Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1047356

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Re: Psychobabble Reunion alexandra_k

Posted by HomelyCygnet on August 10, 2013, at 8:16:12

In reply to Re: Psychobabble Reunion, posted by alexandra_k on August 9, 2013, at 19:45:39

Thanks for explaining Alex. That was very touching.

 

Do you feel like Salome? I feel like Dinah

Posted by HomelyCygnet on August 10, 2013, at 8:20:34

In reply to Re: Psychobabble Reunion, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2013, at 17:11:12

John the Baptist

wait
wait no
don't tilt
the platter

SPLUNK

 

Re: Do you feel like Salome? I feel like HomelyCygnet

Posted by Dinah on August 10, 2013, at 20:47:45

In reply to Do you feel like Salome? I feel like Dinah, posted by HomelyCygnet on August 10, 2013, at 8:20:34

I don't want your head. I just hoped to feel safe on Psychology.

I'm off this thread, Cygnet. I don't much feel like doing a reunion anymore. I have too much real life going on right now for this.

 

Reunion

Posted by Dinah on August 10, 2013, at 20:50:50

In reply to Re: Psychobabble Reunion Dinah, posted by Twinleaf on August 9, 2013, at 18:57:27

I do think it would be lovely to meet up with people. But stuff is going on with my mother that has me at my limits. Hopefully someone else will pick up the idea. I'd be happy to attend.

 

Re: blocked for week HomelyCygnet

Posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 0:50:43

In reply to Re: Psychobabble Reunion Dr. Bob, posted by HomelyCygnet on August 10, 2013, at 6:53:55

> I've only been here since August 5 2013.

Please don't post information that you know to be false.

More information about posting policies is in the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce

Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: stuff going on Dinah

Posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 0:53:04

In reply to Reunion, posted by Dinah on August 10, 2013, at 20:50:50

> stuff is going on with my mother that has me at my limits.

What's going on with your mother? Could you use some support?

Bob

 

Re: stuff going on Dr. Bob

Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2013, at 10:08:56

In reply to Re: stuff going on Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 0:53:04

Thank you for asking, Dr. Bob.

It's sandwich generation problems that I've been dreading for many years, and coming to a head this month. I could use support, prayers, positive energy, whatever is offered. I feel responsibility without really having any power. And I haven't nearly enough will to deal with the situation.

 

Re: stuff going on

Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2013, at 14:32:23

In reply to Re: stuff going on Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on August 11, 2013, at 10:08:56

To keep it psychological, I think I have at last convinced my therapist that "I'm glad it's you, not me" is not as therapeutic as he thinks - despite the validation in his pitying looks.

 

Re: stuff going on Dinah

Posted by Partlycloudy on August 11, 2013, at 18:50:04

In reply to Re: stuff going on, posted by Dinah on August 11, 2013, at 14:32:23

> To keep it psychological, I think I have at last convinced my therapist that "I'm glad it's you, not me" is not as therapeutic as he thinks - despite the validation in his pitying looks.

I'm sorry, but that deserves a "snort".

I know what it is like to see a train coming the tracks for years, and to be helpless as to the outcome or how it could be better. Do you feel you have looked into every avenue? Bearing in mind her abode might end up demolished, no matter what happens?
Hugs to you, Dinah.
PC

 

Re: stuff going on

Posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 23:35:41

In reply to Re: stuff going on Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on August 11, 2013, at 10:08:56

> It's sandwich generation problems that I've been dreading for many years, and coming to a head this month. I could use support, prayers, positive energy, whatever is offered. I feel responsibility without really having any power. And I haven't nearly enough will to deal with the situation.

Try not to feel responsible for things you don't have any power over. Hoping you learn ways to cope and find the energy to persevere,

Bob

 

Re: blocked for week

Posted by alexandra_k on August 12, 2013, at 0:53:04

In reply to Re: blocked for week HomelyCygnet, posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 0:50:43

> > I've only been here since August 5 2013.
>
> Please don't post information that you know to be false.
>
> More information about posting policies is in the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
>
> Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Bob

I feel kinda uneasy about this one, too. It depends on how you view your posting name. For me... A new name was about an attempt at rebirth. At a new identity. I know we have to post to admin that we used to post... But aside from that... I thought we were entitled to (entitled to is not quite right) our personal views on identity around our posting names. And what that meant or signified to us.

 

Re: stuff going on Partlycloudy

Posted by Dinah on August 12, 2013, at 3:01:55

In reply to Re: stuff going on Dinah, posted by Partlycloudy on August 11, 2013, at 18:50:04

:)

I appreciated the sentiment he was aiming for, but the wording was unfortunate. He should never lead with "I'm glad it's you..." even if he was trying to point out that this time I wasn't catastrophizing. That what I was feeling was what your average person would feel in the situation.

I haven't looked into near enough avenues. It's difficult to plan with someone who doesn't want your help or input, but *will* be calling you for the inevitable emergencies (and probably quite a few non-emergencies as well.)

Responsibility with no power.

 

Thank. I'll *try*. (nm) Dr. Bob

Posted by Dinah on August 12, 2013, at 3:02:26

In reply to Re: stuff going on, posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 23:35:41

 

Re: stuff going on Dinah

Posted by Partlycloudy on August 12, 2013, at 7:48:37

In reply to Re: stuff going on Partlycloudy, posted by Dinah on August 12, 2013, at 3:01:55

> :)
>
> I appreciated the sentiment he was aiming for, but the wording was unfortunate. He should never lead with "I'm glad it's you..." even if he was trying to point out that this time I wasn't catastrophizing. That what I was feeling was what your average person would feel in the situation.
>

That's what I took from his statement. Sigh.


> I haven't looked into near enough avenues. It's difficult to plan with someone who doesn't want your help or input, but *will* be calling you for the inevitable emergencies (and probably quite a few non-emergencies as well.)
>
> Responsibility with no power.
>


Yes indeed. Been through this in the last couple of years, and paid for it with my peace of mind, my relationship with my husband's family, and state of mental health. None of it was good, really.

I cringe now when people tell me how "strong" I am.
PC

 

Re: stuff going on Partlycloudy

Posted by Dinah on August 12, 2013, at 12:07:08

In reply to Re: stuff going on Dinah, posted by Partlycloudy on August 12, 2013, at 7:48:37

> I cringe now when people tell me how "strong" I am.
> PC
>

I hate that too. It's one of those things that makes me feel even more the exact opposite.

Are things getting any easier with time?

I'm still afraid of my mother. She's good at getting angry, and I've never dealt well with anger.

I'll never forget when I went to some sort of community service program about dealing with anger. Silly me thought it was for dealing with other people's anger, while in reality it was about people dealing with their own rage. And I was the one they were worried about!! I still can't figure that out. I grew up with two parents who could sometimes be angry and volatile. Anger that appears uncontrolled scares me.

I say "appears". My mother once proudly told me how she'd used anger to control a situation with someone else. She apparently didn't realize that I figured that if she did it with others, she would do it with me.

 

Re: stuff going on Dinah

Posted by Partlycloudy on August 15, 2013, at 14:50:51

In reply to Re: stuff going on Partlycloudy, posted by Dinah on August 12, 2013, at 12:07:08

I have the same experience with anger. I handle my own - IRL - fairly well. On the Internet, I am a monster I don't recognize. But others' anger directed towards me personally IRL leaves me wanting to hide. For a long time. And not subject myself to the circumstances again, because it is so traumatizing.
Ah, childhood. So hard to leave behind some of those entrenched emotions and reactions.
(((Dinah)))

 

Re: stuff going on

Posted by alexandra_k on August 15, 2013, at 22:52:13

In reply to Re: stuff going on Dinah, posted by Partlycloudy on August 15, 2013, at 14:50:51

I have been starting to wonder about whether Olympic Weightlifting is a good choice of physical exercise for me. I'm attracted to sports involving power - a sudden burst of explosive strength. But then... I'm not sure that it does my temperament much good. Reinforces... Strengthen... Condones... Encourages... the loose cannon aspect of my nature...

 

Re: stuff going on alexandra_k

Posted by Partlycloudy on August 16, 2013, at 14:02:45

In reply to Re: stuff going on, posted by alexandra_k on August 15, 2013, at 22:52:13

I stay away from any competitive experience altogether. Don't even play board games, because of the horrific shouting I've endured from my ex.
I do yoga.
I look at the water.
I walk.
I am a total wimp.
That's OK, too.

 

Re: stuff going on

Posted by alexandra_k on August 20, 2013, at 21:39:39

In reply to Re: stuff going on alexandra_k, posted by Partlycloudy on August 16, 2013, at 14:02:45

It certainly isn't much fun playing with people who are sore losers. Yoga sounds like fun. I do it in group fitness, but have been having trouble finding a non-competitive instructor and the other people in the class tend to become competitive if the instructor is. I don't actually give a sh*t about how flexible other peoples hamstrings are... I don't even give much of a sh*t about hamstring flexibility more generally... I had a wonderful yoga teacher in Aussie though, learned a lot about my body from it... Made a lot of progress on my posture etc... I miss it a great deal.

I wonder what your passion might be... I suspect everyone has one... Somewhere. At least one... Probably the potential for lots of different ones...

 

Thank you Dr. Bob

Posted by Dinah on August 21, 2013, at 8:38:21

In reply to Re: stuff going on, posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 23:35:41

> Try not to feel responsible for things you don't have any power over. Hoping you learn ways to cope and find the energy to persevere,
>
> Bob

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130811/msgs/1049420.html

I started a new thread, because it didn't seem "Psychology" related. But I wanted to make sure that you saw I thanked you. What you said was one of those little things that niggle in the subconscious before clarifying a situation.

I realized that I can only change myself, and can only choose either to get involved, or to feel responsible, but not both. My mother doesn't want me to get involved, so I have clarified the limits of my responsibility under those circumstances. That's really all I had the power to do.

Thanks for your part in my Ah Hah! experience.

(Hmmm... Maybe it is "Psychological" since one of the ways my therapist tends to help me is by implanting those ideas. Not this time. He's overwhelmed by my mother too.)

 

Re: you're welcome (nm) Dinah

Posted by Dr. Bob on August 22, 2013, at 0:12:14

In reply to Thank you Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on August 21, 2013, at 8:38:21

 

Re: blocked for week alexandra_k

Posted by homelycygnet on August 22, 2013, at 8:19:21

In reply to Re: blocked for week, posted by alexandra_k on August 12, 2013, at 0:53:04

Thanks Alex. That was my understanding too.

>
> I feel kinda uneasy about this one, too. It depends on how you view your posting name. For me... A new name was about an attempt at rebirth. At a new identity. I know we have to post to admin that we used to post... But aside from that... I thought we were entitled to (entitled to is not quite right) our personal views on identity around our posting names. And what that meant or signified to us.
>
>

 

The moon is made of green cheese (nm) Dr. Bob

Posted by HomelyCygnet on August 22, 2013, at 8:21:27

In reply to Re: blocked for week HomelyCygnet, posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2013, at 0:50:43

 

Re: lol (nm) HomelyCygnet

Posted by Dr. Bob on August 23, 2013, at 11:28:53

In reply to The moon is made of green cheese (nm) Dr. Bob, posted by HomelyCygnet on August 22, 2013, at 8:21:27

 

Re: lol?? If this unusual exuberance keeps up Dr. Bob

Posted by HomelyCygnet on August 24, 2013, at 10:59:24

In reply to Re: lol (nm) HomelyCygnet, posted by Dr. Bob on August 23, 2013, at 11:28:53

you'll need to remove the "reticent" from your signature ;)


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