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Dear Susan,

Posted by Toph on December 29, 2009, at 12:46:43

I miss you.
The year is almost over. Good riddance because it sucked. The economy cost my daughter her job, she and 9 other competent young teachers in the school district were let go. She's substituting now, but she should have her own room dammit. Then my mother who we had been pulling our hair out to seek medical treatment got hospitalized last spring. She cooperated with all the futile attempts to improve her condition until they perferated her bowel. My sister and I kept vigil until she took her last breath the next day. I made it through the funeral but for some reason my meds failed me and I went into a full blown manic episode. After a couple weeks in the hospital I got physically sick weaning off of the Seroquel, and it took me months to return to work. My shrink was both afraid and fascinated by my illness but it was my wife, not he, who really brought me back. I know I am fortunate to have someone like her who loves me in spite of my fractured mind. So toss this year onto the heap and set it aflame. I'm left wondering something that is common among manics, why do we work so hard to give up the confidence and bliss of our delusions only to settle into a treated life of misery and self-contempt?
Hurry back.




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