Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 5639

Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Who is sicker?

Posted by Joanne on May 5, 1999, at 22:56:19

Boy, this is a hard one to write... I've been fighting with anti-depressants, finding one that
works for about 5 months... now, I think I've found one!! Sounds good, doesn't it... Well, I
thought so too. Until the last couple of weeks.
I don't cry all the time anymore. I don't go for weeks without sleeping anymore, crying all
the time. Instead, I sleep all the time... whenever I'm not at work, that is.
And, I have been seeing someone. Someone I actually think I could stay with... we get along so well...
Again, the problem? He too, suffers (is suffers the right word?) from depression... he's been on and
off Prozac for years. Lately, he's become more and more down and himself and everyone and everything
around him. I really do think we share something special, but I can't handle being around someone even
more depressed than me. It's bringing me down farther than I want or need to be. I'm trying to be
supportive, and caring, but all I want to do is shake him and say "Stop it!! You're not only the only
person with problems, but you are bringing me down farther than I want to go!" But at the same time,
being the good, enabling, depressed co-dependant that I am, I want to try to fix him.
Any ideas?
Thanks,
Joanne

 

Re: Who is sicker?

Posted by Wayne R. on May 6, 1999, at 13:44:47

In reply to Who is sicker?, posted by Joanne on May 5, 1999, at 22:56:19

I went around and around for nearly 25 years trying to find something that would last more than a few months. See my various postings beginning in February to see how adding Naltrexone has been a miracle for me. Wishing you and yours a miracle... Wayne

 

Re: Who is sicker?

Posted by Gigi on May 9, 1999, at 14:02:22

In reply to Who is sicker?, posted by Joanne on May 5, 1999, at 22:56:19

Glad you found an anti-depressant that works, which one is it?
As for your friend, when you are depressed and you are around someone else
who is depressed; you just fall deeper into darkness. Do you feel better when he
is not around? Maybe a "trial separation" and you'll find out if its worth
the fight or not. The other suggestion, and we all HATE this one, would be
to get counseling together on how you can HELP each other instead of hindering
each other...just a few more thoughts since I re-read your post. When you say
he puts down everything and everyone around him, does that include you?
Just because a person is depressed does not mean that its okay to put someone
else down (yourself, yes - other people, no!) Also I think you hit the nail
on the head when you mentioned you are a "good, enabling, co-dependent trying to
fix" - how many have we tried to fix, but never do? Anyway, you can never fix
him unless a) he wants to be fixed and b) you are "fixed" (bad word-nothing personal
there)! Maybe you should focus your energy on yourself - its not selfish; its necessary!
Best of luck!

 

Re: Who is sicker?

Posted by stjames on May 10, 1999, at 18:36:53

In reply to Who is sicker?, posted by Joanne on May 5, 1999, at 22:56:19


> Again, the problem? He too, suffers (is suffers the right word?) from depression... he's been on and
> off Prozac for years. Lately, he's become more and more down and himself and everyone and everything
> around him. I really do think we share something special, but I can't handle being around someone even
> more depressed than me. It's bringing me down farther than I want or need to be. I'm trying to be
> supportive, and caring, but all I want to do is shake him and say "Stop it!! You're not only the only


James here....

No one can fix anyone other than themselves. Work on getting yourself better. Ther "other" needs tp get help on his own. By going out and thaking care of yourself and getting better you are showing the "other" how it can be done.

The "other" sure reminds me of I Ching !

james

 

Re: Who is sicker? to Gigi

Posted by Joanne on May 10, 1999, at 23:21:38

In reply to Re: Who is sicker?, posted by Gigi on May 9, 1999, at 14:02:22

Gigi:
What a great response! And just what I needed to put things into perspective!
The anti depressant that works? Zoloft.
I feel better when he is around... it seems that both of us find things to whine and
complain about more, when we are not together... when we haven't seen each other for a few
days and we talk on the phone...
Ok... when he puts down everone and everything... no, I'm not included in this... that
helps.. I think...
Anyway.. bottom line what I get...
I gotta take care of me first... and I know you are totally right. I have suddenly made the
decision to go to counseling again... whether with him or whithout him. I need it. I'd
like to think he'll come along for the ride and try to get "fixed" (I do like and understand
the word!) too.
Thanks so much!!

 

Re: Who is sicker? to Gigi

Posted by Joanne on May 11, 1999, at 6:27:49

In reply to Re: Who is sicker? to Gigi, posted by Joanne on May 10, 1999, at 23:21:38

Joanne-I am so glad my answer helped you in some small way and thanks for mentioning Zoloft.
It is great that you are going to take care of yourself first - we all grew up thinking that
was selfish, but its not. If we can't function, we certainly can't help anyone else.
I sincerely hope things will work for you and if he decides to go to counseling with you, all
the better; if not, then you know YOU are doing everything possible to improve your life (and his
life). And even if he does not go initially, he notices a change in you, he may decide to try
counseling as well. My thoughts and prayers are with you---hang in there, and please let me
know how things are going.
P.S. You really made my day and put a smile on my face for the first time in a very
long time; thank you!!!

 

Re: Who is sicker?

Posted by Gigi on May 11, 1999, at 17:49:28

In reply to Re: Who is sicker? to Gigi, posted by Joanne on May 11, 1999, at 6:27:49

> Joanne, please see previous message that says its from you; its actually from me to you,
I screwed something up. However, I wanted to make sure you saw my reply and know how much
I appreciate your kind words!


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