Posted by susan47 on January 30, 2008, at 20:39:12
In reply to So Innocent, posted by susan47 on January 30, 2008, at 13:33:36
You have no idea how the sound of your voice affects me.
how it hits me in all the sweet spots.
you have no idea of the power in your voice, do you?
I would hate to think you would withhold something as precious as the sound of water on stone, the sparkle of the brilliance of the sun hitting that sweet spot in your eye, the one that sets off heavens of lustre in the deepest part of your heart. I wouldn't want to wonder what the world would be like again, if that were withheld. The worst thing is to deny comfort to someone who needs it like they need to breathe. I'm so ashamed of that part of myself that I keep trying to kill it, to squelch the anger of my denied sexual self, and why do i feel so f*ck*ng Freudian about everything these days, what the archetypal hell am I living in? I mean, my whole sense of language feels distorted, there is no construct within which I can place my sense of self, the whole world is changing every night with every dream that places me closer to my dream-self. And I feel psychotic in a strange, unknown sense of the word, and I feel unwell, and unwelcome in any world except that of my mind's making.
I am beginning to feel Undone.
I remember his face.
I remember his eyes.
I never want to forget.
I am afraid to let go, I am afraid to forget.
I am losing my self.