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Trying to catch up after a bad time

Posted by Racer on November 16, 2007, at 16:38:11

I've been having a very bad time of it lately, and it's left me behind in all my classes. Yesterday, my therapist and I sat down with a fairly complete list of what I have to do -- minus all the readings, which are more brutal than you can imagine -- to try to see how I can do it. In theory, if I work hard, I can do it.


I'm not managing to do anything. I'm feeling so incapable of managing anything. To make matters worse, I'm taking a Nutrition Science class which includes a Diet Project that includes a paper about my own dietary habits. I have started out with a very simplified version, just answering the questions involved, but there's a problem... The honest answers to most of the questions would involve disclosing my eating disorder. (No, I'm so fat it's not obvious, and even when I'm thin, my build hides just how thin I am. Also, for the days I chose to record my food, I ate much more than usual -- although I'm sure she thought I was lying when I turned it in, since I still didn't hit caloric goals from any of the indices we're using.) My therapist said, "Lie." I'd like to, but I don't seem to have the imagination to come up with answers to the questions that sound reasonable.

And I'm just plain depressed -- severely depressed. Classic, melancholic, worse-in-morning depression. By the later evening, when I start to feel almost human, I have no energy left.

Today is a very bad day, but if anyone has any advice, or if there's something that's worked for you to catch up after being sick, please feel free to speak up. Any and all offers gratefully accepted.





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