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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 32 to 56 of 81. Go back in thread:
Posted by wildcard on August 6, 2005, at 19:57:26
In reply to Re: how distasteful!!!! » wildcard, posted by gabbii on August 6, 2005, at 19:47:51
Posted by wildcard on August 6, 2005, at 20:00:18
In reply to excuse me » wildcard, posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 19:53:06
it refers to gabbi's remark; your the bomb.
Posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:02:01
In reply to Re: excuse me, posted by wildcard on August 6, 2005, at 20:00:18
and what are you trying to imply about her when you say "consider the source"?
Posted by wildcard on August 6, 2005, at 20:04:31
In reply to Re: excuse me » wildcard, posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:02:01
exactly what it states.
Posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:13:26
In reply to DNP to me anymore » crushedout, posted by wildcard on August 6, 2005, at 20:04:31
I think her comment "consider the source" could lead gabbi to feel put down. It seems to imply something negative about gabbi, don't you agree?
I'd ask wildcard myself but she's asked me not to post to her, presumably because she doesn't like my questions? (I tried to work it out instead of "running to the teacher," by asking what she meant, but...oh well. It didn't work.)
> exactly what it states.
Posted by gabbii on August 6, 2005, at 20:20:53
In reply to Please ask wildcard to be civil-Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:13:26
Though I can't agree with Wildcards assessment of my intention, or my character, I'll apologize again for how that came across.
I'd intended to apologize after Crushed pointed out to me in A Babblemail how it looked, but Wildcard had already posted about it.It's a common expression, I use it frequently, and well it's not my first experience with mind bogglingly stupid things coming out of my mouth..or across my monitor.
Posted by gabbii on August 6, 2005, at 20:22:08
In reply to Please ask wildcard to be civil-Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:13:26
> I think her comment "consider the source" could lead gabbi to feel put down.
I suppose in theory...
Posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:23:19
In reply to Well then..., posted by gabbii on August 6, 2005, at 20:20:53
i definitely didn't think you did it intentionally, gabbi. i thought you were just trying to make me feel better in case i was feeling attacked.
Posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:24:49
In reply to Re: Please ask wildcard to be civil-Dr. Bob » crushedout, posted by gabbii on August 6, 2005, at 20:22:08
I'm glad if it didn't, gabbi! (did it?)regardless, i think it's important to stay civil. some people have thick skins, but that's no reason to have lower standards for posts directed at those people. wouldn't you agree?
Posted by gabbii on August 6, 2005, at 20:25:07
In reply to Re: Well then... » gabbii, posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:23:19
>
> i definitely didn't think you did it intentionally, gabbi. i thought you were just trying to make me feel better in case i was feeling attacked.Thanks much,
You're the bbbbbbbbbbest?
Posted by gabbii on August 6, 2005, at 20:31:20
In reply to Re: Please ask wildcard to be civil-Dr. Bob » gabbii, posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:24:49
>
> I'm glad if it didn't, gabbi! (did it?)
>
Noooooo.. actually I think it was one of those self defeating comments.> regardless, i think it's important to stay civil. some people have thick skins, but that's no reason to have lower standards for posts directed at those people. wouldn't you agree?
Yes. I do.
I agree with everything you say, always, all the time..
I'm kidding, of course I agree.
Posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:36:32
In reply to Re: Please ask wildcard to be civil-Dr. Bob » crushedout, posted by gabbii on August 6, 2005, at 20:31:20
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2005, at 0:09:53
In reply to wanna get married and stuff? :) (nm) » gabbii, posted by crushedout on August 6, 2005, at 20:36:32
> wanna get married and stuff? :)
Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding getting married and stuff to Psycho-Babble Relationships. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050724/msgs/538954.html
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2005, at 0:11:47
In reply to how distasteful!!!! » gabbii, posted by wildcard on August 6, 2005, at 19:33:23
> I dont think you quite take the whole train wreck thing seriously
>
> Nickengland> i hope that Dr.Bob looks at your timing w/ that remark and see's it for what it is...a way to try and go between the lines and say something that horrible.
>
> wildcardPlease don't jump to conclusions about others or post anything that could lead them to feel accused.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by wildcard on August 8, 2005, at 0:46:58
In reply to Re: please be civil » Nickengland » wildcard, posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2005, at 0:11:47
i totally understand and expected that Dr.Bob and since i had nothing further to say, i no longer posted RE: that subject. i plan to not post to anything if i feel it wouldn't be supportive and post to the things that i hope i can offer support. i do hope the emails make sense :) thanx
Posted by Nickengland on August 8, 2005, at 8:01:34
In reply to Re: please be civil » Nickengland » wildcard, posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2005, at 0:11:47
Hello Dr. Bob
Interesting PBC, that said I understand the concept, whilst also knowing the dangers and uncivilness of a terrerist bomb.
The overall goal is peace though, so in this circumstance, sorry if anyone felt accused.
Kind regards
Nick
Posted by gabbi on August 8, 2005, at 21:46:11
In reply to Please Be Civil » gabbii, posted by Nickengland on August 6, 2005, at 19:31:35
> I dont think you quite take the whole train wreck thing seriously gabbi.
>
You know Nick, I think that was unfair.
I've been a victim of violence, more times than I care to remember, I often hear common expressions that indirectly refer to it.
"I could just strangle her" is one.
And though I don't think it's necessarily good to become immured to the actual meaning behind what we say casually, there's a difference between pointing it out how it can affect someone, and assuming the intent was to be hurtful, or that the person saying it takes tragedy casually.
What I had said was that I'd heard the admin board referred to as a train wreck before, and a car accident, (People often say that "it's like a car accident, so horrible, but you can't take your eyes off it"
but I'd not heard a reaction like I had yours. It's true I had not.I think inferring from that, that I don't take human tragedy seriously, even when it isn't close to home, (when in fact it leaves me more shaken than others I know) well.. it was quite a stretch, and it was wrong.
>
>
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2005, at 23:06:02
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by Nickengland on August 8, 2005, at 8:01:34
Posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 5:33:07
In reply to Re: Please Be Civil » Nickengland, posted by gabbi on August 8, 2005, at 21:46:11
I thought you blocked yourself? Nevermind.
The world goes round in circles, cycles, everything seems to go round in circles, in some way or another, even down the cycle of mental illness, seasonal affective disorder, bipolar disorder etc.
I wish I could break some cycles, because like the cycle of the illness I suffer from, it really gets me down every now and then.
Posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 8:29:03
In reply to Re: Please Be Civil » Nickengland, posted by gabbi on August 8, 2005, at 21:46:11
>I think inferring from that, that I don't take human tragedy seriously, even when it isn't close to home, (when in fact it leaves me more shaken than others I know) well.. it was quite a stretch, and it was wrong.
You think inferring.....and it (me) was wrong.
Someone looks at the news, sees something political and views their opinon as sometimes saying,
"hey, I think thats wrong"Another person comes along, see the exact same thing as the previous person, as views their opinon, and says "hey, I think thats right"
Is it wrong?
Is it right?
Round and round they could go...I wish I could break the cycle of things sometimes.
I think people at the end of the day are all more or less the same, we're all human at least.
Deep down I bet you're a really wonderful loving person.
How to break a cycle?
Gabbi, I think...
I love you.
Posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 8:32:41
In reply to Ending the Cycle. » gabbi, posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 8:29:03
> Deep down I bet you're a really wonderful loving person.Dr. Bob, I think that this implies that on the surface, she's not, and that implication doesn't seem civil. You've PBC'd Nick twice recently, so what comes next?
Posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 9:18:24
In reply to Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on August 9, 2005, at 8:32:41
>Dr. Bob, I think that this implies that on the surface, she's not, and that implication doesn't seem civil.
Dr Bob,
On the surface I was implying I think shes a wonderful loving person. Why am I being tripped up just for saying "deep down"? (I actually thought by saying that I was making the situation better and her feel better) I wasn't implying that she wasn't a wonderful person at all.
I'm trying to end this cycle of dispute. I'm trying really hard to make amends here.
>You've PBC'd Nick twice recently, so what comes next?
At the end of my message I said "I love you", Dr Bob
I'm trying extreamly hard to make peace with those I have upset, in the best way I can by using the three words in the world that are "I love you"
If you are unable to see my intentions are simply to break the cycle of any dispute or bad feeling here and I get blocked because of this, then, I will resign from this site and no longer post here indefinately. In essence, I will block myself for life. I'll leave this decision in the hands of those who wish to take this further.
Deep regrets, because this site has helped me so much, but now I dont really feel as though I am gaining support much longer.
Nick
Posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 9:50:07
In reply to Dr. Bob, posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 9:18:24
Hey Nick...sometimes you alone cannot break a cycle no matter if u try so it's best to just let it be! I know that u are from England and tend to say things a bit different than *people* in the states so instead of taking the chance on a block, just don't post back. i dont keep up w/ ur PBC's-when did u get another?? Yeah Dr.Bob wanted you to try and work things out but i would hate to see you receive a block over a disagreement that has been over. Oh did u read my story,"The calm before the storm"?. I havn't put it on writing yet so give me ur feedback-email or babble if u want :) Love u too
Posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 9:54:01
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob/ hey NIck, posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 9:50:07
Hey Dr.Bob-if u have received my email then the thread above is another example. Thanx again.
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2005, at 10:48:55
In reply to Ending the Cycle. » gabbi, posted by Nickengland on August 9, 2005, at 8:29:03
I saw the conciliation in your post, Nick.
I'm sure we can assume that you meant deep down within yourself you know that Gabbi is a wonderful person.
Or that her surface wonderfulness is so obvious to all (as indeed it is) that you are just affirming that that surface wonderfulness is also bone deep and not a bit superficial.
Which as a long time friend of Gabbi's, I can attest that it is. I've never met anyone so able to be compassionate, certainly not myself.
We all say things that come out in a way we never intended. In fact there was another case of that, which we have luckily convinced Gabbi was not at all worth blocking herself for, since it was inadvertant and she apologized when she realized the timing made it sound differently than she had intended.
I think that ending the cycle includes accepting the possibility that well meaning people can have misunderstandings, and that they can be repaired. Not always with more words, since if you're anything like me you might find yourself getting in deeper and deeper with every word spoken. :)
Shall we call this entire last few days a series of misunderstandings that everyone regrets and move on from there?
That's not directed at you specifically, Nick. It's just a rhetorical sort of suggestion.
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