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Not such a good Memorial Day for me.

Posted by SLS on May 26, 2009, at 0:06:49

I was depressed most of the day, had no one to be with, and nothing to do. No barbecues. Just raisin bran cereal. I was surprised by how situationally depressed I got about being biologically depressed. I realized how empty my life is, and how I have very few social contacts. I am not a participant in life and do very little to keep myself connected with the outside world. For some reason, these things hit me pretty hard today. It was a bit scary, because I didn't know where this kind of thinking would lead. I decided to call my ex-girlfriend whom I see as a friend occasionally. She invited me over for some dessert and coffee. It was good that I got out of the house. I don't feel too bad right now. I hope this depression recedes, as this state feels so foreign to me. I used to feel like this all of the time. I now realize just how successful I have been to be so positive and constructive regarding my predicament in life. For the most part, I have been successful at avoiding suicidal depressions. I am usually very grateful for all of the gifts I have been given. I am usually optimistic about my future. I am usually tolerant of being alone. For some reason, these things disappeared. I know this is only temporary, but it has been very upsetting to me.

- Scott




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