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L-I-F-E

Posted by your#1fan on March 2, 2008, at 2:17:44

You know i was watching alot of movies about how the real world is.

Part, of me wants to get out and become a part. Another part is scared, but i need to get out there and do it.

My big brother got me out of alot my isolation, i admit when i was kid. If it wasnt for him, i would really be behind. At the same time, he's got a life, career, family now. Im a decade behind. But still good childhood memories from him where the best. Now i have to realize im an adult, and have to know its just memories.

There are so many ways you can percieve reality, though many ways of confusion (which in my teenage years i went through confusion much), confusion can be caused from being kept inside alot, and not knowing how relationships work (this apply's to me mostly) how to relate to people, anger, fear, anxiety attacks in response to not knowing how to deal with reality.

I do my best to hold it "together" but really the problem im scared of life in a whole, and i hide it. There are so many mind sets that you can be in, a mood, a perception that you see. Some people want there own way of life and create cults, but if you think about it they don't see all the aspects of the rules of life. You can create your own way of living, its called imaigne.

Life........its your best friend, its worst enemy, its your existance.

When getting into the real world, i've seen people fight for there right everything. Competetive, protective, of alot of things. I've seen you have to develop some kind of ego, to deal with other big ego's. There going to be conflicts your going to have to deal with, fights, maybe psychicall, i never really percived reality through a fierce way that i have now seen it. Im behind socially, i need to catch up!

You know, the saying that all "bad" stuff ends in high school, it does not. It will last you your whole life....really. I've seen people in there 80's still judge people, if there not in the social norm. What is a social norm? acting nice.... i dont consider myself a social norm, but i act like im normal 90% of the time.

Well this is just fan's deep thoughts.

What do you think of it.

your#1fan


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