Posted by puravida on November 15, 2003, at 23:56:06
In reply to got drunk, period » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on November 15, 2003, at 14:31:34
I'm still glad you are here - though I must say I go through so many swings of mood - one day I am feeling badly that I drink at all, the next, as you said "I suddenly felt silly for being so down before and WHAT WAS THE FUSS ABOUT? Life is so easy with a bit of wine." I don't know either.
I have noticed that right before my period, I have a tendency to get really drunk if I drink. I am usually not noticably moody (to myself, anyhow), but drinking definatly gets to me more.
Here's a thing - I remember when I was in college, I thought - gee - I could go either way. I could wear the blue suit and be the responsible, conservative citizen, OR, I'd be just as happy rolling into my local at the same time each day or night to hold down a barstool. Sometimes I wonder if my drinking seasaw isn't just an attempt to be balanced in my life. It's so easy to get sucked in - either way. We drink because our friends do and its socially acceptable - or not (AA) - either way we are choosing other people's values over our own. And, who says having three beers over three hours is OK or not?
Katia - I'm not sure how old you are (I'm nearing 40) but I have had an issue with feeling sore and lumpy, and they say that caffiene has a big impact on tissue density. So, it could be worth a look, if you do drink caffiene, and might save you some $$ if the symptoms are caffeine related as opposed to hormone related.
Well, off to bed from me -
> (tail between the legs katia reporting...)
> It was inevitable! With my mood as of yesterday, I went to work on fire ready to fight with anyone. It was super busy and I got two tables - one French with 7 of their own wine and another one with three of their own. Each INSISTED that I try some of it. After the second (OH! I would love to, but I quit drinking), I said OK, I'll TASTE it. And those tastes that were kept given to me totalled about 2 glasses +. God. I suddenly felt silly for being so down before and WHAT WAS THE FUSS ABOUT? Life is so easy with a bit of wine. An instant medication. I was tolerable and tolerant and funny/chatty. Went out after work and had my first martini and a comso after that. oh, and a merlot.
> came home with the bartender (no sex.....thank god) and had a beer on the porch talking about the difference between intelligent people, and geniuses. Smoked a lot of cigs. Gave away a much cherished autographed book by Ken Wilber (speaking of geniuses....). And woke up this morning with my clothes still on and a waste basket near the bed (speaking of idiots....).
> I'm having trouble accessing the ole' brain.
> boy oh boy. They say in "recovery" that part of it is relaspe. Oh goodie - that gives me an excuse.
> But it is interesting monitoring this sober thing and seeing exactly WHY i drink. it's so about self-medicating for me. I don't crave it any other time - apart from eating really good food and wanting wine to complement it.
> I really hit a wall yesterday. It really felt inevitable. i'd lost all inner resources and strength.
> One quick thought - Barbara - two days ago my breasts started hurting - PMS signs. That's also the day I "lost" it and continued to lose it.
> If one gets their hormones checked, what is the best time to do it?
> AND do the levels change thru' out the month?
> If I pay all this money, I want to know once and for all.
> Do you know any of this?
> how are you doing?
> it seems you're taking a psychobabble break.