Posted by Tabitha on July 25, 2009, at 11:36:39
In reply to Re: One provocative question after another » Phil, posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 1:05:53
> It's OK, I'm not upset. I don't mean to make others concerned about me. I just thought I was asking a question. Maybe I just don't understand. I don't want to harm myself. That is why I ask the question.
Hi Deneb, I've had the same reaction as Phil at times. Maybe I can help explain this a bit. I have had a hard time figuring out if it's something we could discuss without someone getting a PBC, so I haven't said anything. But, so far so good, so I'll try to add my thoughts.
I've been confused by your intent with these topics, too. Do you really not understand the risks of mixing alcohol & drugs with meds, and of using alcohol & drugs when you already tend to have suicidal impulses? It's almost difficult to believe you'd need someone to explain that to you, given the amount of time you spend on psych med support groups and the amount of reading you do. You've read the archives about the suicides here, and I think you'll notice they involved people struggling with meds & substance abuse.
So when I see you say "I think I'll take up drinking", or "I think I'll use some MJ", etc, it's hard to believe you are not aware of the reaction you'll get from folks. The reaction is naturally "Oh, no! That's so dangerous! I have to convince her not to do that!" And several people jump in with that type of reply.
Now there's nothing wrong with that, in fact that's what the board is here for. But when it's repeated over and over, it starts to feel like it's, well, a game or something? I'll answer one, then come back, all worried, to see what you've decided to do. Then you always answer with "it's ok everyone, I won't do it". A bit later, it's another variant of the same. So I feel sort of suckered by the whole thing, like I got hooked in to reacting with worry & caring for something that wasn't really real.
Now I understand from your perspective, maybe you think you're just asking an innocent question. But it doesn't feel that way from my side. And I'd think from the reactions you get, you'd start to understand that these questions are provoking a pretty strong reaction in folks, and they can be perceived as manipulations or threats.
I would guess that the underlying motivation here isn't really to scare & upset people. I assume it's just your way of getting attention. It works, and you always get quite a few replies. The problem is, over time people get burnt out on having their panic buttons pushed.