Posted by Angela2 on June 26, 2014, at 13:46:30
I have a diagnosis that doesn't make sense to me. I don't agree that that is what I have most of the time, because I feel normal. It's called schizoaffective. I dunno. I have strange thoughts when I'm stressed or out in public sometimes, like, I feel like I'm being stared at. And I want to crawl into a safe hole. Even though no one is really staring at me. I have paranoia sometimes. As a reaction to things that actually happen. And I have mood disorders. Depression, and anixety. In 2006, I did have a psychotic episode though. I was under a LOT of stress and broke down. I didn't have any coping mechanisms. Lots of paranoia, delusions, and funny behavior.
If I had to diagnose myself, I'd say I have social anxiety, anxiety, depression (at one time I had a diagnosis of major depression), possibly ADD, and delusional disorder. The weird thoughts / "delusions" (scary word alert! lol) I experience are things that in fact could happen in real life, and do sometimes.
I dunno. Maybe it is not important what I "have." Maybe it's no big deal really. I'm just thinking about it.
This all started because I was wondering if I have ADD. It's hard to get motivated. How do you know if you have it? I have never in my life been diagnosed with it. And I have seen a lot of doctors. Maybe this doesn't matter either, lol.
I have a lot of time on my hands today.
My therapist says I should not focus on my diagnosis. But on just me as a person. :)
I guess I worry about telling people too. About my diagnosis. Most people don't seem to know what schizoaffective is. And it sounds scary. So I guess I'm going out on a limb posting this. I worry I may lose credibility, that people may not trust me to do the things they'd normally trust me doing if they didn't know my "diagnosis." I worry about being treated differently.
I don't know what I'm looking for from you all in this postat first I wanted to know about ADD. Then I was wondering possibly what people thought about schizoaffective. But I don't think I want to know, lol. I thinkjust writing this has helped me process my feelings. I wasn't going to post this at first, but I think I will. Perhaps it is no big deal :)
poster:Angela2
thread:1067435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140621/msgs/1067435.html