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Re: Is Anyone Happy?

Posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2013, at 1:33:39

In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy? » alexandra_k, posted by happyflower123 on August 16, 2013, at 1:14:54

thanks. things are okay with me, yes. ups and downs. not as intense as things used to be. i've quit smoking, which was a big deal for me. it was the last of my 'i just want to die' expressions. i don't know that i can convey the significance of giving that up...

i've had a bit of a time of finding my way since that... i've been more... irritable. coming to terms with the fact that i'm different from most people - but that i'm okay with that. it isn't that there is anything wrong with me. going around 'what is wrong with me, what is wrong with me' only attracts the wrong sort - those who are only so willing to have me take responsibility for their own shortcomings, most notably.

so i guess i'm on the path of listening to myself... the wise part of myself that tracks what is good for me much much (much) better than most anyone else.

starting to find my focus for work. having a bit of a battle to finish up grad school. went awol for a bit... on the home stretch now... it is up to me. if i put the time and effort into my writing then i will end up with a career, but i won't otherwise. i have a lot of self - stabotage going on around that.

i am trying to tell myself that the self stabotage thing can come in degrees... need to get beyond the person living in a box form of self stabotage... need to get to a place of independence.

life is a journey oh yes, indeed.

that is wonderful about your show, congratulations indeed!

 

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