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Re: Worth it? OCD and relationships

Posted by alexandra_k on September 12, 2013, at 4:42:32

In reply to Worth it? OCD and relationships, posted by NutsInc on September 11, 2013, at 0:25:40

Hi. I'm probably not the best person to ask for relationship advice... But it sounds like you are wanting more emotional intimacy (you keep saying you feel kinda like a blow up doll) and you are worried that he is into old patterns around wanting a sexual outlet but perhaps nothing much in the way of anything else.

I guess... One idea might be to take things slow. Physically, I mean. Say that for you it is about the emotional connection and say that feeling emotionally connected (so that you won't be left feeling like a blow up doll) takes time. I think it does for most girls.

Some guys are more into connecting with *doing* things rather than having deep and meaningful conversations about their feelings. Going for hikes or walks or whatever. Is there stuff (aside from sex) that you like to *do* together? Does it help you feel more connected to him to do stuff together that you both enjoy?

If he feels like you are pressuring him into giving more than he feels willing and / or able to then he might just kind of squirm away. I'm not particularly proud to admit that I do that with people sometimes. If I don't feel that they give me the space that I need then I back off and if they still don't give me the space that I need then I don't want to have much more to do with them. If you don't text him... Then you leave him in the position of your not having texted him. If he misses you... He can text you. If he doesn't miss you... Isn't it better to find that out earlier rather than later?

I don't know.

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:1050455
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130811/msgs/1050504.html