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Re: the world bank

Posted by alexandra_k on June 8, 2018, at 7:35:27

In reply to Re: the world bank, posted by alexandra_k on June 8, 2018, at 6:55:48

> I have found some food in the supermarket. Sometimes... I think people are listening to me...

Just little glimmers that there are actual reason-responsive people still here. Which is what happens when you spend too much time with the terrified kids trecking around in the ghetto (university).

I think it is genuinely because of this view that a lot of people need to live in awful conditions in order to sustain 'our way of life'. In some sense of 'our way of life'. And people are just really afraid 'which side' they are going to end up on.

Whether they are going to have to present as humble supplicants to beg at the door to be let in to the welfare cue... To be stuck getting food for the week from charities who get government handouts to employ people to locally govern the distribution of food. Where tinned sphagetti is what the market demands, apparently. And tomatoes.

Or whether they will have 'made it' in some sense. Where they get to have their own bucket to collect what leaks out of the govnernment redistribution system...

And there is this idea that most of the jobs are in managing the underclass. And there really is 'and there but for the grace of god (or head of the charity) go I)' about it.

But mostly just an acceptance of masses and masses and masses of beggars who don't have enough to make any kinds of choices in the market at all.

just not even a living wage for producing as much as you can of the cheapest possible rubbish that you can.

because the governmen't doens't know how to legislate. or identify and invest in anything that will sustainably grow.

i don't have to get to do orthopedics. i was saying psychiatry from the get-go but they seemed to think they didn't need that... no, we prefer to staff that with 'no speak english' labor...


i have a nice house at the moment, PC. It doesn't have character. Its a (seems to me) solid little 2 bedroom house built in the 1950's. By a previous government, actually. A state house. It's got 800+ meter section. If I were to rent to own it (which was the point of them) I could have built quite the garden or... Developed the section in a variety of ways. Put a doctors clinic out front.

It's got plesant views. Not amazing, but pleasant. Water in teh distance and pretty lights from low density housing over a couple steeply sloping rolling hills.

It snows a bit. Like, 6 days a year, or something. we had nearly a foot last week. I haven't had snow since I was in North Carolina. It was nice but I couldn't get about on the motorbike. I think the main roads would have been okay, but sticking to the tyre tracks to get there would have been a bit slippy.

It is a nice and quiet space for me to write. Thinking back... 2011 I came back to NZ. I remember I was all about 'I just need a quiet space where I can work on my thesis' and housing hasn't come through for me until now. 2018. It has come through for me... But it's f*ck*ng exhausting the battle it takes to get the most miniscule thing done through layers and layers and layers of incompetent managers who live on government handouts and bailouts and so on and so forth while (for a lot of that time) I really lived on next to nothing.

I have a bit more now. Because of 'disability'. Which I feel ambivalent about. IN a way I feel like ti is cheatin gor lying in some way because I use it differently from how I'm supposed to. But then, I don't agree with tehir priorities.

For example. If I want a television then they will help me because that is considered necessary. If I want health insurance then that is not allowed. In the public system I mostly don't have access to health care and when I do it is what the government or the district health board (or foreign interest sor business interests) decide is good for me.

So... I still struggle with the fact that I'm nearly 40...

And still haven' tquite made it to become a human being...

But I don't go see a doctor anymore. I'm done with that. I'd love to learn differently... But my experience of 'health care' in this country there is a lot of nodding and smiling and smiling and nodding and I don't trust it. And I can'at purchase it. Becaues my opinion of what is important isn't important.

Anyway... I'm writing a thesis on this for a uni. Not the one here. The one here didn't want me to do research. It is odd that a universiyt doens't want research, but there we go. I don't know what to say about that. Don't even know where to begin. I mean, they don't want me to pay fees to them for them to get a chunk of work out of me that they could then claim as their own. That's how accepted here, I am.



It's because of the whole statics thing and control of variance means I can only achieve so much in my lifetime. And if they can persuade me to get into the spirit of farming then I could contribute to the situation of donating my labour to the production of high quality prodouce that could fetch top dollar on the international markets for the good of... Um... Some manager, somewhere. WHo gets government handouts...

So, yeah. After all that. It's unskilled labour. My determinants of health have be binned thus and so.

I suspect that is it.

It is a quiet place to get this chunk of research done whcih will hopefully be enough to get me into Med back at the nasty awful city...

So I won't be driven to the doc fro things like cyst removal or antibiotics for an infection that isn't fixing itself or wahtever. at the very least. so I will have some authority (the only authority there is) over my own life.

I do want to help people...

But some people think that the only way forwards is to hire people to... Keep the prostitutes clean-ish. Keep the people who only exist so others may profit from their labour suitably drugged... I don't want to believe the world is like that...

It would be great to be able to offer a... Free clinic.

But I don't know that you could do that, here, because of the charity people making millions off of that and all the managers and so on that need money to leak out of the bucket their way...

And because of the data collectors.

I learned that 'New Zealander' gets reclassified as 'New Zealand European' and 'Non-Maaori'. They think people say 'New ZEalander' because they are trying to undermine Maaori. Apparently. They really haven't heard of working together for the good of us all. Not Maaori... THe people who are making decisions supposedly in their interests.

What a f*ck*ng sh*t show.




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