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Re: Partlycloudy

Posted by alexandra_k on September 29, 2018, at 0:35:51

In reply to Re: Partlycloudy, posted by alexandra_k on September 28, 2018, at 19:33:10

alex went to the gym. and she's feeling MUCH better, now.

she's writing away on it...

her supervisor is a nice person. her supervisor has been there for her emotionally when she needed someone. she just stepped in and was really great.

and her supervisor does care about her and wants her to do well. she is doing her best. as am i. as are we all.

it's a stressful time.

try not to undermine myself.


there is an element / aspect of that to me. been kicked at... sensitive... internalise things. i do have a brain that holds onto some of the things that hurt the most. and so on.

i need to get better about being more pro-active about looking into things... instead of just thinking that i can't or that that is ruled out for me.

i will look into the whole STEP thing... I won't get expectations up. i think europe would be more likely... but you gotta be in to win and other people do it, so...

and i won't be too quick to dismiss registration, either. i think that is a bit like tenure. being on payroll i mean. job security. you don't want to find yourself in a succession of temporary posts... however many years later still doing the stuff that was only supposed to be temporary...

i guess i've learned a lot in this.

and i won't tell everyone my plans for what i'm looking into. it's a shame. but, yeah. most people will exploit what they can when they can. i need to really remember. to call them on it, too. it's the little doormat test they do to see if they can treat you like crap and you will be okay with that. will you stand up for yourself? that's the way they see it.

i wonder what they think of me... of my take that their doing that means i think they fail the sociopath test.

i wonder if they ever saw it that way.




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