Posted by jammerlich on July 30, 2008, at 1:52:56
In reply to Betrayal and overwhelming grief, posted by jammerlich on July 29, 2008, at 19:18:20
It's not the fact that the contact with IRL people was made that I find so terribly upsetting, even though a lot of responses seem to focus on that.
I was most upset because I was not told right away and because my ex was encouraged to participate in the deception. If you ask me, in the spirit of truthfulness, I should have gotten an email saying, "Jammer, I'm really worried about you so I'm calling your ex." Or, better yet, "Jammer, I'm worried and if I don't hear from you in X amount of time I'm going to have to call your ex." Instead, I was told 2 days later when the other party was under the influence of her sleeping medication.
We talked Monday afternoon and I let her know that this was the most upsetting part. That would have been the appropriate time for her to mention any other contact she'd tried to make, but she did not. And I find out today that she'd tried to contact at least one other person as well. It's THIS that really feels like a betrayal.
I hope maybe I'm making myself more clear this time.
poster:jammerlich
thread:842914
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080721/msgs/842999.html