Posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2016, at 3:29:37
In reply to Re: still here, posted by alexandra_k on November 28, 2016, at 3:04:05
my mother is really a rather nasty piece of work.
the more distance between us, the better.
the less people assume i'm just like her, the better.
the less i have to worry about being just like her, the better.
i had a conversation with a work and income worker the other day...
recent thing they've started... redirecting rent payments. so, i don't pay my rent, rather they redirect my rent out of my disability so i never see it.
only it is getting close to time to me to move... so i ask them to stop the redirects...
and i get a work and income worker... just like my mother.
she starts up about how i need a letter from my landlord before they'll stop the redirects (b*llsh*t)
about how if the redirects over-pay my rent i'm liable and not them (i'm not)
and so on
eventually i give myself a short sharp punch to the side of the head.
and say (in a cool, clear voice) 'that hurt me less than listening to you talk'
and indeed it did
story of my life, really
she upped and walked away
only problem being: i need the redirects to stop
i'd rather my bank do my redirects
because when i go in to my bank to get the redirects to stop:
nobody talks to me like that
the bank doesn't hire all variety of stupid
the bank doesn't hire all variety of talking a bunch of b*llsh*t for no other reason than to upset you
the bank doesn't give me this 'i'm just like your mother' f*ck*ng b*llsh*t
which is all so very Exciting and Dramatic for people like my mother
with nothing f*ck*ng better to be doing with their lives
with nothing f*ck*ng better to be doing with their time
with nothing f*ck*ng better
who never wanted to be
who only revelled in the cheapest and nastiest sh*t
precisely because it was the cheapest and nastiest sh*t
because seeking and obtaining the cheapest and nastiest sh*t was only self promotion or advertising
for the people to come out of the woodworks...
the people only looking for people...
who they could treat the cheapest and nastiest
this is f*ck*ng b*llsh*t
i'm so f*ck*ng tired of it
so tired of it
i'm sick of here
because they never will let me escape that rubbish
people simply aren't capable of assessing anything on it's merits
and anything that used to be an indicator of that... has been totally undermined.
see, we used to be more of a meritocracy
so then those people ran the f*ck away
so now we've introduced this randomisation element...
worked really hard at promoting the stupid and nasty
worked really hard at undermining anything that isn't stupid and nasty
a bunch of people are left feeling a whole heap better.
makes me want to heave
it's not me... it really is this place