that has me at such a hold right now. Klonopin is about the only thing that seems to work for me. They have just started me on neurtotin but it is still to soon to tell. I sometimes have my doubts about all this medication shit. I don't know if I feel worse know or before I started on meds. Your right though, it is a never ending battle, I read all the time, knowledge about this illness is power over the illness. Thats how I see it. If I can over power it than I will beat it some day. My wost times are at night. I seem to drop pretty bad at night. Can't seem to figure that out. real bad depressive episodes towards the end of the day. I'll go through these short burst of energy and than bam I fall. Someimes I feel like it is the medication that is inducing it, because I have never experience this before. Convincing my doctor of this is probably a waste of my time. I have been on topamax which I have been lowering my dosage of becasue I am certain that has been a contributor. I have read enough about the drug to know that it increases anxiety. I will give the neurontin time . Anyway, once again thanks for your response. It's comforting knowing I am not the only one out there going at this alone. Ellen

 

Re: Coming to terms with manic depression

Posted by Misha on June 25, 1999, at 17:28:16

In reply to Re: Coming to terms with mainc depression, posted by Ellen BRodie on June 13, 1999, at 7:00:12

> > Dear Cynthia,
> Thanks for the warm response. It sounds like we are on the same page. I am jsut now starting to learn about my triggers. It's the damn anxiety that has me at such a hold right now. Klonopin is about the only thing that seems to work for me. They have just started me on neurtotin but it is still to soon to tell. I sometimes have my doubts about all this medication shit. I don't know if I feel worse know or before I started on meds. Your right though, it is a never ending battle, I read all the time, knowledge about this illness is power over the illness. Thats how I see it. If I can over power it than I will beat it some day. My wost times are at night. I seem to drop pretty bad at night. Can't seem to figure that out. real bad depressive episodes towards the end of the day. I'll go through these short burst of energy and than bam I fall. Someimes I feel like it is the medication that is inducing it, because I have never experience this before. Convincing my doctor of this is probably a waste of my time. I have been on topamax which I have been lowering my dosage of becasue I am certain that has been a contributor. I have read enough about the drug to know that it increases anxiety. I will give the neurontin time . Anyway, once again thanks for your response. It's comforting knowing I am not the only one out there going at this alone. Ellen


It's so nice to find people who are working for the same thing you are - simply finding what works to get to the other side of this tunnel. My manic-depression has been lurking in the corners since I was a teen, but it didn't get diagnosed until I turned 28, about 2 years ago, when I began experiencing almost daily spikes and valleys. I've been on 750 mg Depakote daily ever since. My psydoc warned me that the first two weeks going on it would be sheer hell and that I should NEVER be by myself. If he hadn't warned me, I would be dead. But now, as long as I police myself, I'm on the road to getting off this stuff within the next year - hopefully. Just like Cynthia, I watch my diet, my sleep, the amount of light, and also how much work I do, and when I do it. Yeah, we're like canaries in coal mines, and it sucks. We are some of the most creative people on the planet, though - I'm convinced.

So I firmly believe in rewarding ourselves - spend the money on a massage therapist, or some sort of incredible treat that you would love to do - and do it, every two weeks or so.

I also think that the only reason this is becoming manageable is that I am pushing myself to confide in my friends and create an all-important network. - Misha


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