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mixed feelings

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on June 12, 2007, at 8:34:06

In reply to Re: It's official! gardenergirl, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on June 12, 2007, at 8:23:16

First the good
Walking across the stage and shaking the hand of el presidente, eating dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, and everyone was behaving themselves

joy, pride

Upon deeper reflection

"damn, I've been through a lot in the last year, and this project has been part of my life for the last 2.5 years, and will continue to be part of my life until I've written up all the manuscripts I can from it"

"I'm such a f*cking fraud. They just barely let me squeeze through the cracks. my work is a piece of sh*t. they were just sick of me and let me pass"

"hey, we all wear the same thing, we all have our names printed in the program. young old fat skinny red hair or black. we are all equivalent on this day as graduates. If other people have done impressive things, maybe I have too"

"must pack must pack must clean must organize for my move pack more faster now now now ignore exhaustion keep going if you stop you'll die if you stop you'll be found keep running running"

"What the hell do I do now? I've been a student since I was 5. What do people do when they're out of school? It's the only thing I know how to do [well] besides my cooking..."

"The end of the first third of my life: the beginning of the 2nd third"

"I'm poor"

"How can other people possibly understand that I'm not jumping for joy 24/7? Will they understand, or will they just think I'm a whiner?"

"Thank goodness I can enjoy a few precious moments each day without unrelenting pressure to produce an opus. Thankfulness that the moments become slightly longer each day"





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