Posted by SAW on August 31, 2004, at 7:58:09
In reply to Re: Another broken promise » SAW, posted by partlycloudy on August 31, 2004, at 7:08:31
I cannot really do AA or anything like that. I've admitted to myself that I have a problem, but my family, including my husband don't suspect anything. I am also just not into the whole group therapy thing. If fact the very idea makes me want to vomit.
I am so frustrated because there weren't even any triggers or anything last night. It was a night like any other and simply a question of go home and drink mineral water. But of course, this isn't my routine now is it! So I had my usual glass of wine while cooking dinner and I knew, knew, knew that I would never stop after 1 glass. I also cannot sip like I used to. If I did, I wouldn't get so blind drunk. I take huge gulps, I guess the quicker to feel the buzz.
I sort of remember telling my husband to go to bed that I would be there shortly. I know I wanted to have another drink! I do not remember getting into bed. The worst is pretending to remember conversations and actions. Actually that isn't so bad, the worst is pretending to remember my husband made love to me when if it weren't for my body telling me, I wouldn't even have known!!!
It's morning on your side, It's afternoon my side and a couple of hours to my home time and that welcome drink!
Thanks for your support