Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 5053

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Re: TOPAMAX

Posted by redscarlet on April 10, 2006, at 19:37:19

In reply to Re: TOPAMAX and Hypothermia, posted by Aleese on April 8, 2006, at 19:41:45

Clonazepam (Klonopin) is an antianxiety med.

 

Bye Bye, Topamax

Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 16:05:36

In reply to Re: TOPAMAX, posted by redscarlet on April 10, 2006, at 19:37:19

Well, I started Topamax on February 7th and looks as though I will be quitting cold-turkey tomorrow (April 13th) at 250mg. Not much to be done about it. Absolutely loved the med. Although no med is perfect, it seemed to keep my moods fairly stable and even (WooHoo!!!) began dropping the weight from basically the first day. I'm pretty serious about that! It impacted my appetite from the very beginning. In fact, I can now wear MOST of my old pants again....probably could still lose 2-3 pounds more, but we're talking about a 50+ pound weight gain from the dreaded Remeron. All the side effects I had from Topamax occurred only in the beginning, and they really were more of a nusance than anything else. And then they went away. Tingling feet and hands, COLD body, can't think of anything else so it musn't have been too big a deal.

WELL....it appears that our lovely Canadian drug plan is refusing to accept this "exception status" med for me. So instead of paying $5 for a 3-month supply, we'd be looking more at $450 for 3 months. Can't do. Down to 2 pills. I don't understand why they agreed to Neurontin, but not to this med. So time to go loopy again.

AND....if I can't have the Topamax, I'm cold-turkeying off the Remeron as well. Remeron is covered at $5.00, BUT......I can't stop eating on it. And I'm prone to diabetes because of the monster babies I spawned! Lol! And Remeron is the only antidepressant that I can tolerate. SSRI's send me non-stop to the bathroom....for WEEKS! It just never stops. Welbutrin causes panic attacks and high heart rate. Effexor could make me walk right out in front of a car because I'm so DUH. Paxil makes me psychotic. And all the rest just kill my body.

I've had seizures before, but years ago. When I used to drink. I haven't had alcohol for four years now, and I have absolutely no interest in it.

Remeron made my head quiet. Especially at night. It would talk and talk and talk. Of course it was me because....well, who else is in there BUT me, right?? Lol. But me would be talking to me talking to me talking to me. It would get so noisy. I take Seroquel to help me sleep, and it doesn't even stop the noisy head. But the Remeron does.

But if I can't have the Topamax, I can't risk the Remeron. I'm going to be bouncing like crazy. Oh my gosh. And there are NO samples of Topamax. Ha ha ha. I'm going to be so sick. And the worst of the matter is: my 14-year old daughter is visiting for Easter from the 13th to the 17th. And I have to act NORMAL. I'm probably going to use up a whole month's worth of Klonopin in one day! *smirk*

This is going to be hard, guys. Why can't they just approve the Topamax? I'm on the smallest cocktail I've been on yet, and I still have battles that I go through, but.....I SURVIVE the battles. The cocktail works. Dang it.

Anyways, now I'll only be on:

Inderal LA (physical panic)
Clonazepam (psychological panic)
Seroquel (sleep...would rather something better, but don't know what)

Good luck on the Topamax!! I think it's a GREAT drug if it's targeting the correct problem.

Be well.

Sandy

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax SandyWeb

Posted by Storm Rider on April 12, 2006, at 17:51:00

In reply to Bye Bye, Topamax, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 16:05:36

> Well, I started Topamax on February 7th and looks as though I will be quitting cold-turkey tomorrow (April 13th) at 250mg. Not much to be done about it. Absolutely loved the med. Although no med is perfect, it seemed to keep my moods fairly stable and even (WooHoo!!!) began dropping the weight from basically the first day. I'm pretty serious about that! It impacted my appetite from the very beginning. In fact, I can now wear MOST of my old pants again....probably could still lose 2-3 pounds more, but we're talking about a 50+ pound weight gain from the dreaded Remeron. All the side effects I had from Topamax occurred only in the beginning, and they really were more of a nusance than anything else. And then they went away. Tingling feet and hands, COLD body, can't think of anything else so it musn't have been too big a deal.
>
> WELL....it appears that our lovely Canadian drug plan is refusing to accept this "exception status" med for me. So instead of paying $5 for a 3-month supply, we'd be looking more at $450 for 3 months. Can't do. Down to 2 pills. I don't understand why they agreed to Neurontin, but not to this med. So time to go loopy again.
>
> AND....if I can't have the Topamax, I'm cold-turkeying off the Remeron as well. Remeron is covered at $5.00, BUT......I can't stop eating on it. And I'm prone to diabetes because of the monster babies I spawned! Lol! And Remeron is the only antidepressant that I can tolerate. SSRI's send me non-stop to the bathroom....for WEEKS! It just never stops. Welbutrin causes panic attacks and high heart rate. Effexor could make me walk right out in front of a car because I'm so DUH. Paxil makes me psychotic. And all the rest just kill my body.
>
> I've had seizures before, but years ago. When I used to drink. I haven't had alcohol for four years now, and I have absolutely no interest in it.
>
> Remeron made my head quiet. Especially at night. It would talk and talk and talk. Of course it was me because....well, who else is in there BUT me, right?? Lol. But me would be talking to me talking to me talking to me. It would get so noisy. I take Seroquel to help me sleep, and it doesn't even stop the noisy head. But the Remeron does.
>
> But if I can't have the Topamax, I can't risk the Remeron. I'm going to be bouncing like crazy. Oh my gosh. And there are NO samples of Topamax. Ha ha ha. I'm going to be so sick. And the worst of the matter is: my 14-year old daughter is visiting for Easter from the 13th to the 17th. And I have to act NORMAL. I'm probably going to use up a whole month's worth of Klonopin in one day! *smirk*
>
> This is going to be hard, guys. Why can't they just approve the Topamax? I'm on the smallest cocktail I've been on yet, and I still have battles that I go through, but.....I SURVIVE the battles. The cocktail works. Dang it.
>
> Anyways, now I'll only be on:
>
> Inderal LA (physical panic)
> Clonazepam (psychological panic)
> Seroquel (sleep...would rather something better, but don't know what)
>
> Good luck on the Topamax!! I think it's a GREAT drug if it's targeting the correct problem.
>
> Be well.
>
> Sandy
>


If the med was prescribed by your doctor why is the insurance company describing it as an 'exception status'.?
I live in Canada too. The provincial medical programme doesn't pay for our medications, but we have a private one, through the company, that does...
it covers prescriptions, semi-private and private coverage when in hospital, home nursing, physio, and so on...
and there has never been a question about prescriptions..
if one is on a provincial coverage plan...
for instance home nursing covered under OHIP for any length of time then certain medications are considered as exceptions and the doctor has to fill out a special form...
perhaps that is an option????
I would look into having your doctor fill out the form and send it to your insurer...

kat

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax

Posted by challenged on April 12, 2006, at 19:06:33

In reply to Bye Bye, Topamax, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 16:05:36

> Well, I started Topamax on February 7th and looks as though I will be quitting cold-turkey tomorrow (April 13th) at 250mg. Not much to be done about it. Absolutely loved the med. Although no med is perfect, it seemed to keep my moods fairly stable and even (WooHoo!!!) began dropping the weight from basically the first day. I'm pretty serious about that! It impacted my appetite from the very beginning. In fact, I can now wear MOST of my old pants again....probably could still lose 2-3 pounds more, but we're talking about a 50+ pound weight gain from the dreaded Remeron. All the side effects I had from Topamax occurred only in the beginning, and they really were more of a nusance than anything else. And then they went away. Tingling feet and hands, COLD body, can't think of anything else so it musn't have been too big a deal.
>
> WELL....it appears that our lovely Canadian drug plan is refusing to accept this "exception status" med for me. So instead of paying $5 for a 3-month supply, we'd be looking more at $450 for 3 months. Can't do. Down to 2 pills. I don't understand why they agreed to Neurontin, but not to this med. So time to go loopy again.
>
> AND....if I can't have the Topamax, I'm cold-turkeying off the Remeron as well. Remeron is covered at $5.00, BUT......I can't stop eating on it. And I'm prone to diabetes because of the monster babies I spawned! Lol! And Remeron is the only antidepressant that I can tolerate. SSRI's send me non-stop to the bathroom....for WEEKS! It just never stops. Welbutrin causes panic attacks and high heart rate. Effexor could make me walk right out in front of a car because I'm so DUH. Paxil makes me psychotic. And all the rest just kill my body.
>
> I've had seizures before, but years ago. When I used to drink. I haven't had alcohol for four years now, and I have absolutely no interest in it.
>
> Remeron made my head quiet. Especially at night. It would talk and talk and talk. Of course it was me because....well, who else is in there BUT me, right?? Lol. But me would be talking to me talking to me talking to me. It would get so noisy. I take Seroquel to help me sleep, and it doesn't even stop the noisy head. But the Remeron does.
>
> But if I can't have the Topamax, I can't risk the Remeron. I'm going to be bouncing like crazy. Oh my gosh. And there are NO samples of Topamax. Ha ha ha. I'm going to be so sick. And the worst of the matter is: my 14-year old daughter is visiting for Easter from the 13th to the 17th. And I have to act NORMAL. I'm probably going to use up a whole month's worth of Klonopin in one day! *smirk*
>
> This is going to be hard, guys. Why can't they just approve the Topamax? I'm on the smallest cocktail I've been on yet, and I still have battles that I go through, but.....I SURVIVE the battles. The cocktail works. Dang it.
>
> Anyways, now I'll only be on:
>
> Inderal LA (physical panic)
> Clonazepam (psychological panic)
> Seroquel (sleep...would rather something better, but don't know what)
>
> Good luck on the Topamax!! I think it's a GREAT drug if it's targeting the correct problem.
>
> Be well.
>
> Sandy
>


Sandy,

Although I don't live in canada I sympathize with you and know how hard this is for you. I was loopy for the last month for the same reason and just went and picked up my pills for one month that cost me 250 dollars and have been asleep for the past three days getting back on them at 200 mil daily..... I went off cold turkey also.

I am waiting on medical myself for qualification..sheeeeeeesh......take care of yourself!!!I feel your pain......Nettie

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax

Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 19:46:05

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax SandyWeb, posted by Storm Rider on April 12, 2006, at 17:51:00

Hi Kat,

"Exception status" are meds listed in each provincial formulary that are not covered by the province's prescription plan IF they are being requested for off-label use.

My doc first tried to just exchange the Neurontin (exception status that WAS approved for me for social anxiety) with the Topamax, as it has been researched positively in this area. Well, no go.

Then he tried a different tactic. The Remeron caused excessive weight gain (and the only antidepressant that I've been able to tolerate), but I'm prone to diabetes because of having gestational diabetes not ONCE but TWICE...with both my kiddos. There was a very real health risk at continuing to gain the weight, PLUS the Remeron disconnected the suicidal thought from suicidal action. He also mentioned I was a rapid cycler, meaning bipolar. Believe me, I know about the bouncing around and both the Neurontin and the Topamax have kept me fairly stable in that regard. And did I mention spending thousands and thousands of dollars on my credit cards when I had to move last year??? Thousands and thousands!!! LITERALLY!!!! But when I came "down" from that, I embarrassingly returned thousands and thousands of dollars worth of goodies. THAT'S humiliation.

So he's trying. But he's not in charge of PharmaCare. And guess what? I'm just another Welfare case. Why would they want to spend countless dollars on a person who can't even hardly leave her own home without a safe person with her? So what if she goes loopy? Only her two cats will take notice, and more money for the the tax-payers.

I know...feel sorry for Sandra-night. I don't have a lot of options. And I don't have a lot of gumption to stand up for myself and try to make my voice heard. Because, truly, I'm just a drain on the medical system. Maybe they didn't realize when they approved the Neurontin that I didn't have a job. Heck if I know.

At least they allow me to have 3-month supply of anti-anxiety meds for $5. Maybe they feel it will just keep me quiet. But I *WANT* the old Sandra back. And even with the doctor's help, PharmaCare's not willing to go the extra mile for me, it seems.

Oh well, such is life. Maybe one day soon Topamax will no longer be classified as an "exception status". Seroquel was taken off that status a number of months ago simply because doctors were prescribing it so much. I use it as a sleep aide.....never would have passed the off-label criteria a year ago. So there's always hope.

Take care.

Sandy

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax challenged

Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 20:04:12

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax, posted by challenged on April 12, 2006, at 19:06:33

Nettie,

I know everyone is different, but what was your cold-turkey loopiness like? And I hate that I have to stop Remeron at the same time.....or I'll start eating up a storm again.

How did you feel? What did you do to get through it? Any suggestions SINCERELY appreciated! I can't believe my 14-year old daughter is coming to stay with me for the next 5 days. Will she be able to tell??? Do I just chug-a-lug Klonopin all day? What do I do??

I'm so glad you're back on your pills. When they work, we really do know, don't we?

Hugs,

Sandy

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax SandyWeb

Posted by Storm Rider on April 12, 2006, at 20:23:23

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 19:46:05

> Hi Kat,
>
> "Exception status" are meds listed in each provincial formulary that are not covered by the province's prescription plan IF they are being requested for off-label use.
>
> My doc first tried to just exchange the Neurontin (exception status that WAS approved for me for social anxiety) with the Topamax, as it has been researched positively in this area. Well, no go.
>
> Then he tried a different tactic. The Remeron caused excessive weight gain (and the only antidepressant that I've been able to tolerate), but I'm prone to diabetes because of having gestational diabetes not ONCE but TWICE...with both my kiddos. There was a very real health risk at continuing to gain the weight, PLUS the Remeron disconnected the suicidal thought from suicidal action. He also mentioned I was a rapid cycler, meaning bipolar. Believe me, I know about the bouncing around and both the Neurontin and the Topamax have kept me fairly stable in that regard. And did I mention spending thousands and thousands of dollars on my credit cards when I had to move last year??? Thousands and thousands!!! LITERALLY!!!! But when I came "down" from that, I embarrassingly returned thousands and thousands of dollars worth of goodies. THAT'S humiliation.
>
> So he's trying. But he's not in charge of PharmaCare. And guess what? I'm just another Welfare case. Why would they want to spend countless dollars on a person who can't even hardly leave her own home without a safe person with her? So what if she goes loopy? Only her two cats will take notice, and more money for the the tax-payers.
>
> I know...feel sorry for Sandra-night. I don't have a lot of options. And I don't have a lot of gumption to stand up for myself and try to make my voice heard. Because, truly, I'm just a drain on the medical system. Maybe they didn't realize when they approved the Neurontin that I didn't have a job. Heck if I know.
>
> At least they allow me to have 3-month supply of anti-anxiety meds for $5. Maybe they feel it will just keep me quiet. But I *WANT* the old Sandra back. And even with the doctor's help, PharmaCare's not willing to go the extra mile for me, it seems.
>
> Oh well, such is life. Maybe one day soon Topamax will no longer be classified as an "exception status". Seroquel was taken off that status a number of months ago simply because doctors were prescribing it so much. I use it as a sleep aide.....never would have passed the off-label criteria a year ago. So there's always hope.
>
> Take care.
>
> Sandy


Sandy, whatever else you do, stay on this message board...
I am trying to find out what the paper was that my doctor had to sign when he renewed my prescription for Losec (the laryngologist prescribed it for my vocal cords... and I do not understand his reasoning but anyway...)
it is apparently on some list that requires this document, probably the exception status you mentioned...
every so often I will have a cut or a puncture wound develop infection that leads to treatment at the ER, that leads to IV antibiotics and that leads to home nursing to change the antibiotics (they put me on a pump) and change the dressings and so on; on that system, OHIP takes over the cost of all my meds...
strikes me as stupid because my insurance plan pays for them, and I still have to pay the premiums which is 250 or so a month wasted...
but anyway, this form went into the pharmacy to be on file in case this happens and the province gets antsy about the losec...
if your doctor says you need the med, they should not have the power to question the need...
that is really not acceptable...
who are they to decide what is medically appropriate for you??

in the mean time, we are still here and still concerned...
we don't go away...
and you don't either
kat

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax

Posted by challenged on April 12, 2006, at 21:41:39

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax challenged, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 20:04:12

> Nettie,
>
> I know everyone is different, but what was your cold-turkey loopiness like? And I hate that I have to stop Remeron at the same time.....or I'll start eating up a storm again.
>
> How did you feel? What did you do to get through it? Any suggestions SINCERELY appreciated! I can't believe my 14-year old daughter is coming to stay with me for the next 5 days. Will she be able to tell??? Do I just chug-a-lug Klonopin all day? What do I do??
>
> I'm so glad you're back on your pills. When they work, we really do know, don't we?
>
> Hugs,
>
> Sandy

Oh Sandy,
Yes it is good to be back on the pills but I am unemployed and on disability due to my illness and know how it feels to have no money and I just put out a chunk of change having no insurance myself. I am really tired right now starting back on them all at once but when I had to stop cold turkey........
OMG
It was not good......Alot of really bad thoughts...deep dark ones......bad dreams.... I stayed away from people and tried not to answer the phone......up one minute and down the next.....my brain was pouridge...i stopped driving...found myself going through red lights like they wern't even there.......couldn't sleep sometimes and when I did it was interrupted every two hours......cried a lot and just made no sense found that my repressed thoughts were all back in play even my cats noticed it .....I could tell by their behaviour towards me...sounds wierd but they are what live with me now since my son is all grown up and in college so I am pretty much alone....I worry about you Sandy and do stay with us here as Kat sugests... I have relyed so much on you all here so very much myself......Take care of yourself......I care!..... and know what you are going through...... hugs back.......Nettie

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax

Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 22:46:47

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax, posted by challenged on April 12, 2006, at 21:41:39

Kat and Nettie,

No need to worry,

I just survived a battle a couple weeks ago that should have been the end of me.....and it was the HARDEST thing to live through.....BUT I MADE IT....and I'm still here. You know how too many bad things happen too close together and you just can't deal anymore. Well, I did. I really don't know how.....BUT I DID.

So I'm here. This isn't a battle this time. This is just going to be the flu. I know there's an end in sight to it. The meds will run their course, I'll be freaking because I'm out of anti-anxiety meds, BUT I'm just going to sleep my way through it. I already fought my battle a couple of weeks ago......I'm not doing that again. I'll stay in my jamies for 2 weeks if need be. I'll soak in the tub. I'll let my daughter think she has the laziest mum on the planet. If my mind is going to be musch, I might as well sleep through as much of it as I can. Hey, I'm just a welfare-mummy. Got nothing to do anyways.

But I think the Remeron is going to be TOUGH! I'll drop from 45 to 15 tomorrow night, and if I feel the slightest twinge of those dang overwhelming hunger pangs, it's cold-turkey for that as well, just like that. Might as well two at once, huh? Hopefully my daughter will just think I have the flu. Then she goes back to her gandparents on the 17th, and once again, it's just the cats and myself since my 17-year old son moved out last month to live with his girlfriend. I was stuck in the dang apartment from March 20th to April 4th because I didn't have any Klonopin and no safe person (my son) to get outside with. Glad I had food in the cupboards. Stupid brain! Just, let's get this thing started....and then I can feel relatively normal again!

And don't worry......no roller coaster ride. I'm not taking anyone for a ride this time. So don't anybody get all panicky. It's not 2 years ago. I'm not suicidal. I just thought the paperwork would be processed by now. Instead, I owe my sister a chunk of money for the prescriptions she paid for me....thinking she would be reimbursed.

Good night.

Sandy

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax SandyWeb

Posted by Storm Rider on April 13, 2006, at 8:31:16

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 22:46:47

> Kat and Nettie,
>
> No need to worry,
>
> I just survived a battle a couple weeks ago that should have been the end of me.....and it was the HARDEST thing to live through.....BUT I MADE IT....and I'm still here. You know how too many bad things happen too close together and you just can't deal anymore. Well, I did. I really don't know how.....BUT I DID.
>
> So I'm here. This isn't a battle this time. This is just going to be the flu. I know there's an end in sight to it. The meds will run their course, I'll be freaking because I'm out of anti-anxiety meds, BUT I'm just going to sleep my way through it. I already fought my battle a couple of weeks ago......I'm not doing that again. I'll stay in my jamies for 2 weeks if need be. I'll soak in the tub. I'll let my daughter think she has the laziest mum on the planet. If my mind is going to be musch, I might as well sleep through as much of it as I can. Hey, I'm just a welfare-mummy. Got nothing to do anyways.
>
> But I think the Remeron is going to be TOUGH! I'll drop from 45 to 15 tomorrow night, and if I feel the slightest twinge of those dang overwhelming hunger pangs, it's cold-turkey for that as well, just like that. Might as well two at once, huh? Hopefully my daughter will just think I have the flu. Then she goes back to her gandparents on the 17th, and once again, it's just the cats and myself since my 17-year old son moved out last month to live with his girlfriend. I was stuck in the dang apartment from March 20th to April 4th because I didn't have any Klonopin and no safe person (my son) to get outside with. Glad I had food in the cupboards. Stupid brain! Just, let's get this thing started....and then I can feel relatively normal again!
>
> And don't worry......no roller coaster ride. I'm not taking anyone for a ride this time. So don't anybody get all panicky. It's not 2 years ago. I'm not suicidal. I just thought the paperwork would be processed by now. Instead, I owe my sister a chunk of money for the prescriptions she paid for me....thinking she would be reimbursed.
>
> Good night.
>
> Sandy
>

and Sandy stay with us on this message board or whaever it is called...
we care and we will try to help...
if caring and talking and reaching out is much help...
it is all we can offer...
meanwhile I am trying to find answers for you
kat

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax SandyWeb

Posted by SLS on April 13, 2006, at 8:45:14

In reply to Bye Bye, Topamax, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 16:05:36

Were you taking clonazepam at the time you tried Wellbutrin?


- Scott

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax Storm Rider

Posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2006, at 11:49:18

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax SandyWeb, posted by Storm Rider on April 13, 2006, at 8:31:16

Thanks Kat,

Took my last 100mg pill this morning.

I'm not sure what help you will be able to locate because the only reason I'm on the PharmaCare prescription program (which is usually just reserved for our elderly population) is because it is also used by Family Services (AKA: Welfare). When the Neurontin was approved, and the pharmacist saw this in his little magic box when I went to pay for the prescription, he was quite surprised to see that not only was it approved for the off-label use of social anxiety (maybe somebody goofed-up) BUT it also was approved for long-term use....meaning I didn't have to keep re-applying for approval. But after 3 years or so, it pooped out. And, in all honesty, it was rather mild...especially in regards to Topamax.

Also, will only take 15mg of Remeron tonight (instead of my usual 45mg) because I CAN NOT have the weight come back on once the Topamax helped me to get me back down to a reasonable weight. Not quite sure how I'll do without an antidepressant, but I guess time will tell. Hey, maybe I'm all cured except for this dang anxiety and insomnia. Argh! Who knows, right? Maybe my brain chemistry has shifted around enough that I really don't need all those meds anymore.....just something to keep me calm (albiet at rather a high dose.....then again, most ALL my meds were in the eye-popping high dose ranges....even over-the counter. My daughter's that way too, but my son only needs, for example, half an ibuprofen, and he's fine!). And, of course, I need to sleep!!!! Either by pills or a hammer to the head! Lol.

But seriously, once I get over the wonders of withdrawal, I may find that my chemistry has changed enough that I'm only dealing with anxiety and insomnia now. WooHoo. Who would think a person would say "WooHoo!" to anxiety and insomnia?? Lol. Just get me the right dosage so that I don't run out (cause that sends me spiralling down the suicidal tunnel....I CAN NOT RUN OUT!), and maybe I can start take a walk around the block and then maybe take a walk to the local store and then maybe a walk to church (eeks!!!! social interaction!!!), and then maybe I can get a VERY part-time volunteer position with minimal client contact, and then maybe more hours with more contact, and then maybe.....a part-time job...and who knows. But baby steps. And the first step is: Wait for this dang withdrawal to start, see how horrible the anxiety is going to be, beg on my bloody knees if my doc won't give me more Klonopin, AND MAKE IT THROUGH IT....because I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH IT. It's all just a matter of time. I just hope it doesn't come down to a matter of my actually having a NEED for these meds or I'm going to go through the withdrawals and come out the other end loopy. But I can't forsee the future. Today is Thursday. My blood levels are still normal...until tonight when I drastically reduce the Remeron and altogether stop the Topamax. Then we'll listen to my story tomorrow. Lol!

Something happened on this board with me some time ago that scared a lot of people. Let me just say that I promised, once that whole "adventure" was over, that I would NEVER take anyone along on something like that again. And I make that promise again. Because no matter how caring and how concerned and how hard other people are trying to help......it doesn't go anywhere because the one with the problem is not thinking normally as in "click, click, click".....but "click, click, clunk". And there is NOTHING anyone can say or do to help that person. All they do is prolong the inevitable, and everybody gets hurt in the end. SO....that being said.....and myself being in sound mind and body at the moment.....I do promise that there will not be a repeat on this board. I do not believe in taking people down that path, even if these people willingly WANT to travel the path with you. It's not right, it's not fair. And I won't let it happen.

I mean, I don't know what to expect here. I'm going to be cold-turkeying off TWO meds....and I'm clueless as to what to expect from my mind and body. I may find that I have a great deal of strength that was hidden behind the meds. Who knew?? I may develop a great deal of strength because it means living with fewer and fewer meds!!!! YES!!!!!!! That can only be good!!!!!!

I'm optimistic. I'm not stupid enough to think I'm just going to breeze through this, but I do think this is something I can do. And I'll stay in touch. And if I disappear for a few days, maybe it's just because I'm physically ill. I'll be back. Thanks for wanting to stick by me.

And the adventure is about to begin........

Hugs,

Sandy

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax (Wellbutrin) SLS

Posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2006, at 12:16:49

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax SandyWeb, posted by SLS on April 13, 2006, at 8:45:14

Wellbutrin is the devil's spawn! LOL! Just kidding.

No, I tried it two (or maybe it was three) different times.

Never had an anti-anxiety with it, but don't want to touch that stuff AGAIN.

First time, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. All I did was vacuum and clean the kitchen floor. Then I had to sit down for 45 minutes, trying to catch my breath (for 45 minutes, mind you!!) with my heart rate going crazy. Later got a drive from my sister to the doctor, and even after sitting quietly in the waiting room for 20 minutes or so, HR was still OVER 110. So she freaked and threw the Ativan at me. I mean, I really thought I was going to code on my livingroom couch. Never felt anything like that before!

Stupid me, tried it again many months later from my leftovers. Did NOTHING physical. The anxiety just kept getting worse and worse and worse, but I kept at it....knowing it was probably start-up anxiety and digging my fingernails into my thighs. Plus, I was getting very irritable. Well, I'm not an irritable gal. I just don't get upset with people very often. What's the point? But after a week of increasing anxiety, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I thought I was going to jump out of my skin. I was scared to even walk past my front door.

And the third time....which happened each time....was that my eyes couldn't focus when I tried to read. I LOVE to read. Some people watch tv. Some people watch movies. Some people build models. Some people play video games. I read fictions (murder and meyham, I call them. Lol. Mystery). It diverts myself from my own thoughts and helps me to relax. But my eyes wouldn't focus. And during this time, too, I was still in University. I had to purchase one of those drugstore reading glasses just so I could write an exam because I couldn't accommodate my eyes to the written word. And I just HAD to quit for that reason. I didn't want to do any permanent damage. I even experiemented. Stopped the pills for a couple days. Hey, I could read again. Back on the pills. What the heck are all those letters??? I just couldn't do that to myself. My sight is too important.

So, for a number of reasons, Wellbutrin simply is NOT the drug for me. And when you can hardly catch your breath for 45 minutes (after doing minimal housework) and your heart is pounding out of your chest and you're scared to even move your finger in case that's enough to cause enough effort to crash you.....and when you finally are pretty calm so you can get to the doctor (I have NO idea what my numbers were and I don't WANT to know)and you scare your doctor.....big-eyed scared.....and she said that I wasn't even close to the therapeutic level yet. It was the first day on it!!!!!

And it was the DUMB gene that made me try it two more times. DUH. But with NO physical activity. What, did I expect my place would magically vacuum itself if I stayed on Wellbutrin.

Oh, and I never got that energy boost that so many people talk about. Nada. Just almost a coronary arrest. Does that count? Lol.

Drugs are fun! Lol.

Hugs,

Sandy

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax (Wellbutrin)

Posted by challenged on April 13, 2006, at 13:14:10

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax (Wellbutrin) SLS, posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2006, at 12:16:49

> Wellbutrin is the devil's spawn! LOL! Just kidding.
>
> No, I tried it two (or maybe it was three) different times.
>
> Never had an anti-anxiety with it, but don't want to touch that stuff AGAIN.
>
> First time, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. All I did was vacuum and clean the kitchen floor. Then I had to sit down for 45 minutes, trying to catch my breath (for 45 minutes, mind you!!) with my heart rate going crazy. Later got a drive from my sister to the doctor, and even after sitting quietly in the waiting room for 20 minutes or so, HR was still OVER 110. So she freaked and threw the Ativan at me. I mean, I really thought I was going to code on my livingroom couch. Never felt anything like that before!
>
> Stupid me, tried it again many months later from my leftovers. Did NOTHING physical. The anxiety just kept getting worse and worse and worse, but I kept at it....knowing it was probably start-up anxiety and digging my fingernails into my thighs. Plus, I was getting very irritable. Well, I'm not an irritable gal. I just don't get upset with people very often. What's the point? But after a week of increasing anxiety, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I thought I was going to jump out of my skin. I was scared to even walk past my front door.
>
> And the third time....which happened each time....was that my eyes couldn't focus when I tried to read. I LOVE to read. Some people watch tv. Some people watch movies. Some people build models. Some people play video games. I read fictions (murder and meyham, I call them. Lol. Mystery). It diverts myself from my own thoughts and helps me to relax. But my eyes wouldn't focus. And during this time, too, I was still in University. I had to purchase one of those drugstore reading glasses just so I could write an exam because I couldn't accommodate my eyes to the written word. And I just HAD to quit for that reason. I didn't want to do any permanent damage. I even experiemented. Stopped the pills for a couple days. Hey, I could read again. Back on the pills. What the heck are all those letters??? I just couldn't do that to myself. My sight is too important.
>
> So, for a number of reasons, Wellbutrin simply is NOT the drug for me. And when you can hardly catch your breath for 45 minutes (after doing minimal housework) and your heart is pounding out of your chest and you're scared to even move your finger in case that's enough to cause enough effort to crash you.....and when you finally are pretty calm so you can get to the doctor (I have NO idea what my numbers were and I don't WANT to know)and you scare your doctor.....big-eyed scared.....and she said that I wasn't even close to the therapeutic level yet. It was the first day on it!!!!!
>
> And it was the DUMB gene that made me try it two more times. DUH. But with NO physical activity. What, did I expect my place would magically vacuum itself if I stayed on Wellbutrin.
>
> Oh, and I never got that energy boost that so many people talk about. Nada. Just almost a coronary arrest. Does that count? Lol.
>
> Drugs are fun! Lol.
>
> Hugs,
>
> Sandy
>

Sandy,Scott, Kat, and anyone else with information:

I just recently stopped using wellbutrin XL 300 mill daily myself, I couldn't sleep and was afraid of weight gain as well as diabetes which is prevelent in my family history as well...... Of course as some of you know that have been reading along this board, I now am back on my topamax after being off for a month cold turkey and going back on my 200 mil daily and am very tired as a result. Does anyone want to offer any information on how they feel about the two meds interacting together however realizing that for each person they may be different but knowing at the same time a standard may exist? !!!

Thank you for any information. All will be greatly appreciated!!!.......Nettie

Take Care Sandy

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax Storm Rider

Posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2006, at 14:29:20

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax SandyWeb, posted by Storm Rider on April 13, 2006, at 8:31:16

Kat,

Just an update,

I phoned PharmaCare myself this afternoon. Refused again. Whatever paperwork had been sent to doc the second time had been turned down....again. So that's that.

My doctor had actually given me a prescription for another month's worth, but what's the point? I wouldn't be BORROWING the funds from my sister for the meds, I'd be TAKING the money from her....because PharmaCare has refused me twice now. And I'm not about to do that to her. I thought I would have one lump sum cheque to give her, like I did with the Neurontin when it was finally approved, but now...what? I pay her $5 a month until I'm too old to know how to count?? I feel bad for her. She didn't have that money to throw away.

If I had any backbone, I'd ask my doc what the heck he's been writing in his reports to PharmaCare? Doesn't rish of diabetes qualify? I don't know. Thought it did. Maybe I actually have to have it. Yeah, well...there's a plan. *sigh*

Okay, so that part of my life is over. Done. Finito. Onward and upward. And I'm not even going to take the measly little 15mg of Remeron tonight. All I need is to awaken that Remeron HUNGER in my brain, and I'm a goner!! While I have this little window, I'm staying away from it, come what may.

Too bad it worked out this way. Doesn't seem to make much sense, but hey....we're mental patients. DUH is our middle name. *smirk*

Sorry. Just disappointed.

Take care. Leaving in an hour to pick up about 3 dozen boxes because we're moving at the end of June. Might as well give myself something to concentrate on rather than all this. And I don't mind packing. Find it rather therapeutic.

Hugs,

Sandy

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax (Wellbutrin) SandyWeb

Posted by SLS on April 13, 2006, at 14:52:53

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax (Wellbutrin) SLS, posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2006, at 12:16:49

> Wellbutrin is the devil's spawn! LOL! Just kidding.
>
> No, I tried it two (or maybe it was three) different times.
>
> Never had an anti-anxiety with it, but don't want to touch that stuff AGAIN.


Oh, well. I thought it was worth a shot.


- Scott

 

Re:IMPORTANT SandyWeb

Posted by Maxime on April 13, 2006, at 19:49:04

In reply to Bye Bye, Topamax, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2006, at 16:05:36

Hi there. I don't know which Province you live in, but I am in Quebec. I know about the exemption problem. You should have your doctor try again and list every possible mood stabiliser (even if you haven't tried them) and say that Topomax is the ONLY thing that has worked. I know it's wrong to lie, but if this med is helping you well....

Maxime


> Well, I started Topamax on February 7th and looks as though I will be quitting cold-turkey tomorrow (April 13th) at 250mg. Not much to be done about it. Absolutely loved the med. Although no med is perfect, it seemed to keep my moods fairly stable and even (WooHoo!!!) began dropping the weight from basically the first day. I'm pretty serious about that! It impacted my appetite from the very beginning. In fact, I can now wear MOST of my old pants again....probably could still lose 2-3 pounds more, but we're talking about a 50+ pound weight gain from the dreaded Remeron. All the side effects I had from Topamax occurred only in the beginning, and they really were more of a nusance than anything else. And then they went away. Tingling feet and hands, COLD body, can't think of anything else so it musn't have been too big a deal.
>
> WELL....it appears that our lovely Canadian drug plan is refusing to accept this "exception status" med for me. So instead of paying $5 for a 3-month supply, we'd be looking more at $450 for 3 months. Can't do. Down to 2 pills. I don't understand why they agreed to Neurontin, but not to this med. So time to go loopy again.
>
> AND....if I can't have the Topamax, I'm cold-turkeying off the Remeron as well. Remeron is covered at $5.00, BUT......I can't stop eating on it. And I'm prone to diabetes because of the monster babies I spawned! Lol! And Remeron is the only antidepressant that I can tolerate. SSRI's send me non-stop to the bathroom....for WEEKS! It just never stops. Welbutrin causes panic attacks and high heart rate. Effexor could make me walk right out in front of a car because I'm so DUH. Paxil makes me psychotic. And all the rest just kill my body.
>
> I've had seizures before, but years ago. When I used to drink. I haven't had alcohol for four years now, and I have absolutely no interest in it.
>
> Remeron made my head quiet. Especially at night. It would talk and talk and talk. Of course it was me because....well, who else is in there BUT me, right?? Lol. But me would be talking to me talking to me talking to me. It would get so noisy. I take Seroquel to help me sleep, and it doesn't even stop the noisy head. But the Remeron does.
>
> But if I can't have the Topamax, I can't risk the Remeron. I'm going to be bouncing like crazy. Oh my gosh. And there are NO samples of Topamax. Ha ha ha. I'm going to be so sick. And the worst of the matter is: my 14-year old daughter is visiting for Easter from the 13th to the 17th. And I have to act NORMAL. I'm probably going to use up a whole month's worth of Klonopin in one day! *smirk*
>
> This is going to be hard, guys. Why can't they just approve the Topamax? I'm on the smallest cocktail I've been on yet, and I still have battles that I go through, but.....I SURVIVE the battles. The cocktail works. Dang it.
>
> Anyways, now I'll only be on:
>
> Inderal LA (physical panic)
> Clonazepam (psychological panic)
> Seroquel (sleep...would rather something better, but don't know what)
>
> Good luck on the Topamax!! I think it's a GREAT drug if it's targeting the correct problem.
>
> Be well.
>
> Sandy
>

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax SandyWeb

Posted by Storm Rider on April 13, 2006, at 20:16:05

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax Storm Rider, posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2006, at 14:29:20

Sandy, you must be disappointed...
and frustrated beyond belief...
still there has to be a way around this..
I am looking...
no guarantees I know but this is what I do --
I was born to tilt at windmills and I have a fair success rate... my lance is dented and the tip a little rusty and Old Rosinante longs for a quiet stable, but we have our successes to keep us going :)
So I shall see what I can find out...
as I say no guarantees but it is worth a try..
meanwhile, stay with the list... you are one of us and we need your input
kat
>
> Take care. Leaving in an hour to pick up about 3 dozen boxes because we're moving at the end of June. Might as well give myself something to concentrate on rather than all this. And I don't mind packing. Find it rather therapeutic.
>
> Hugs,
>
> Sandy
>

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax (Wellbutrin)

Posted by Aleese on April 13, 2006, at 20:18:53

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax (Wellbutrin), posted by challenged on April 13, 2006, at 13:14:10

> > Wellbutrin is the devil's spawn! LOL! Just kidding.
> >
> > No, I tried it two (or maybe it was three) different times.
> >
> > Never had an anti-anxiety with it, but don't want to touch that stuff AGAIN.
> >
> > First time, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. All I did was vacuum and clean the kitchen floor. Then I had to sit down for 45 minutes, trying to catch my breath (for 45 minutes, mind you!!) with my heart rate going crazy. Later got a drive from my sister to the doctor, and even after sitting quietly in the waiting room for 20 minutes or so, HR was still OVER 110. So she freaked and threw the Ativan at me. I mean, I really thought I was going to code on my livingroom couch. Never felt anything like that before!
> >
> > Stupid me, tried it again many months later from my leftovers. Did NOTHING physical. The anxiety just kept getting worse and worse and worse, but I kept at it....knowing it was probably start-up anxiety and digging my fingernails into my thighs. Plus, I was getting very irritable. Well, I'm not an irritable gal. I just don't get upset with people very often. What's the point? But after a week of increasing anxiety, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I thought I was going to jump out of my skin. I was scared to even walk past my front door.
> >
> > And the third time....which happened each time....was that my eyes couldn't focus when I tried to read. I LOVE to read. Some people watch tv. Some people watch movies. Some people build models. Some people play video games. I read fictions (murder and meyham, I call them. Lol. Mystery). It diverts myself from my own thoughts and helps me to relax. But my eyes wouldn't focus. And during this time, too, I was still in University. I had to purchase one of those drugstore reading glasses just so I could write an exam because I couldn't accommodate my eyes to the written word. And I just HAD to quit for that reason. I didn't want to do any permanent damage. I even experiemented. Stopped the pills for a couple days. Hey, I could read again. Back on the pills. What the heck are all those letters??? I just couldn't do that to myself. My sight is too important.
> >
> > So, for a number of reasons, Wellbutrin simply is NOT the drug for me. And when you can hardly catch your breath for 45 minutes (after doing minimal housework) and your heart is pounding out of your chest and you're scared to even move your finger in case that's enough to cause enough effort to crash you.....and when you finally are pretty calm so you can get to the doctor (I have NO idea what my numbers were and I don't WANT to know)and you scare your doctor.....big-eyed scared.....and she said that I wasn't even close to the therapeutic level yet. It was the first day on it!!!!!
> >
> > And it was the DUMB gene that made me try it two more times. DUH. But with NO physical activity. What, did I expect my place would magically vacuum itself if I stayed on Wellbutrin.
> >
> > Oh, and I never got that energy boost that so many people talk about. Nada. Just almost a coronary arrest. Does that count? Lol.
> >
> > Drugs are fun! Lol.
> >
> > Hugs,
> >
> > Sandy
> >
>
> Sandy,Scott, Kat, and anyone else with information:
>
> I just recently stopped using wellbutrin XL 300 mill daily myself, I couldn't sleep and was afraid of weight gain as well as diabetes which is prevelent in my family history as well...... Of course as some of you know that have been reading along this board, I now am back on my topamax after being off for a month cold turkey and going back on my 200 mil daily and am very tired as a result. Does anyone want to offer any information on how they feel about the two meds interacting together however realizing that for each person they may be different but knowing at the same time a standard may exist? !!!
>
> Thank you for any information. All will be greatly appreciated!!!.......Nettie
>
> Take Care Sandy
>

I hink Welbutrin did the same to my Aunt!!

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax

Posted by challenged on April 14, 2006, at 1:44:39

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax SandyWeb, posted by Storm Rider on April 13, 2006, at 20:16:05

> Sandy, you must be disappointed...
> and frustrated beyond belief...
> still there has to be a way around this..
> I am looking...
> no guarantees I know but this is what I do --
> I was born to tilt at windmills and I have a fair success rate... my lance is dented and the tip a little rusty and Old Rosinante longs for a quiet stable, but we have our successes to keep us going :)
> So I shall see what I can find out...
> as I say no guarantees but it is worth a try..
> meanwhile, stay with the list... you are one of us and we need your input
> kat
> >
> > Take care. Leaving in an hour to pick up about 3 dozen boxes because we're moving at the end of June. Might as well give myself something to concentrate on rather than all this. And I don't mind packing. Find it rather therapeutic.
> >
> > Hugs,
> >
> > Sandy
> >
> Kat, you are laurelses, a trooper, and I myself thank you for myself and for Sandy for all the help you provide for your unselfish, tiredless, efforts you provide us all here on this board. You are a wonderful person....Nettie
>

 

Re:IMPORTANT Maxime

Posted by SandyWeb on April 14, 2006, at 11:17:37

In reply to Re:IMPORTANT SandyWeb, posted by Maxime on April 13, 2006, at 19:49:04

Hi Maxime,

I know you meant well by your message, and I *really* appreciate that you even took the time to communicate your idea to us.

But even if it were just ME writing out the Exemption Status form, and just the doctor signing on the dotted line, I wouldn't feel right about listing all sorts of meds that I haven't even tried that.....you never know....somewhere down the line, I may try and find to be my miracle med, right?

I truly am not getting down on your case. I'm touched that you were thinking of ways to try and help me with this miserable situation. But not only can't *I* lie about meds that I haven't tried, but I wouldn't even think of asking my doctor to lie for me as well. We're supposed to be working as a team, and not a team like Bonnie and Clyde! Lol.

I've actually come to accept that the Topamax is gone. I had it long enough to get me down to a proper weight for my height (and maybe that was all that G*d's intention was), and since I'm also staying away from the Remeron....well, even though I'm middle-aged (good golly, when did THAT happen?!?)...I'm hoping I can learn some new ways of eating and exercising.

Inderal LA: weight neutral?? Hopefully.

Seroquel: I know it cause weight gain, BUT I'm only taking 100mg at night for insomnia (can't imagine that would cause the munchies)

Clonazepam: I don't know. Weight neutral??? PLEASE!!

Thanks so much for your concern. It's rather uplifting to know that others are reading this thread and thinking through scenerios as to how to help poor pitiful Sandy. LOL! But I *will* be fine. Each day behind me is another day towards completing the withdrawal process.

Take care, Maxime!

Sandy

 

Re:IMPORTANT SandyWeb

Posted by Maxime on April 14, 2006, at 13:08:18

In reply to Re:IMPORTANT Maxime, posted by SandyWeb on April 14, 2006, at 11:17:37

I understand.

And you aren't pitiful! You are struggling and fighting. There is nothing pitiful about that!

I know lying is wrong, but sometimes the system leaves us so desperate and with no other choice.
I don't think I would do it unless it was a med that was making a world of difference.

Klonopin is weight neutral. They have weight gain as a side effect but I don't know anyone who has gained on it (including myself).

Good luck! And remember, you are strong. :-)

Hugs, Maxime


> Hi Maxime,
>
> I know you meant well by your message, and I *really* appreciate that you even took the time to communicate your idea to us.
>
> But even if it were just ME writing out the Exemption Status form, and just the doctor signing on the dotted line, I wouldn't feel right about listing all sorts of meds that I haven't even tried that.....you never know....somewhere down the line, I may try and find to be my miracle med, right?
>
> I truly am not getting down on your case. I'm touched that you were thinking of ways to try and help me with this miserable situation. But not only can't *I* lie about meds that I haven't tried, but I wouldn't even think of asking my doctor to lie for me as well. We're supposed to be working as a team, and not a team like Bonnie and Clyde! Lol.
>
> I've actually come to accept that the Topamax is gone. I had it long enough to get me down to a proper weight for my height (and maybe that was all that G*d's intention was), and since I'm also staying away from the Remeron....well, even though I'm middle-aged (good golly, when did THAT happen?!?)...I'm hoping I can learn some new ways of eating and exercising.
>
> Inderal LA: weight neutral?? Hopefully.
>
> Seroquel: I know it cause weight gain, BUT I'm only taking 100mg at night for insomnia (can't imagine that would cause the munchies)
>
> Clonazepam: I don't know. Weight neutral??? PLEASE!!
>
> Thanks so much for your concern. It's rather uplifting to know that others are reading this thread and thinking through scenerios as to how to help poor pitiful Sandy. LOL! But I *will* be fine. Each day behind me is another day towards completing the withdrawal process.
>
> Take care, Maxime!
>
> Sandy

 

Re:IMPORTANT Maxime

Posted by storm rider on April 14, 2006, at 13:33:26

In reply to Re:IMPORTANT SandyWeb, posted by Maxime on April 14, 2006, at 13:08:18

Sandy, delete the word pitiful from your vocab...
lol
as we all are, you are struggling to make your world and life style better for you...

insomnia, now there is something I know all too well from a very personal experience...
part of me is afraid to sleep because of the risk of seizure...the old 'it won't get me this time' thing...
the other part of me doesn't know how to stop thinking and let the brain use the off switch to allow sleep...
as a result sleep is definitely a rare commodity in this person's lifestyle...
Immovane, I forget the generic term, is not weight related and does let one reach that sleep phase...
I now have to take two at night (10 mg each) to sleep as I have been on it for several years and have adjusted to the lower dose; tried something else but it was the same as drinking a glass of water, and addictive to boot...
one of the meds I had stopped taking cold turkey three years ago and now I forget its name...
suddenly realised that I had this stuff before and didn't want it again and wasn't sleeping anyway..
let's just go back to immovane and the increased dosage...
my doctor, the one who moved, had said I could increase to three a night if necessary -- it was the new one who suggested a change to the tranquilizer and that I do not want in a million years...
immovane works is pharmacy plan friendly and does not add pounds... at this point I would be happy if it did actually...
sigh
kat

 

Re: Bye Bye, Topamax

Posted by SandyWeb on April 14, 2006, at 14:29:49

In reply to Re: Bye Bye, Topamax, posted by challenged on April 14, 2006, at 1:44:39

Kat,

Ummm, do you ever sleep? Lol. If you're not researching, then you're typing to us, and if not typing to us, then preparing for your show. You're going to burn out, lady. Do what all the kitty kats are doing these days. SLEEP. *smile*

Please don't think that you need to take this on as a project. Everything will be fine. I have a feeling you're a perfectionist. Don't worry about it. Now...if my bank account suddenly dropped to zero.....okay, then I'd be yelling to high Heaven for ANYONE and EVERYONE to help me. Lol.

But I lived without medications until March 25th, 2003. I still keep all my University agendas. Crazy, huh? Just looking through it now, how the HECK was I doing all those assignments and term papers and clinicals and FINALS just as I was beginning to take Zoloft (my very first foray into the exciting world of psychopharmacology)??? And I had to stop that med because it made me feel like I was outside my body. And all this while making A's and B's!!!!! I'd be lucky to even know where to locate an A or a B in the alphabet now! LOL.

Anyways, way off track. I just meant to say that you don't need to spend so much time on trying to figure out this riddle. Humans run PharmaCare. And sometimes just the right person (or the wrong person) making a decision impacts on the outcome of a patient's chances of receiving an exception status med. I'm aware of that. I've accepted that. I don't fight anymore. It doesn't take a whole heck of a lot of stress anymore in my life to crash my coping systems, and so I know when to back down. And who knows? Maybe my brain chemistry has changed enough that I really don't need such hard core meds anymore. Just keep me supplied with the Klonopin (bad things happen when I run out!!!! You don't want to know. But I know this, and so this is something that I *would* fight for). I also know that I need the Inderal LA or I'm going to have one panic attack after another when I feel my heart beating in my head, fingers, stomach, back....all those lovely places....so again, I'd fight for that med.

I think I'm rambling. Am I? Not too sure anymore. Seems like an awfully long sentence!! LOL!

I'll stop it here.

Sandy

 

Re:IMPORTANT Maxime

Posted by SandyWeb on April 14, 2006, at 16:26:26

In reply to Re:IMPORTANT SandyWeb, posted by Maxime on April 14, 2006, at 13:08:18

Hi Maxime,

I was kind-of kidding when I called myself "pitiful". I just meant that the situation wasn't one that I'd happily sign up for! Lol. Such is life. And it can be as bad as we make of it, or as good as we wish to imagine it to be. And I'm choosing to see the Topamax "experiment" was a success in that I lost a lot of weight (although it would have been nice to just have had ONE MORE MONTH OF WEIGHT LOSS. As my daughter says, "Grrrr-sy"! Lol). I'm not concerned about the effects from the gestational diabetes from both my pregnancies now, although I suppose the damage could already be done. But that information is in "tomorrow", and I'm living in "today"....and so far....."today" is fine.

And don't feel bad about your suggestion to me. We all say and do things when we're trying really hard to come up with a remedy. THANK YOU for thinking of me. It feels good to know that I can come over here and have at least two wonderful women to bounce questions and irritations off of. And then when someone else pops in with a comment, it amazes me that this is really just one huge community and anybody could be listening in on us at any time. So hopefully we're helping somebody else as we stumble along this little used trail. And you know what? So far (and now I'm probably hexing myself! Lol!!!), I'm still feeling fine and haven't even had to use the Klonopin yet. Then again, I know the half life of these meds is high, so.......let's see how whacko I am this time next week!! LOL!

Be good! I hope you have a great holiday!

Sandy


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