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Re: Lou's request for identification-ownleighweigh

Posted by Fivefires on May 25, 2008, at 17:47:59

In reply to Lou's request for identification-ownleighweigh » Fivefires, posted by Lou Pilder on May 23, 2008, at 17:30:07

Hi Lou.

Kinda' ill here as just d.c. Nardil and still have withdrawal type feelings. Guessing I'm in a major depressive episode.

> 5f,
> You wrote,[...the only way that non-violence can win a struggle against violence is to make the violent to see the inhumanity in themselves...].>

> Could you identify the authority that you used, if any,>

I'm having trouble responding accordingly as well.

This was a statement written in the middle of my story of my life with an abusive person. Ran across it, as my PCP is tryin' to secure insurance coverage out of network and needed a lot of info.

I thought it would give him some insight as to why, when I feel the pain in my neck and head, it's like I'm feeling abuse all over again.

I don't understand what you mean when say *identify the authority* that you used, if any,?

Can you ask me this in a different manner?

>to write here that the {only way} is to make the violent see the inhumanity in themselves?>

This was written probably 5yrs ago or so.

I was talking to someone last night and said I wrote something years ago, but can't get back in that place in my mind I was in when writing it, so do not know how to interpret what I wrote.

My saying 'only way' could be in err.

I suppose violence can be treated via therapy. Maybe there is proof/studies.

Personally, the violent person in my situation had the therapist so fooled by his wit and charm she let him leave before completion of the court-ordered course.

A lot of people would not step in and tell the violent person what they were doing was wrong. Just one did.

Still the violent person continues to say it's my personality which precipitated their action.

So, I suppose believe/believed 'hearing it is wrong behavior' from another person doesn't work. Just one person, a 23-y/o, confronted him, and he's never indicated any realization of his violence to me, or, afa I know, to the children, my fam, abuser's fam; anyone!

I asked a friend of the abuser, someone the abuser respected, to intervene, but the abuser is so well-liked, gregarious; a lot like O* S.

The friend (I thought mine as well; wrong.) told me 'no he couldn't help me'. The person is the abuser's best friend! I guess the friend didn't want to endanger his friendship.(?)

So, guess I concluded, this wasn't a way for the violent to see their violence.

I mean, I asked for help from a lot of pp and if they'd thought it would make a difference, they would have done or said something, I assume.

So many said nothing, or 'won't get involved', so if didn't already say, assumed they must not have thought their intervention would help him.(?) Right now I'm wondering ...; no, I'm knowing, I think, they didn't give a da*m about me.

You think you are not intelligent when you are abused. If so many pp weren't going to help me, I thought, well majority must not think this approach rules.

Dang, that would be so much better than to think none of them cared if I lived or died.

And, ya' know, a lot of it was about helping him. But, I sensed pp just thought I was trying to get even w/ him.(?) And, I sensed pp were thinking 'she must be doing something to make him react this way'.

Did they not attempt intervention because they didn't believe it, because they feared losing a friend, because they didn't give a da*n about me, or, because they didn't believe it would change violent behavior. Or, is it I unfortunately have a lot of ignorant pp IRL.(?) The prior sentence sounds like the lost me! I don't like the word ignorant tho', so forgive, too ill get thesaurus.

Maybe, but, this is a long shot, as seems too simple, thoughts were if one becomes violent with violent; one person may die and of course will not have realized anything, and the living violent person will see it as having been a success.

Am I speaking in circles?
I'm very weary. I'm sorry.

I've been trying, re-reading, but I cannot get my mind back in the place it was when wrote this.

I titled this SOMEONE SAID because after running across this I felt compelled to 'get back to the place in my mind I was in when I wrote it', as I was stronger back then.

Maybe I've forgotten who I was.

Currently, I'm dependent (but there's no one to be dependent on here o_o), crying mostly before sleep, hopeless, needy, weak, bod' shot!

I've lost me; I know this. Was strong, assertive, independent, and kind.

Maybe shared this w/ you all so you could remind me, WHO I AM.(??)

I know; pretty backa*s-words. (Made up a bad word that seemed to fit the situation.)

>If you could then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.>
> Lou

I'd appreciate your insight and kind constructive criticism Lou. (Pillows still wet from last night!)

Will log on in an hour or so.

I'm stilllllll on dial-up.

I'm hoping for a miracle; someone will call me.

Hope U R Well There Lou,

5f

and: Do you think I've some 'victim v. martyr' thing going on here, anyone?

and:

I'd like to take a WRITING class @ univ. here. Heard a very good instructor. Does anyone have any comment to make about this? You've seen the way I write.

Do I say anything that makes a difference, because this is what I want to do, make a difference which adds weight to the side of the scale the 'GOOD' is on.

I've not run across any talents to expound upon in my life thus far.

Dr. Bob - If u read this, pls don't move to writing board. I need here for a while to uncover what my intention or understanding was in these statements. I'm getting closer w/ the help of pp here on Social. I've uncovered so much since father's passing that has been buried.


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poster:Fivefires thread:830727
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080428/msgs/831095.html