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Re: I feel absolutely unvalued, disregarded, taken for » SLS

Posted by obsidian on April 23, 2009, at 22:30:36

In reply to Re: I feel absolutely unvalued, disregarded, taken for » obsidian, posted by SLS on April 22, 2009, at 17:16:01

> Hi Obsidian.
>
> See if any of my BS sounds right to you:

it's far from BS, thanks for your thoughtful reply :-)

> Sometimes it helps to stand back from a situation and ask yourself how you benefit from it. What is it that the job gives you? How does having this job enhance your life? Survival is a noble goal.

Survival has to be a noble goal right? My therapist tonight told me, after complaining about my job, that 'that's real life'...
well no kidding?...and doesn't that suck? I started working when I was like 12, but maybe that's a big part of the problem, all obligation/survival, no life enhancement.
do I need a reality check? I'm all too acquainted with it, the question is how to deal with it. Which goes to your question, 'what does this job give me?' 'how does it enhance my life?'

money to pay the bills
some freedom to work with my own ideas
the ability to work very independently (a blessing and a curse)


> Maybe it would help for you to be selfish. How can you exploit this job so that it is in your own best interests to continue with it? Is there upward mobility within the company?

no upward mobility for me...hmmm, how can I exploit this job?

some tuition reimbursement??
research possibilities??
learning and incorporating new technology into my work

> Maybe it's not in your own best interests to continue with this particular job. Again, be selfish and exploit having a paying job while you search for something better.

it's tough going right now in the job market, but I am starting to put out resumes just to connect with the world beyond this particular workplace

> In the meantime, look for humor in the workplace. Even if you don't share your humor about the company with your coworkers, you can certainly keep yourself entertained. Is there any way for you to make your job more fun? If it is your coworkers that represents the biggest problem for you, perhaps you can put into perspective what these people really mean to you. Probably nothing. Don't worry about pleasing them. Please yourself first. You are well worth the effort to make yourself the focus of your attention. In the end, it is your quality of life that matters most. Can you exploit this job to enhance your quality of life? If not, then...

I like my immediate coworkers (the ones from my dept), but we all work separately within the larger institution

> Sorry to write so much. I think this is such a critical issue for you that I thought I could help out a bit. If I didn't appreciate you, I wouldn't have bothered. You are intelligent and likable. That's why I tend to read your posts when I have enough energy to do so.

you're sweet scott, I like reading your posts too.
I like that you've been spending more time over here, I used to only see you on the meds board.

> My self-esteem comes from within. I appreciate myself. I take the time to take inventory of what virtues I have that *I* appreciate. You don't have to be perfect to have self-esteem. Much of my self-esteem comes from the understanding that as a human, I will never be perfect. I just try to use all of what little God gives me to work with in the moment. To know this helps me to appreciate my human strengths and accept my human foibles.

Maybe I'll put this above my desk.

> Do you feel somehow different from everyone else? If so, in what ways do you feel different?

yeah, I really do :-(, like there's a party going on that I'm not invited to and also like my work isn't really "necessary" or reflective of a lot of schooling

I wish I had a sense of self esteem separate from most of this. I do need to find something else, or some other aspects of work to focus on.

I saw a career counselor recently, I need to use the assessment tools I used to find something more appropriate for me.
thanks for the questions, they are helpful :-)
-sid


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poster:obsidian thread:892032
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090421/msgs/892453.html