Psycho-Babble Administration Thread 537930

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Re: please be civil Nickengland wildcard

Posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2005, at 0:11:47

In reply to how distasteful!!!! gabbii, posted by wildcard on August 6, 2005, at 19:33:23

> I dont think you quite take the whole train wreck thing seriously
>
> Nickengland

> i hope that Dr.Bob looks at your timing w/ that remark and see's it for what it is...a way to try and go between the lines and say something that horrible.
>
> wildcard

Please don't jump to conclusions about others or post anything that could lead them to feel accused.

If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil

Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: Dr.Bob Dr. Bob

Posted by wildcard on August 8, 2005, at 0:46:58

In reply to Re: please be civil Nickengland wildcard, posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2005, at 0:11:47

i totally understand and expected that Dr.Bob and since i had nothing further to say, i no longer posted RE: that subject. i plan to not post to anything if i feel it wouldn't be supportive and post to the things that i hope i can offer support. i do hope the emails make sense :) thanx

 

Re: please be civil Dr. Bob

Posted by Nickengland on August 8, 2005, at 8:01:34

In reply to Re: please be civil Nickengland wildcard, posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2005, at 0:11:47

Hello Dr. Bob

Interesting PBC, that said I understand the concept, whilst also knowing the dangers and uncivilness of a terrerist bomb.

The overall goal is peace though, so in this circumstance, sorry if anyone felt accused.

Kind regards

Nick

 

Re: Please Be Civil Nickengland

Posted by gabbi on August 8, 2005, at 21:46:11

In reply to Please Be Civil gabbii, posted by Nickengland on August 6, 2005, at 19:31:35

> I dont think you quite take the whole train wreck thing seriously gabbi.
>
You know Nick, I think that was unfair.
I've been a victim of violence, more times than I care to remember, I often hear common expressions that indirectly refer to it.
"I could just strangle her" is one.
And though I don't think it's necessarily good to become immured to the actual meaning behind what we say casually, there's a difference between pointing it out how it can affect someone, and assuming the intent was to be hurtful, or that the person saying it takes tragedy casually.
What I had said was that I'd heard the admin board referred to as a train wreck before, and a car accident, (People often say that "it's like a car accident, so horrible, but you can't take your eyes off it"
but I'd not heard a reaction like I had yours. It's true I had not.

I think inferring from that, that I don't take human tragedy seriously, even when it isn't close to home, (when in fact it leaves me more shaken than others I know) well.. it was quite a stretch, and it was wrong.

>
>

 

Re: thanks wildcard (nm) Nickengland

Posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2005, at 23:06:02

In reply to Re: please be civil Dr. Bob, posted by Nickengland on August 8, 2005, at 8:01:34

 

Re: Please Be Civil gabbi

Posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 5:33:07

In reply to Re: Please Be Civil Nickengland, posted by gabbi on August 8, 2005, at 21:46:11

I thought you blocked yourself? Nevermind.

The world goes round in circles, cycles, everything seems to go round in circles, in some way or another, even down the cycle of mental illness, seasonal affective disorder, bipolar disorder etc.

I wish I could break some cycles, because like the cycle of the illness I suffer from, it really gets me down every now and then.

 

Ending the Cycle. gabbi

Posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 8:29:03

In reply to Re: Please Be Civil Nickengland, posted by gabbi on August 8, 2005, at 21:46:11

>I think inferring from that, that I don't take human tragedy seriously, even when it isn't close to home, (when in fact it leaves me more shaken than others I know) well.. it was quite a stretch, and it was wrong.

You think inferring.....and it (me) was wrong.

Someone looks at the news, sees something political and views their opinon as sometimes saying,
"hey, I think thats wrong"

Another person comes along, see the exact same thing as the previous person, as views their opinon, and says "hey, I think thats right"

Is it wrong?

Is it right?

Round and round they could go...I wish I could break the cycle of things sometimes.

I think people at the end of the day are all more or less the same, we're all human at least.

Deep down I bet you're a really wonderful loving person.

How to break a cycle?

Gabbi, I think...

I love you.

 

Dr. Bob

Posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 8:32:41

In reply to Ending the Cycle. gabbi, posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 8:29:03


> Deep down I bet you're a really wonderful loving person.

Dr. Bob, I think that this implies that on the surface, she's not, and that implication doesn't seem civil. You've PBC'd Nick twice recently, so what comes next?

 

Dr. Bob

Posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 9:18:24

In reply to Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 8:32:41

>Dr. Bob, I think that this implies that on the surface, she's not, and that implication doesn't seem civil.

Dr Bob,

On the surface I was implying I think shes a wonderful loving person. Why am I being tripped up just for saying "deep down"? (I actually thought by saying that I was making the situation better and her feel better) I wasn't implying that she wasn't a wonderful person at all.

I'm trying to end this cycle of dispute. I'm trying really hard to make amends here.

>You've PBC'd Nick twice recently, so what comes next?

At the end of my message I said "I love you", Dr Bob

I'm trying extreamly hard to make peace with those I have upset, in the best way I can by using the three words in the world that are "I love you"

If you are unable to see my intentions are simply to break the cycle of any dispute or bad feeling here and I get blocked because of this, then, I will resign from this site and no longer post here indefinately. In essence, I will block myself for life. I'll leave this decision in the hands of those who wish to take this further.

Deep regrets, because this site has helped me so much, but now I dont really feel as though I am gaining support much longer.

Nick

 

Re: Dr. Bob/ hey NIck

Posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 9:50:07

In reply to Dr. Bob, posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 9:18:24

Hey Nick...sometimes you alone cannot break a cycle no matter if u try so it's best to just let it be! I know that u are from England and tend to say things a bit different than *people* in the states so instead of taking the chance on a block, just don't post back. i dont keep up w/ ur PBC's-when did u get another?? Yeah Dr.Bob wanted you to try and work things out but i would hate to see you receive a block over a disagreement that has been over. Oh did u read my story,"The calm before the storm"?. I havn't put it on writing yet so give me ur feedback-email or babble if u want :) Love u too

 

Re: Dr. Bob

Posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 9:54:01

In reply to Re: Dr. Bob/ hey NIck, posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 9:50:07

Hey Dr.Bob-if u have received my email then the thread above is another example. Thanx again.

 

Re: Ending the Cycle. Nickengland

Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2005, at 10:48:55

In reply to Ending the Cycle. gabbi, posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 8:29:03

I saw the conciliation in your post, Nick.

I'm sure we can assume that you meant deep down within yourself you know that Gabbi is a wonderful person.

Or that her surface wonderfulness is so obvious to all (as indeed it is) that you are just affirming that that surface wonderfulness is also bone deep and not a bit superficial.

Which as a long time friend of Gabbi's, I can attest that it is. I've never met anyone so able to be compassionate, certainly not myself.

We all say things that come out in a way we never intended. In fact there was another case of that, which we have luckily convinced Gabbi was not at all worth blocking herself for, since it was inadvertant and she apologized when she realized the timing made it sound differently than she had intended.

I think that ending the cycle includes accepting the possibility that well meaning people can have misunderstandings, and that they can be repaired. Not always with more words, since if you're anything like me you might find yourself getting in deeper and deeper with every word spoken. :)

Shall we call this entire last few days a series of misunderstandings that everyone regrets and move on from there?

That's not directed at you specifically, Nick. It's just a rhetorical sort of suggestion.

 

What you say makes sense. Dinah

Posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 11:01:39

In reply to Re: Ending the Cycle. Nickengland, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2005, at 10:48:55


And you are a talented mediator.

 

Re: Ending the Cycle. Dinah

Posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 11:29:08

In reply to Re: Ending the Cycle. Nickengland, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2005, at 10:48:55

Yes Dinah, it is time to put all of this behind us. The way you approach it does not sound *challenging* and i think it will be much more effective than other approaches. To my knowledge Nick feels he cannot get his point out w/o offending someone and he doesn't want to do that. I can see his point as well as others and i hope this ends. It takes more effort to argue back and forth than to get along or be civil.

 

Re: Ending the Cycle. Dinah

Posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 12:25:50

In reply to Re: Ending the Cycle. Nickengland, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2005, at 10:48:55

Thanks Dinah, I cannot express how much I appreciate those kinds words...so very comforting and gently expressed...

I'm feeling quite depressed, I really don't know what has come over me the past few days. I've been up and down (I'm bipolar) but now I seemed to have leveled off, just in a depressive state. It was round about this time last year I got ill. Speaking of cycles, I really don't know if thats got anything to do with it. I'm coping though.

Thanks once again, I might try, when my moods seems to have settled down, to try and produce some creative writing - on the writing board.

Best Wishes

Nick

 

Re: Ending the Cycle. Nickengland

Posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 12:46:54

In reply to Re: Ending the Cycle. Dinah, posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 12:25:50

Awww Nick-why didnt u tell me? that's what friends are for! i have my ups and downs too and may need u sometime. i'm here if u need anything-a shoulder to lean on or just an ear. i know it's even harder w/ all going on over there but please know that u have me ok? Luv u :)

 

Re: If it makes a difference Nickengland

Posted by AuntieMel on August 9, 2005, at 13:32:54

In reply to Re: Ending the Cycle. Dinah, posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 12:25:50

This american knew what you were saying.

 

Re: Ending the Cycle.

Posted by gabbi on August 9, 2005, at 13:37:22

In reply to Ending the Cycle. gabbi, posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 8:29:03

> >I think inferring from that, that I don't take human tragedy seriously, even when it isn't close to home, (when in fact it leaves me more shaken than others I know) well.. it was quite a stretch, and it was wrong.
>
> You think inferring.....and it (me) was wrong.
>
> Someone looks at the news, sees something political and views their opinon as sometimes saying,
> "hey, I think thats wrong"
>
> Another person comes along, see the exact same thing as the previous person, as views their opinon, and says "hey, I think thats right"

Yes, but this is *me* and you made an inference about me, and it wasn't right. That's the only wrong I was referring too. If I said "Nick, I think you like to hurt people" you could say I was wrong, after all you know you.

> How to break a cycle?
>
> Gabbi, I think...

I love you..

aww, okay, just remember it might not work with ALL the girls. : )

 

Thank you Dinah

Posted by gabbi on August 9, 2005, at 13:40:30

In reply to Re: If it makes a difference Nickengland, posted by AuntieMel on August 9, 2005, at 13:32:54

Thank you so much, sometimes it's impossible to have any credibilty defending oneself, about something so personal.
You're the best..
(once again, you've left me speecheless.)

 

Re: If it makes a difference AuntieMel

Posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 13:45:17

In reply to Re: If it makes a difference Nickengland, posted by AuntieMel on August 9, 2005, at 13:32:54


I've just always seen "deep down" used as what they call a "backhanded compliment" so I understood it as such. But I will take Nick at his word that he didn't mean it that way.

 

Re: Thank you Dinah gabbi

Posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 13:46:22

In reply to Thank you Dinah, posted by gabbi on August 9, 2005, at 13:40:30


i know, isn't she just amazing?

 

i think it's time for....

Posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 13:46:54

In reply to Re: Thank you Dinah gabbi, posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 13:46:22


our daily dinah fan club meeting!

 

Re: If it makes a difference/ it did :) AuntieMel

Posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 13:47:19

In reply to Re: If it makes a difference Nickengland, posted by AuntieMel on August 9, 2005, at 13:32:54

i wanna say thank you. it will help his spirits!

 

Re: i think it's time for.... crushedout

Posted by gabbi on August 9, 2005, at 13:52:38

In reply to i think it's time for...., posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 13:46:54

>
> our daily dinah fan club meeting!
>
>
Yes, originally I took the comment the same way you did.. but Dinah to the rescue.

I love you Dinah.
And Crushed..
Marry me?

 

Re: i think it's time for.... gabbi

Posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 14:03:19

In reply to Re: i think it's time for.... crushedout, posted by gabbi on August 9, 2005, at 13:52:38


where's my ring?


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