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Re: Taking psychology classes

Posted by Racer on September 3, 2007, at 15:40:50

In reply to Taking psychology classes, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on September 3, 2007, at 8:55:08

Yeppers -- I do. All the psych classes I've taken since going back to school have been with the same instructor. The first one included a project where we have to make up a person with a problem who's come to us for help, and what resources we've found in our area for that person. I did a project on a 40 year old woman with anorexia -- and I was one of the resources, although I didn't disclose that until later. (Multiple email addresses, so he didn't see my name.) Since then, I've been brought in as a speaker about eating disorders to psych classes, and his was one of them. I also mentioned something, when we were chatting about doctors recently, about having been on antidepressants in the 80s.

So, yes. I am pretty sure he has a pretty good idea of how I got to know about eating disorders. (Although, since I'm plump, I would bet everyone who suspects figures I'm bulimic...)

I also think certain other instructors have figured out, without specifics, that I'm -- otherly emotioned? Is there a polite form of "crazy as a psychotic bed bug?" That's probably my self-consciousness coming out, my distorted perception of how I appear to others. But I know that, for instance, in the nutrition class, I feel as though I speak too slowly, have too much trouble fitting one word after another, etc. (Just wait until we have the lecture on how deadly obesity is! "Uh, have you really read the statistics on that? Underweight is about three times as deadly as level 1 obesity, and overweight is statistically healthiest in terms of mortality at any age...")

Of course, none of this is helped by the fact that I'm twice as old as most of the other students -- and older than many of the instructors. In fact, the other day I was waiting in the hall for another class to end in the room where my class meets, and the head of another department smiled as he passed, saying, "They won't even let the instructor in?" Maybe I should just wear the orthopedic shoes, and get a walker...

It's hardest for me, though, to avoid the attention getting, "I know!" routine. You say it's not pathological to want to be liked -- but that's if it's within reason. It's hard for me not to try to gain approval by knowing EVERYTHING, doing EVERYTHING right, getting 100% on EVERYTHING. That just shrieks insecurity and inappropriateness to me. It's hard for me to catch myself in time to stop that.

Bah. I wonder why I get to that place of self-loathing...




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