Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 810929

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 26. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

D*amn if you do and if you don't..........

Posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 19:48:44

You know sometimes I just feel d*amn if I do and d*amn it I don't. I just can't get anything right. I guess I try to hard.

No matter the venue, I think in the end, it winds up I either try to hard or not enough depending on the view of the other party involved. I say enough.
I have had enough of trying.

I am sorry I am not enough anymore.
rsk

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos

Posted by Happyflower on February 5, 2008, at 20:45:47

In reply to D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 19:48:44

Speaking for myself, you have been wonderful to me and helped me so much. You have a way to calm me down and make me laugh, that is a very good quality to have. And to think you do this for your friends when you are going through your own stuff, it amazing to me. ((((((((((((((((Rk))))))))

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos

Posted by RealMe on February 5, 2008, at 23:09:31

In reply to D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 19:48:44

I think it is important to take care of yourself first. I know for me if I don't take care of me first, then I am no good to anyone else. This will be especially true now that I won't have my T. He is going to see if he can help me find someone else who is less expensive. I just can't afford three times per week let alone twice per week, and he does not think once per week would benefit me. So, I know I have to think of myself now first and others second. My work is triggering enough as it is.

RealMe

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos

Posted by Bodhisattva on February 6, 2008, at 0:09:09

In reply to D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 19:48:44

You sound like you need something to take your mind off things. Grab a shovel and come help me dig a hole in this lake.

We are all small grains of sand trying to change the tide. Time is always against us and our goals always outnumber us. Which is why we must choose our battles carefully and rejoice with every victory and defeat.

Wait....did he just say rejoice with every defeat?

Yep, I did( I also referred to myself in the third person. ). Because even though the final outcome wasn't the chosen one, everything done up to it was a small step in the right direction. Those things still happened.

So, you say you aren't enough? You're plenty for me. And I'm sure that if you ask around you'll find that opinion a popular one. Especially to those that really matter in your life.

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't..........

Posted by Daisym on February 6, 2008, at 2:00:52

In reply to D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 19:48:44

Want to be more specific? Did something happen in therapy today?

I'm sorry you feel you aren't enough. No one ever is for anyone else, we can only be for ourselves. And you are working so hard to do that for you.

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos

Posted by star008 on February 6, 2008, at 6:20:16

In reply to D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 19:48:44

You are enough rsk.. You always have been. Try not to judge yourself by what other people think you should do.. You do what feels right to you at the time..That is all any of us can do.sometimes I feel like everything I touch goes to sh**t

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... star008

Posted by RealMe on February 6, 2008, at 7:47:42

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos, posted by star008 on February 6, 2008, at 6:20:16

Don't feel bad; I feel the same way. Lots of people here don't really know me except through interactions last year. I have been with another group that left me feeling like crap because of what it did to others here sometimes through me and now to me too.

RealMe

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... Happyflower

Posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 8:27:22

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos, posted by Happyflower on February 5, 2008, at 20:45:47

Thanks Happyflower, I try but sometimes I think I do this to avoid my stuff so it isn't all that amazing it is avoidance...but if you want to think it is amazing who am I to stop you LOL rsk

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... Bodhisattva

Posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 8:29:41

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos, posted by Bodhisattva on February 6, 2008, at 0:09:09

Bodhisattva, so where is the lake? I do need something to take my mind off things. And in my part of the country I am going to have to build an arc soon, or practice my swimming moves..

Thanks for the plenty sentiment..I hope you are right about everyone else. i wasn't fishing for compliments but they are nice to hear. I think I must also learn to think this for myself about myself. That is hard. I need to matter to me as well.

rsk

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... Daisym

Posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 8:30:42

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by Daisym on February 6, 2008, at 2:00:52

No Daisym. it was in life..therapy is today.

Maybe it will help..thanks for answering.rsk

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... star008

Posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 8:32:05

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos, posted by star008 on February 6, 2008, at 6:20:16

Star, it is always easier to say don't judge, then to do that isn't it.
I do the what feels right problem is, it usually backfires. I seems I am not enough because there isn't enough to go around sometimes. Be all to all.. you know. rsk

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... RealMe

Posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 8:33:19

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos, posted by RealMe on February 5, 2008, at 23:09:31

Realme, I am not sure I always know how to take care of me, and the time to do so, is not my own. Plus there seems to be too many mes....lol rsk

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't..........

Posted by B2chica on February 6, 2008, at 10:04:50

In reply to D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 19:48:44

rk
a while back i wrote a poem exactly this. i just felt that i was innately flawed. of course i took it to a deep level of depression.
please don't take it that far.

because you ARE enough. you are beautiful, funny, caring, and very very smart. you give such good caring advice to those you don't even know.
but i wanted you to know that you are not alone. and that sometimes. we do feel totally cr@pped on no matter what we do.

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20071223/msgs/811032.html

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... B2chica

Posted by RealMe on February 6, 2008, at 10:12:11

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by B2chica on February 6, 2008, at 10:04:50

I agree with B2; you are a wonderful person, and I am glad I know you from babble and mailings.

RealMe

 

**poem trigger** B2chica

Posted by B2chica on February 6, 2008, at 10:20:41

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by B2chica on February 6, 2008, at 10:04:50

sorry the poem could be triggering for some, maybe i shouldn't have posted it.

 

thnx Realme...need that today. (nm) RealMe

Posted by B2chica on February 6, 2008, at 10:21:21

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... B2chica, posted by RealMe on February 6, 2008, at 10:12:11

 

Re: **poem trigger**

Posted by Phillipa on February 6, 2008, at 12:40:47

In reply to **poem trigger** B2chica, posted by B2chica on February 6, 2008, at 10:20:41

Rsk you're a wonderful person always helpful see you on other boards too. Phillipa

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don'ttriggers!!! B2chica

Posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 13:08:03

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by B2chica on February 6, 2008, at 10:04:50

Oh B2C that is a beautiful poem and especially great to come back to after an awful therapy session when I felt I wasn't a great patient. I was enough of a patient to keep him from being puzzled or awake. I can't explain my new dissociative states. And the flashbacks forget them, I can't explain them except to cry at the terror I feel. I see scary men and forms. And alot going on I can't explain. And he looks scary but leaves me hanging at the end and I want to throw up and say FORGET THERAPY. I can't take it as it brings on new dissociation. I left for a brief while because explaining how it feels does this to me and how do I explain that
WTF I don't know anymore. I want off this particular merry go round. And he says we need to meet more often but I don't go until Monday and I scare _ _ck monday.....sorry I am hurting now and feel like therapy left me naked with my clothes hanging on the line someplace else. And I don't like that feeling that is for sure...But i do love your poem

rsk

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't........REalme

Posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 13:09:37

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... B2chica, posted by RealMe on February 6, 2008, at 10:12:11

Thanks so much, I appreciate it alot especially now...therapy sucks and I think I am hanging up my membership. rsk

 

Re: **poem trigger**therapy sucked today Phillipa

Posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 13:13:18

In reply to Re: **poem trigger**, posted by Phillipa on February 6, 2008, at 12:40:47

Thanks Phillipa, i needed to hear that as therapy really hurt today and left me hanging and a hurtin' today. Nice to know I have friends and you guys may be my only therapist s in the upcoming future. I just don't see the point anymore. rsk

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos

Posted by star008 on February 6, 2008, at 21:42:46

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... star008, posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 8:32:05

I know RSk.. It is always easier to say things than to acutally do them..We are so hard on ourselves sometimes..I wish all our problems and junk would just go way and we could be "normal" like everyone else. But I think you are enough to some people>>>like me;)

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... star008

Posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 22:45:49

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos, posted by star008 on February 6, 2008, at 21:42:46

Thanks Star...I wonder what it is like to be normal. I wonder what it really feels like. It would be nice to take this junk and just throw it in a trash can somewhere and walk away. Thanks alot. I really appreciate your reply you are sweet. I am thinking of sending my T an email and telling him how exactly i felt after todays session. rsk

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... rskontos

Posted by MissK on February 7, 2008, at 20:35:47

In reply to D*amn if you do and if you don't.........., posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 19:48:44

There's an expression, Rsk : don't sweat the small stuff, and most of it is small stuff - something like that, anyway.

>depending on the view of the other party involved. I am sorry I am not enough anymore.

I don't know who these 'other parties' are or what this 'being enough' is about, but most people are working on their own issues in life and that includes family members. And though it may seem like it and others may have you think it - it's not all about you. I don't say that in a mean way. I find it takes alot of pressure off my mind when I realize that it isn't all about me. Many times, I've found it has very little to do with me and what I say or do.

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... RealMe

Posted by rskontos on February 7, 2008, at 21:44:30

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don't.......... star008, posted by RealMe on February 6, 2008, at 7:47:42

Realme, is this right? and you know what I mean?

 

Re: D*amn if you do and if you don'ttriggers!!! rskontos

Posted by RealMe on February 7, 2008, at 23:54:30

In reply to Re: D*amn if you do and if you don'ttriggers!!! B2chica, posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 13:08:03

I have been where you are at, and I know how scarey it is. Even with current T, I saw him in a flash, and he was doing some sort of what seemed like a demonic lauch,and I had to go back to sitting as far a way as possible from him. Can't give up; need to write it down if necessary and share with him by reading it or just giving it to him. Seriously, I used to do that at Menninger's, and now I have all those things I wrote, and they are weird some of them. I can't believe I felt that way, but good I shared it as it helped them help me.

RealMe


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