Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 13781

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Re: Does Effexor work - ADHD poem - Good book

Posted by KaraS on July 17, 2004, at 14:49:57

In reply to Re: Does Effexor work - ADHD poem - Good book KaraS, posted by Atticus on July 17, 2004, at 8:33:11

> Hi Kara,
> Don't underestimate the value of your "two cents." :) It's the two cents of other people like you that keeps me coming back to this site. I'm actually having my first meeting with a new pdoc on Monday evening. I don't know if he'll be an improvement or not, but I'm going into this with as much optimism as possible. I actually had a wonderful pdoc when I lived in another state, but now she's 500 miles away, and finding someone with whom I feel as sympatico as I did with her has proven to be a real challenge. Wish me luck! Atticus


Atticus,

Good for you! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you! (I had a great pdoc myself when I lived 3,000 miles away so I know how you feel. The one I see occassionally now is ok but not that same level of sympatico you describe.) Please keep us posted as to how it goes.

Kara

P.S. I like the name you chose. (I read another post of yours explaining why you chose it.)

 

Re: Does Effexor work - ADHD poem - Good book

Posted by lorily on July 17, 2004, at 14:52:31

In reply to Re: Does Effexor work - ADHD poem - Good book, posted by KaraS on July 17, 2004, at 1:07:48

I MUST agree with Kara on changing docs. I had a wonderful one, we spent about an hour together (which wasn't scheduled) each time I saw her and she listened, I felt comfortable, open, et cetera. Unfortunately she had to leave the center I go to and though the doc I see now is okay, it's more of a "how do you feel............here's a refill" type of thing. When I told her I wanted to try to get off meds, she tried to subtly talk me out of it with the old "If you had high blood pressure would you want to stop your meds?" routine. I discussed my understanding that ADs be a temporary thing and that I wanted to go that route. Her reply was that some people do need to permanently be on them. It went back and forth a bit, but I had my mind made up I knew how I felt, I knew what I wanted, I know where I am in my life with recovery, I'm stabile, and there really wasn't (IN MY CASE< EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT) a good reason why I couldn't or shouldn't do as I felt was the best for me. I had done my research on the meds on the withdrawals, on the harm it could do me or a baby should I become pregnant, I have certain plans for the future where it would be best that I'm not on the meds IF I DON'T HAVE TO BE. If it doesn't work, or a depression relapse comes about, I'm perfectly willing to resume use of another drug Not effexor.
I think you shouldn't be playing a game and rehearsing what you might have to say if any case arose, just go there knowing what you feel you need. And be open to the fact that the doctor just might know better than you, but ask for an explanation that you understand and that convinces you in a way you're comfortable with. I took depakote for 2 years nto thinking I needed it, my therapist didn't think that was the right diagnosis, but because the doctor said so, they must be right. Well, I've learned they're not always right, especially when it comes to mixing around meds, it's a trial and error thing.

 

Re: Does Effexor work - ADHD poem - Good book

Posted by lorily on July 17, 2004, at 15:06:21

In reply to Re: Does Effexor work - ADHD poem - Good book lorily, posted by corafree on July 16, 2004, at 16:02:54

Oh, a post-script to my other post, this last one reminded me of this. After I had that meeting with my doc, I looked at my chart and she had written that I wanted to become pregnant and that's why I wanted off the meds!!!!!!!!!!! My actual statement at the end of the discussion was "If God puts a child into my life, I do not want to have to abort to avoid giving birth to a monster." That because of the horrible deformities that depakote can cause. And, this was after all my other statements on my research etcetera, she goes and puts that I want to become pregnant. and that was her whole summary of the session!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Re: Does Effexor work - ADHD poem - Good book lorily

Posted by corafree on July 18, 2004, at 11:22:53

In reply to Re: Does Effexor work - ADHD poem - Good book, posted by lorily on July 17, 2004, at 15:06:21

I am under an umbrella of state docs. Before disability, could afford more choices. I went to a good doc for 10 years before stopped working. Now under this umbrella the first doc I saw turned the room ice cold (you can say 'uncomfortable relationship' and move on to another), and so I went to another. He and I had a good relationship. I joked once (you know you get comfortable w/ someone and you have knowledge about diff' meds etc and will just mention something), kiddingly said, 'maybe I should go back Xanax again (I had taken myself off a high dose a year before - now down to 2mg Klonopin), or maybe Librium (prescribed in the 70s)', and I laughed. Well, this state umbrella let my doc' go a few months later. Unknowingly, I go to my appt. There sat 'Mr. God syndrome' saying, 'I'm taking you off your benzos, nothing you can say will change my mind.' This new doc had red flagged what my prior doctor had written re: Xanax and Librium. I filed a grievance about the Klonopin, and asked for a new doc; will now go to another doc under the same state umbrella. Thing is, my old doc hadn't written that I laughed, that I was joking around. He just wrote...pt asked for xanax, librium. I asked for a copy of my chart. While looking it over, my caseworker told me 'I KNOW you joke around, but someone else reading this might take it seriously; you can't joke around with these doctors, and now you know why.' He also said 'I write my notes, but sometimes when I go back to look at them, it's like they make the pt sound so much worse than he/she was.' This whole mess just happened. That is why I've shared this bit about red flags etc. Cross your fingers for a better new doc for me pls. It will be a month before I find out who they put me with now (You can't request a certain doc.). But chart prob' still there ... the chart is under the umbrella too. Of course w/ new doc I will try share that some progress notes have been taken out of context. Wish I could afford to get wet! cf

 

Re: thanks! Dr. Bob

Posted by Atticus on July 18, 2004, at 21:03:02

In reply to Re: thanks! (nm) PoohBear, posted by Dr. Bob on July 15, 2004, at 19:18:49

Dr. Bob,
Thanks for setting up this amazing site. In the week or so I've been participating in this virtual community, I've really come to value it. However, I'm having difficulty navigating my way to the other message boards here. In particular, I'd like to access Psycho-Babble Writing, Psycho-Babble Newbies, and Psycho-Social Babble, but I can't seem to figure out how. Do I need to confirm my registration for each new message board that I want to take part in? The process is probably simple, but right now trying to get from here to there has left me flummoxed. Little help? Thanks. Atticus

 

Re: navigating to the other message boards

Posted by Dr. Bob on July 19, 2004, at 1:10:18

In reply to Re: thanks! Dr. Bob, posted by Atticus on July 18, 2004, at 21:03:02

> I'm having difficulty navigating my way to the other message boards here... Do I need to confirm my registration for each new message board that I want to take part in?

Thanks for your interest. One registration fits all. On each main page that lists posts, there are areas, next to the Google areas, that have links to the other boards. Also, if you want, you can keep this small list of boards open and off to the side:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/list.html

Hope that helps,

Bob

 

Re: navigating to the other message boards Dr. Bob

Posted by Atticus on July 19, 2004, at 14:43:59

In reply to Re: navigating to the other message boards, posted by Dr. Bob on July 19, 2004, at 1:10:18

Thanks, that did the trick. I just posted my first poem on the writing board. Atticus

 

Newbie to Rx

Posted by GayleZer on July 20, 2004, at 22:33:58

In reply to Anyone had success on Effexor XR? , posted by jp on October 24, 1999, at 14:59:14

Wow....tons of info. Not sure I wanted to know all this. Sixteen year old son diagnosed with anxiety and depression due to undiagnosed ADHD. Finally stablized on Zoloft. All this lots of stress combined with Mom dieing year ago from Alzhiemers, in-laws dieing, two moves in 3 years and our house burned down in 1997. I started effexor xr this week. Not crying anymore, but sleeping constantly. Hoping that will pass soon which is ironic since I spent weeks wandering the house all night. You've given lots of insight and hope to be on the road to recovery. All this to say I'm no expert but the ADHD poem is great and boy did I ever see myself in that. Beginning to wonder if I, like my son, am ADHD. Any insight?

 

Re: Newbie to Rx GayleZer

Posted by corafree on July 21, 2004, at 2:25:04

In reply to Newbie to Rx, posted by GayleZer on July 20, 2004, at 22:33:58

Hi. Ya' know, just for a couple days now I've been thinking about my memory, how it always seems so bad (lost a job after a week and a half because they said I wasn't remembering instructions). It occurred to me that maybe it is not my memory, but 'my attention' that is bad. I've never thought about it much before, just thought was not too smart, a little slow, and maybe meds were causing my short-term memory probs'. I'm wondering the same thing you are. Effexor-XR makes me anxiously tired (does that make any sense?). Wish I could take a nap midday, but cannot sleep w/o taking something. If I do take something and get a midday nap, do well. cf

 

Re: Newbie to Rx corafree

Posted by Atticus on July 21, 2004, at 19:20:19

In reply to Re: Newbie to Rx GayleZer, posted by corafree on July 21, 2004, at 2:25:04

The term "anxiously tired" makes perfect sense to me, because I've had that reaction to other ADs, most notably the dreadful tricyclics. They made my thinking so muddled that I felt almost drunk, and I couldn't focus on completing even the simplest tasks, like reading a paragraph in a newspaper and remembering what it had said by the time I got to the next one. I'd have to go back to the beginning of the article again, but the same thing would happen; it was like running in quicksand. Yet at the same time, I felt unbearably antsy, unable to even sit still and do something as passive as watching the boob tube. I haven't had that kind of reaction on Effexor XR (150 mg./day), but my new pdoc told me Monday that both Effexor and the old tricyclics increase the level of the neurotransmitter norepinephrine in the brain. I'd known that Effexor did this, but I'd never known that about the tricyclics. So it's possible that the increase in norepinephrine levels in your brain's biochemistry caused by Effexor could be having a similar effect on you to the effect that tricyclics do on me. It's an absolutely maddening feeling to be simultaneously too sedated to do anything and too wired to even not do anything. Obviously, I'm only making a (somewhat) educated guess here based on my own experience, so take it with a grain of salt until you talk to a pdoc. But I have experienced the precise symptoms you're describing. Atticus

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by Leslie Elliott on July 22, 2004, at 2:01:58

In reply to Anyone had success on Effexor XR? , posted by jp on October 24, 1999, at 14:59:14

Was perscribed effexor xr 37.5 back in January '04 did not take it, now I'm willing to give it a try,took 1 pill yesterday, then found this website, was looking for more info, now I'm not so sure, most of the side effects seem pretty bad, and then there's withdrawal? I want to conquer my depression/general/social anxiety but don't know if I can take all of this, I'm really trying to understand and need help please. Thanks

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by Leslie Elliott on July 22, 2004, at 2:02:34

In reply to Anyone had success on Effexor XR? , posted by jp on October 24, 1999, at 14:59:14

Was perscribed effexor xr 37.5 back in January '04 did not take it, now I'm willing to give it a try,took 1 pill yesterday, then found this website, was looking for more info, now I'm not so sure, most of the side effects seem pretty bad, and then there's withdrawal? I want to conquer my depression/general/social anxiety but don't know if I can take all of this, I'm really trying to understand and need help please. Thanks

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by lorily on July 22, 2004, at 8:50:06

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by Leslie Elliott on July 22, 2004, at 2:02:34

Leslie,
If I had known of the side effects of Effexor, I would never have taken it. I must say that I am grateful I didn't know because Effexor enabled me to get my life together. Dealing with depression and being an active alcoholic is a Hell I hope to never return to. Only after taking Effexor, getting my depression under was the only way I could deal with my recovery. They went hand-in-hand for me. I refused ADs for a couple years, then finally agreed to take them (Effexor because I'd heard tremendous results from people I knew who took it) I never realized how depressed I was until I wasn't anymore!!!!!!!!!!! What freedom I have! I was able to handle everything else in my life. That began Feb 2003. Today, I am off effexor 8 days. I read all the horror stories and experienced some of the side effects myself. They are no picnic, but in my experience and based on my researching, the withdrawals can be managed or eliminated. 37.5 is a very low dose, Thats where I started, six months later I went up to 75. June 1 I went back to 37.5 and 5 weeks later began tapering the daily dose GRADUALLY. Took vitamins, took antihistamines, even tried dramamine. During the last week, I've had a cold which could be masking some symptoms, but all-in-all I'm doing well.
I understand there's a new medication, Cymbalta I believe that does the same thing without the side effects. I don't know where it's available, but talk to your doctor. I personally would rather try that than return to effexor if the need arose. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by Sinnielou on July 22, 2004, at 9:07:06

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by lorily on July 22, 2004, at 8:50:06

Leslie,
Like starting any medications you put yourself at risk to suffer from side effects. Myself I have been on effexor for almost a year and I suffered dizzyness, lack of motivation etc etc. The higher dosage I went on the easier it got, now I'm better than I ever was. Effexor has taken me out of my deepest darkest depression,and it has helped with my anxiety. I myself don't plan to come of Effexor anytime soon, hopefully it will be with me for a very long time. It has truley worked for me. Do all the research you can before you continue with the med so you won't be surprised or scared of any of the side effects. Remember whatever medication you choose there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.
Good luck to you!!!!
Shannon

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR? Sinnielou

Posted by corafree on July 22, 2004, at 10:50:39

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by Sinnielou on July 22, 2004, at 9:07:06

I've posted here the way I take Effexor, which is 75mg am and then 5-6 hrs later take 37.5mg. Before I did this, I was actually feeling withdrawal symptoms (anxiety) every late afternoon to eve. Doing well with this 'bad metabolizer' regimen. My family (4 sisters and a brother, and my mother) have dis'd me, after my best friend/mentor, my father, died this past Feb. W/o Effexor-XR, I prob' would be gone by my own hands. I have some posts under suicide. I still mourn my father, but mourning those that are here, but not, is like 'teasing' and very hard to deal with. I have let it obsess me. My daughter and counselor keep telling me to let them go, accept that they don't care. But I am alone here and have never felt so lonely. Effexor-XR must be a good anti-depressant (tricyclics, and the SSRIs did nothing in the long run), because I haven't hurt myself ... instead am taking care of myself. The only side effect is the need for a nap, at least lie down and try to 'find your safe place', a few times throughout the day. Have tried to cut down coffee and soda, and get some fruit into my diet daily. I try to schedule one (maybe two if close) errand a day. May I ask you all pls say a prayer that something good will come my way and override this obsession with my fam' of origin. tks all cf

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by dusty534 on July 22, 2004, at 11:11:31

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR? Sinnielou, posted by corafree on July 22, 2004, at 10:50:39

Corafree, I'll be praying for you. It must be really hard missing your Dad...and being dissed by your family. Being depressed is hard enough for me w/o losing someone I love recently or being shunned by my family. My life's problems have all built up to the problems I have now.
I WAS on Effexor. I couldn't move...it had such a horrible effect on me. I got off of it slowly...and still had problems. But now I'm trying to deal with things. I really need to get back on something...but am scared to try something else because the next med might be just as bad for me as Effexor.
Keep going to your counselor...I hope that they are a Christian. Their help is what you need now. Keep writing, too. Get your feelings out...even tho you think that no one is listening. There are others who are where you are now...and we care!!!
Dusty

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR? dusty534

Posted by corafree on July 22, 2004, at 11:44:28

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by dusty534 on July 22, 2004, at 11:11:31

I feel like this site has led me to true friends, understanding I have an illness; not saying how can we help you when you don't help yourself, as my family of origin has said, since Dad passed away. Maybe he guided me to meet you here. You have helped to fill my 'empty heart' ... pretty mushy, but really true. Thanks ... wish you were here Dusty. Corafree

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR? corafree

Posted by PoohBear on July 22, 2004, at 13:01:54

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR? dusty534, posted by corafree on July 22, 2004, at 11:44:28

> I feel like this site has led me to true friends, understanding I have an illness; not saying how can we help you when you don't help yourself, as my family of origin has said, since Dad passed away. Maybe he guided me to meet you here. You have helped to fill my 'empty heart' ... pretty mushy, but really true. Thanks ... wish you were here Dusty. Corafree

Cora:

We're all here for you and I personally will pray that you get some emotional support sent your way.

It's very hard for family to "understand", given the prejudices that society at large has against mental illness. It really is a spooky subject full of millenia of taboos that cannot be easily washed away in a generation or two. It's like looking at people that slip away into Altzhiemer's: Were are they? Are they still "in there" somewhere? The questions involved deal with the very bedrock of who we really "are", ie, more than just flesh and blood.

Here's a link to another good book that may help answer some of the questions you're facing:

"The Purpose-Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?"

I myself have never attempted suicide, though I ideated about it constantly (before Effexor), which was scary enough. My sister-inlaw on the other hand, hung herself 5 1/2 years ago (her fourth attempt...) and we (her extended family) are still paying the price as we adopted her two teens and have had to raise them to adulthood, a process frought with pain of adjustment to a new life in a new culture for the kids and our family growing instantly from 3 to 5 for us...

Dealing with my own depression has given me sooooooo much empathy for those who are depressed and understanding for those who would contemplate ending their own lives. I can understand the kind of depression that leads to a hopeless tunnel vision where the goal of ending the immediate pain filters out any other consideration (like what happens to the survivors). I guess in a way that's ultimately the reason why I've never been able to conceive actually going through with suicide, because to me, deep down inside, it's the ultimate selfish act. That's just my opinion, I'm not dissing anyone else...

Ending one's life is just like a car wreck: one dies while everyone else in the car (the rest of the family) survives. And just like in a car accident, they survive, but only with scars and lots of questions, some more so than others, depending on their internal constitution.

Your family can't support you now; perhaps they will be able to in the future. You'll have to make your own life and reconnect with others who can support you, much like a plant that is transported from a nursery to someone's yard. The surroundings are different, but with enough sun, water and nutrients you'll put down roots and thrive. Right now you're root-bound, stifled by the tight "pot" you find yourself in. But even a root-bound plant can do well. It has to be unpotted and the roots scored with a knife before it's planted so that the roots will grow out, not in. You need to grow out.

I hope this all makes sense and is encouraging, as it's meant to be.

You are much loved, God bless...

Tony

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by starlight on July 22, 2004, at 13:12:21

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by lorily on July 22, 2004, at 8:50:06

I love effexor so far. It's helped my anxiety so much! I've been hypervigilant my entire life and finally feel like I can relax more. I know that people gripe about the withdrawl, but I experienced similar symptoms from withdrawing from Wellbutrin, so I'm not worried about it. Plus I like the fact that I've lost weight on it as well.
Good luck,
starlight

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by dusty534 on July 22, 2004, at 16:35:24

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR? dusty534, posted by corafree on July 22, 2004, at 11:44:28

> I feel like this site has led me to true friends, understanding I have an illness; not saying how can we help you when you don't help yourself, as my family of origin has said, since Dad passed away. Maybe he guided me to meet you here. You have helped to fill my 'empty heart' ... pretty mushy, but really true. Thanks ... wish you were here Dusty. Corafree

I'm glad that I was able to help some Corafree. I think that Tony really had a lot of info about feelings. I hope that the folks here can give you even more help...and support.
Dusty

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by Leslie Elliott on July 23, 2004, at 5:53:59

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by lorily on July 22, 2004, at 8:50:06

> Leslie,
> If I had known of the side effects of Effexor, I would never have taken it. I must say that I am grateful I didn't know because Effexor enabled me to get my life together. Dealing with depression and being an active alcoholic is a Hell I hope to never return to. Only after taking Effexor, getting my depression under was the only way I could deal with my recovery. They went hand-in-hand for me. I refused ADs for a couple years, then finally agreed to take them (Effexor because I'd heard tremendous results from people I knew who took it) I never realized how depressed I was until I wasn't anymore!!!!!!!!!!! What freedom I have! I was able to handle everything else in my life. That began Feb 2003. Today, I am off effexor 8 days. I read all the horror stories and experienced some of the side effects myself. They are no picnic, but in my experience and based on my researching, the withdrawals can be managed or eliminated. 37.5 is a very low dose, Thats where I started, six months later I went up to 75. June 1 I went back to 37.5 and 5 weeks later began tapering the daily dose GRADUALLY. Took vitamins, took antihistamines, even tried dramamine. During the last week, I've had a cold which could be masking some symptoms, but all-in-all I'm doing well.
> I understand there's a new medication, Cymbalta I believe that does the same thing without the side effects. I don't know where it's available, but talk to your doctor. I personally would rather try that than return to effexor if the need arose. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you so much for responding, I've been so unsure about what to do, I will talk to my Doctor. I don't know why I'm so scared to take medication, but I'm almost 40 and have been going through this (depression/anxiety) for about the past 10 years, I almost turned to alcohol, but could not function literally, then everything turned inward and I thought I was dying, hypochondriac, I'm so glad I found this web site

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by Leslie Elliott on July 23, 2004, at 6:06:44

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by Leslie Elliott on July 23, 2004, at 5:53:59

Please, I am open for more advice. Thank you lorily for responding. If anyone would like to you can email me at LESLIESTOUT@hotmail.com
Still haven't decided what medication to take, what are AD's?

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by lorily on July 23, 2004, at 8:18:02

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by starlight on July 22, 2004, at 13:12:21

Do you think you lost weight because of the effexor or was it from not "eating to feel better"?

Either way, good for you! I'm just curious. I also began to lose some weight when I first took it, but I also had discontinued Depoprovera shots (the birth control one), got my thyroid leveled out, and felt good, was more active et cetera.
Now for the past almost 2 mos I stopped depakote (which does make you gain weight only because you're hungry all the time if you take the ER, half the time on reg dose and everything tastes so good) I'm totally off effexor 9 days now, been eating chocolate like crazy and have not gained an ounce!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?

Posted by lorily on July 23, 2004, at 8:48:08

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR? corafree, posted by PoohBear on July 22, 2004, at 13:01:54

I can relate to the "what about my survivors?" facet of contemplating suicide. That, and being afraid that I would just suffer more and not succeed stopped me. Once I actually got in the tub with a box-cutter type razor, but when I opened it , it was the serated edge type and I couldn't cu tmyself. My cat was up at the side of the tub and I looked at him and what I was doing and called 911.

When I was suicidal about 2 years ago I was trying to figure out how to get it done quick. My thoughts did not seem irrational at all but it always lead to how it would effect someone else. Of course my mom and immediate family were in there, but I somehow thought they'd understand or something. If I took a bottle of pills, what would it do to my landlords when they found me? I pictured the look on the driver's face of the truck I considered jumping in front of. Then, I thought of an acquaintance who had shown me her gun (which I wouldn't even touch at that time) and wondered how could I get her to do that again and somehow leave me in the room alone with it?

I'd snap to it, sort of and just put it off for another time when I had a better plan, then proceed to drink a pint or two of whiskey. Here I wanted to do it quickly, but was torturing myself poisoning myself and killing myself slowly with alcohol.

And still I did not think I should HAVE to take medication, except the trazadone to help with the insomnia.
Finally, one drunken night in a moment of clarity I called someone to come get me into a hospital or come over because I was afraid I was going to die of alcohol poisoning or go into a seizure. After she called back saying she'd be there in 10 mins, I passed out, woke up 12 hours later in the ER, alcohol poisoning I was at 500 level.
That was when I changed my life agreeing to Effexor. That was 1-1/2 years ago. Today I am free. I'm off meds totally just over a week and keeping a close eye on myself :)
Wow, I really have come a long way!!!!!!

 

Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR? lorily

Posted by Atticus on July 23, 2004, at 9:21:55

In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by lorily on July 23, 2004, at 8:48:08

lorily,
It's interesting you should mention box-cutters. Unfortunately, the blade of mine wasn't serated, and it cut all too well. I just posted a poem on the Psycho-Babble Writing page called "Spots" that I hope anyone considering suicide will give a once-over before going any further and stepping over the line that I did. It's not only about my actual suicide attempt, but also the ways it has left me changed, for better and for worse, despite the fact I survived. The enormity of the action, seen with eyes that have been at least partially cleared by meds and therapy, leaves me shaky and astonished when I think about it. Sorry I don't know how the link thing works on this site yet, or I'd have put one to the poem in this message. Atticus


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