Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 2365

Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Topless to the dumpster!! And other thoughts. Vent

Posted by Janice on January 13, 1999, at 5:14:02

Yes, I went topless to the garbage dumpster and about a
block to set some papers out for recycling. It was
7 degrees above 0 and snowing, so, of course, I was
wearing a coat, but underneath I was as naked as a
jaybird!!! Ha ha ha. Won't try this in summer, though.
Might as well as some fun with these mundane tasks, eh?
I was quite proud of myself, as the garbage has been
piling up, and I have been intending to recycle that
bundle of newspapers, forever. Then, I even managed to
take a shower!! Woo hoo.

I'm starting to feel deja vue with my current
'brain problems', difficulty thinking and focusing.
I just happened to have a fleeting memory of my Prozac
days. I remembered that one of the reasons I stopped
taking Prozac was that I felt 'zoned out' meaning I was
always feeling like I was between two thoughts; it
was hard to get to the next one. It was hard to think.
It used to annoy me when people would asked me a question
because then I would have to try and think. I'm
starting to feel this way now with the Luvox. I feel
like my brain is in no-man's land, like if there were
a box, there would be thoughts in the four corners
but my brain is in the center, and it takes effort to
capture those thoughts. I feel kinda dead inside,
kinda apathetic, like I just don't care. Any
have thoughts on this? I think I was taking 20 mg
Prozac at the time and also Desyrel (a small dose) for
sleep. Non, on the Luvox, I am tapering down, and have
been taking 100 mg the past week. Is this feeling
'zoned out' a side effect of SSRI's?

Who knows? I'm tired of wondering. I like to be
informed, but can't seem to get any answers.
I have began to wonder whether there are any answers.
I wonder if I'm just not asking the right questions.
Although, I heard someone say today that even if you
ask all the right questions you might still not get an
answer. :( No guarantees. :( Patience? Persistence?
Perseverance? Do I have to go to medical school?
There's probably a book out there, I just have to find
it? Some people can just follow orders, I like to know
how 'things' work. It would make accepting some of the
these side effects easier, if I know what was causing
them. Is blind acceptance the answer? Ignorance is
bliss?

Three years ago, I lost confidence/trust in my pdoc
when I told him that the Nortriptyline was making me
tachycardic, and he poo pooed the idea and told me that
I was just anxious. :( Give me a break. I know when
I'm anxious. I know what my normal heart rate is. Why
couldn't he just say that one of the possible side
effects of Nortriptyline is increased heart rate,
instead of ignoring what I was saying? Seems like he
was/is in denial. I lost trust in his ability to tell
me the truth (especially on something so simple).
End of story. Confidence lost. I can handle the truth.
Did he believe what he was saying? Onward....

In my case, the thought stopping properties of Prozac
were welcome at first because I couldn't have the same
negative, repetitive thoughts (and believe you me I
tried to have them because that was what I was used to.
But, it was liking to trying to pass a large turd...I
was trying to squeeze out a negative thought (smile)).
So, at first, I was kinda pleased, but then was not so
pleased when I realized that not only couldn't have the
negative thoughts but that it was hard just having any
thoughts. There was a void, and I was hoping for some
new thoughts to fill the void, but it was slow in
happening. And the prozac made me feel this low grade
agitation, which I tired of, a constant
gnawing/grinding feeling.

I know I probably need to find a support group to talk
about this. That is to say, that this probably isn't
the right place. But...my next ponderance/question is.
.....

Is there a 'relearning process' with these ADs? If
you've lived your life (28 years) with untreated
chronic depression intermixed with major depression
and then go on ADs long term, does altered brain
chemistry change things to make a person feel like they
are 'starting over'? I've think I noticed that life is
somehow different and I've had to 'relearn' some things
I already knew. I know this is vague. I'd like to be
more specific, but... I know that schizophrenics have
to go through a relearning process because they some-
times lose the ability to perform the simplest, routine
task they've known how to do for years (take a bath,
fix a meal, etc.). Could it be that if ADs improve
one's cognitive functioning, the world is 'anew', then
one has to relearn alot of the old stuff? Maybe not to the
degree that schizophrenics have to relearn, but still
to some lesser degree? Is this a real 'phenomenom' or
am I making it up?

I know you are out there. I can hear you breathing.

Well, thanks for listening. Thanks in advance for any
responses.

 

Re: Topless to the dumpster!! And other thoughts. Vent

Posted by Sean on January 13, 1999, at 13:25:37

In reply to Topless to the dumpster!! And other thoughts. Vent, posted by Janice on January 13, 1999, at 5:14:02

> Yes, I went topless to the garbage dumpster and about a
> block to set some papers out for recycling. It was
> 7 degrees above 0 and snowing, so, of course, I was
> wearing a coat, but underneath I was as naked as a
> jaybird!!! Ha ha ha. Won't try this in summer, though.
> Might as well as some fun with these mundane tasks, eh?
> I was quite proud of myself, as the garbage has been
> piling up, and I have been intending to recycle that
> bundle of newspapers, forever. Then, I even managed to
> take a shower!! Woo hoo.
> I'm starting to feel deja vue with my current
> 'brain problems', difficulty thinking and focusing.
> I just happened to have a fleeting memory of my Prozac
> days. I remembered that one of the reasons I stopped
> taking Prozac was that I felt 'zoned out' meaning I was
> always feeling like I was between two thoughts; it
> was hard to get to the next one. It was hard to think.
> It used to annoy me when people would asked me a question
> because then I would have to try and think. I'm
> starting to feel this way now with the Luvox. I feel
> like my brain is in no-man's land, like if there were
> a box, there would be thoughts in the four corners
> but my brain is in the center, and it takes effort to
> capture those thoughts. I feel kinda dead inside,
> kinda apathetic, like I just don't care. Any
> have thoughts on this? I think I was taking 20 mg
> Prozac at the time and also Desyrel (a small dose) for
> sleep. Non, on the Luvox, I am tapering down, and have
> been taking 100 mg the past week. Is this feeling
> 'zoned out' a side effect of SSRI's?
> Who knows? I'm tired of wondering. I like to be
> informed, but can't seem to get any answers.
> I have began to wonder whether there are any answers.
> I wonder if I'm just not asking the right questions.
> Although, I heard someone say today that even if you
> ask all the right questions you might still not get an
> answer. :( No guarantees. :( Patience? Persistence?
> Perseverance? Do I have to go to medical school?
> There's probably a book out there, I just have to find
> it? Some people can just follow orders, I like to know
> how 'things' work. It would make accepting some of the
> these side effects easier, if I know what was causing
> them. Is blind acceptance the answer? Ignorance is
> bliss?
> Three years ago, I lost confidence/trust in my pdoc
> when I told him that the Nortriptyline was making me
> tachycardic, and he poo pooed the idea and told me that
> I was just anxious. :( Give me a break. I know when
> I'm anxious. I know what my normal heart rate is. Why
> couldn't he just say that one of the possible side
> effects of Nortriptyline is increased heart rate,
> instead of ignoring what I was saying? Seems like he
> was/is in denial. I lost trust in his ability to tell
> me the truth (especially on something so simple).
> End of story. Confidence lost. I can handle the truth.
> Did he believe what he was saying? Onward....
> In my case, the thought stopping properties of Prozac
> were welcome at first because I couldn't have the same
> negative, repetitive thoughts (and believe you me I
> tried to have them because that was what I was used to.
> But, it was liking to trying to pass a large turd...I
> was trying to squeeze out a negative thought (smile)).
> So, at first, I was kinda pleased, but then was not so
> pleased when I realized that not only couldn't have the
> negative thoughts but that it was hard just having any
> thoughts. There was a void, and I was hoping for some
> new thoughts to fill the void, but it was slow in
> happening. And the prozac made me feel this low grade
> agitation, which I tired of, a constant
> gnawing/grinding feeling.
> I know I probably need to find a support group to talk
> about this. That is to say, that this probably isn't
> the right place. But...my next ponderance/question is.
> .....
> Is there a 'relearning process' with these ADs? If
> you've lived your life (28 years) with untreated
> chronic depression intermixed with major depression
> and then go on ADs long term, does altered brain
> chemistry change things to make a person feel like they
> are 'starting over'? I've think I noticed that life is
> somehow different and I've had to 'relearn' some things
> I already knew. I know this is vague. I'd like to be
> more specific, but... I know that schizophrenics have
> to go through a relearning process because they some-
> times lose the ability to perform the simplest, routine
> task they've known how to do for years (take a bath,
> fix a meal, etc.). Could it be that if ADs improve
> one's cognitive functioning, the world is 'anew', then
> one has to relearn alot of the old stuff? Maybe not to the
> degree that schizophrenics have to relearn, but still
> to some lesser degree? Is this a real 'phenomenom' or
> am I making it up?
> I know you are out there. I can hear you breathing.
> Well, thanks for listening. Thanks in advance for any
> responses.
>

You are right on the money about both the heart
rate stuff and the SSRI "zone". My doc put me on
amitriptyline and I told him about the arrhythmias
I was having and he basically said lots of young
healthy people have arrhythmias and they are of
no consequence. Then I went on the web and dug up
all sorts of damning information about TCA's and
the heart. For me, these drugs work well for
depression, but since I have a heart murmur, I
really should not take them.

That's when I tried Zoloft. This drug first made me
hypomanic and I kept having to stop it, take
benzos (i.e. xanax) to sleep, then start it up. I
could never take the drug on an ongoing basis.
However, I noticed this strange lack of caring
about anything when this drug kicked in. I felt
all pumped-up with nowhere to go.

So now I'm medically awol and phasing in and out of life
with periods of intense energy and creativity and times
of depression. They cycle about every six weeks
and are a real pain. I'm about to go to a new
doc and based on my research, suggest something
along the lines of combined lithium-celexa or
gabapentin-effexor. My first doc had me doing
lithium-amitriptyline and that worked great
except I became a bloated cow with the IQ of
lichen...

Sean.

 

Re: Topless to the dumpster!! And other thoughts. Vent

Posted by LT on January 14, 1999, at 22:05:50

In reply to Re: Topless to the dumpster!! And other thoughts. Vent, posted by LT on January 14, 1999, at 21:53:33

> > Yes, I went topless to the garbage dumpster and about a
> > block to set some papers out for recycling. It was
> > 7 degrees above 0 and snowing, so, of course, I was
> > wearing a coat, but underneath I was as naked as a
> > jaybird!!! Ha ha ha. Won't try this in summer, though.
> > Might as well as some fun with these mundane tasks, eh?
> > I was quite proud of myself, as the garbage has been
> > piling up, and I have been intending to recycle that
> > bundle of newspapers, forever. Then, I even managed to
> > take a shower!! Woo hoo.
> > I'm starting to feel deja vue with my current
> > 'brain problems', difficulty thinking and focusing.
> > I just happened to have a fleeting memory of my Prozac
> > days. I remembered that one of the reasons I stopped
> > taking Prozac was that I felt 'zoned out' meaning I was
> > always feeling like I was between two thoughts; it
> > was hard to get to the next one. It was hard to think.
> > It used to annoy me when people would asked me a question
> > because then I would have to try and think. I'm
> > starting to feel this way now with the Luvox. I feel
> > like my brain is in no-man's land, like if there were
> > a box, there would be thoughts in the four corners
> > but my brain is in the center, and it takes effort to
> > capture those thoughts. I feel kinda dead inside,
> > kinda apathetic, like I just don't care. Any
> > have thoughts on this? I think I was taking 20 mg
> > Prozac at the time and also Desyrel (a small dose) for
> > sleep. Non, on the Luvox, I am tapering down, and have
> > been taking 100 mg the past week. Is this feeling
> > 'zoned out' a side effect of SSRI's?
> > Who knows? I'm tired of wondering. I like to be
> > informed, but can't seem to get any answers.
> > I have began to wonder whether there are any answers.
> > I wonder if I'm just not asking the right questions.
> > Although, I heard someone say today that even if you
> > ask all the right questions you might still not get an
> > answer. :( No guarantees. :( Patience? Persistence?
> > Perseverance? Do I have to go to medical school?
> > There's probably a book out there, I just have to find
> > it? Some people can just follow orders, I like to know
> > how 'things' work. It would make accepting some of the
> > these side effects easier, if I know what was causing
> > them. Is blind acceptance the answer? Ignorance is
> > bliss?
> > Three years ago, I lost confidence/trust in my pdoc
> > when I told him that the Nortriptyline was making me
> > tachycardic, and he poo pooed the idea and told me that
> > I was just anxious. :( Give me a break. I know when
> > I'm anxious. I know what my normal heart rate is. Why
> > couldn't he just say that one of the possible side
> > effects of Nortriptyline is increased heart rate,
> > instead of ignoring what I was saying? Seems like he
> > was/is in denial. I lost trust in his ability to tell
> > me the truth (especially on something so simple).
> > End of story. Confidence lost. I can handle the truth.
> > Did he believe what he was saying? Onward....
> > In my case, the thought stopping properties of Prozac
> > were welcome at first because I couldn't have the same
> > negative, repetitive thoughts (and believe you me I
> > tried to have them because that was what I was used to.
> > But, it was liking to trying to pass a large turd...I
> > was trying to squeeze out a negative thought (smile)).
> > So, at first, I was kinda pleased, but then was not so
> > pleased when I realized that not only couldn't have the
> > negative thoughts but that it was hard just having any
> > thoughts. There was a void, and I was hoping for some
> > new thoughts to fill the void, but it was slow in
> > happening. And the prozac made me feel this low grade
> > agitation, which I tired of, a constant
> > gnawing/grinding feeling.
> > I know I probably need to find a support group to talk
> > about this. That is to say, that this probably isn't
> > the right place. But...my next ponderance/question is.
> > .....
> > Is there a 'relearning process' with these ADs? If
> > you've lived your life (28 years) with untreated
> > chronic depression intermixed with major depression
> > and then go on ADs long term, does altered brain
> > chemistry change things to make a person feel like they
> > are 'starting over'? I've think I noticed that life is
> > somehow different and I've had to 'relearn' some things
> > I already knew. I know this is vague. I'd like to be
> > more specific, but... I know that schizophrenics have
> > to go through a relearning process because they some-
> > times lose the ability to perform the simplest, routine
> > task they've known how to do for years (take a bath,
> > fix a meal, etc.). Could it be that if ADs improve
> > one's cognitive functioning, the world is 'anew', then
> > one has to relearn alot of the old stuff? Maybe not to the
> > degree that schizophrenics have to relearn, but still
> > to some lesser degree? Is this a real 'phenomenom' or
> > am I making it up?
> > I know you are out there. I can hear you breathing.
> > Well, thanks for listening. Thanks in advance for any
> > responses.
> >


Hi Janice, well three times is a charm, my internet provider messed up right after I
was finished with the post, now I can't remember what all I said (imagine that, can't remember!). I have no brain either, I feel the same about happy events as I do about sad events, just a dry face at least. I'm currently taking Celexa and Buspar, not working, I think the addition of Buspar just makes me feel bitchy. Bitchy and depressed, grrr. I'm going to take the suggestion of my psychiatrist about ECT, after I fugure out how to pay for the balance after insurance pays! Why don't you consider it also, what have we got to loose??? Memory? Can't loose what isn't there, right?

 

Response to LT

Posted by Janice on January 15, 1999, at 6:17:47

In reply to Re: Topless to the dumpster!! And other thoughts. Vent, posted by LT on January 14, 1999, at 22:05:50

Hi LT:

I think the reason I went topless to the dumpster
was because I couldn't decide which top to wear,
solved the problem by just wearing nothing. In
the past, I probably would have let that minor
decision prevent me from taking out the garbage.

And speaking of garbage, when I was in a 'deep
funk' a couple of years ago I had the overwhelming
desire, among other things which I won't mention,
to dump a couple bags of garbage in the living
room floor and to lay down in the middle of it.
Thankfully, I feel better today, and, thankfully,
I'm glad I didn't act upon the urge.

Sometimes, I think about dying. I think about how
easy it would be to slip away, that noone would
notice 'cause I don't have that much to lose...
life on the edge.

> I have no brain either, I feel the same about
happy events as I do about sad events, just a
dry face at least. I'm currently taking Celexa
and Buspar, not working, I think the addition
of Buspar just makes me feel bitchy. Bitchy
and depressed, grrr.

A wonderful combination, eh? It's easier for a
man to be depressed? Woman are expected to be
smiley, talkative, congenial, and if we're not,
we're judged for it. Men can be stoic and that's
ok.

>I'm going to take the suggestion of my
psychiatrist about ECT, after I fugure out how
to pay for the balance after insurance pays!

Maybe you can pay off the balance a little at a
time, arrange a payment plan?

>Why don't you consider it also, what have we got
to loose??? Memory? Can't loose what isn't
there, right?

RIGHT!!!

ECT may be the answer. When I see my pdoc on the
26th, I'll ask him what he thinks about it. GULP!
On the 5th, I asked him about an MAO inhibitor, he
didn't say no, but suggested I try Celexa. So, I
guess, that's where I'm headed, unless he and I
decide differently.

ECT, to me, seems like the ultimate 'final
solution'. But, I guess, I have a lot of the old
preconceived notions of what it is. To tell you
the truth, the thought of it scares me. I am
going to try some nonmedicinal interventions this
year :
my CPAP machine :)
exercise
sleep hygiene
sunlight
diet
cognitive therapy
daily routines
and on and on

Maybe, I've been expecting too much from the
pills. I plan to pull out all the stops this
year. Can't make all of these changes at once,
so it will take time, but, at least I'm headed
somewhere, right? I guess I need to experiment to
see what helps and what doesn't. At this point,
I'm not totally hopeless; I've felt alot worse. I
just hope I can get this all going and keep it
going for awhile. Mind over matter? The depression
is an illusion? They say if you wait until you
'feel like it', you may never do it. Damn them.

If you decide upon the ECT, let us know how it
works out for you, ok? Best of luck.

 

Tops

Posted by Janice on January 16, 1999, at 3:56:41

In reply to Response to LT, posted by Janice on January 15, 1999, at 6:17:47

> I think the reason I couldn't decide on
which top was because they were all 'dirty'
and I was trying to figure out which one had
been worn the least. Taking out the garbage is a
dirty task, so it probably shouldn't have mattered
, anyway. Of course. there were clean tops in the
closet, but they were never up for consideration.

I'm on the low dose end of Luvox, 50 mg, for a few
more days then I will be drug free until I start
something else. Wish me luck.

 

Re: Response to LT

Posted by David K. on January 17, 1999, at 6:30:16

In reply to Response to LT, posted by Janice on January 15, 1999, at 6:17:47


> Sometimes, I think about dying. I think about how
> easy it would be to slip away, that noone would
> notice 'cause I don't have that much to lose...
> life on the edge.

I feel this way all the time! It seems like suicide is okay for me, but I wouldn't want anyone else to do it. I mean, I feel like I have NOTHING to lose, but if a friend told me THEY had NOTHING to lose, I'd say, "Ah, your thinking's just distorted. You've really got NOTHING?" and talk them into a less constricted way of thinking.
Wacky.

> > I have no brain either, I feel the same about
> happy events as I do about sad events, just a
> dry face at least. I'm currently taking Celexa
> and Buspar, not working, I think the addition
> of Buspar just makes me feel bitchy. Bitchy
> and depressed, grrr.

I'm not sure yet, but I think my mind is starting to go, too. I can't remember little things, when my memory used to a so good it was like a parlor trick. Just yesterday I was telling a friend a sotry, and trying to remember which friend of mine had told it to me/who it had happened to (and there ain't that many to pick from!) In the end I realized that I'd read it somewhere. Now (and later in the day yesterday) I can't even rememeber what the STORY was. This is unusual for me.
I also have trouble finding words, how I get if I haven't talked to anyone for a few days. Trouble is, that's not that case this time. Hmm.

> It's easier for aman to be depressed? Woman are expected to be
> smiley, talkative, congenial, and if we're not,
> we're judged for it. Men can be stoic and that's
> ok.

I totally agree. I know a guy at work who, when he's down, or just in a bad mood, he gets NASTY. But that's okay. People are just afraid of him and leave him alone. If it were a woman, though? Everyone would say, "What a bitch!"


 

Re: Tops

Posted by LT on January 18, 1999, at 14:04:18

In reply to Tops, posted by Janice on January 16, 1999, at 3:56:41


> > I think the reason I couldn't decide on
> which top was because they were all 'dirty'
> and I was trying to figure out which one had
> been worn the least. Taking out the garbage is a
> dirty task, so it probably shouldn't have mattered
> , anyway. Of course. there were clean tops in the
> closet, but they were never up for consideration.
> I'm on the low dose end of Luvox, 50 mg, for a few
> more days then I will be drug free until I start
> something else. Wish me luck.

Hi Janice, Drug free is really scary, at least for me it would be! What are you take at this point?? Are you able to work? I hope I'm not being too nosy! I manage to go to work everyday but I have been at my job for so long that I really don't have to test my brain a whole lot to get by, thank goodness! Hope you are O.K.,


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.