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mister bean gets a haircut

Posted by karen_kay on February 11, 2008, at 15:23:14

as you all know, mister bean is a therapist who is wildly in love with miss honey, his GORGEOUS (you can thank me in many ways miss honey) client. he lacks fashion sense. he lacks common sense. and most imp[ortantly, he lacks hair.

whiel shaving one day, though there's really no use in shaving for him. he can only grow patches of, what appear to be, dirt on his face. and they don't grow in the normal spots either. they grow on his forehead. these patches of hair grow on his nose (not to mention the patches that seep out his nose and ears. god lord man, get a nose clipper for cryingout loud!!! miss honey deserves that much at least!). and a very small patch that grows in his nether region, but that doesn't require shaving. it actually helps him to appear more 'well endowed', if you know what i mean...

what was i saying again? oh yeah,. mister bean was 'shaving' (if you call it that) and noticed that his combover from 1986 was in desperate need of a trim. he debated, whiel standign naked in front of the mirror, on whether to get a slight trim, or to get a new do altogether. as he tugged and tugged (HEY! on his hair folks, let's keep this pg13, alright?) on his longs locks of brownish, kinda grey, and certainly turd black (you know, when you take iron and it makes your turds black? yeah,t hat color... wait, i'm getting off track again), hair, he thought about his wonderful miss honey. she was going to be having a session this week and he really really REALLY needed sex (ok, maybe not sex, since mister bean is stil a virgin, but at least some mild groping). maybe a new do would get him jsut what he wanted????

mister bean dressed himself and took off in his beater car to the closest supercuts he could find. whiel on the way, he thought about his new do. 'should i try to be cool and get a mowhawk?' he thought? he then quickkly realized that he only had a small patch of hair, that was extremely long and wrapped around his head. a mowhawk simply would not be possible. 'what about the 'russel crow' hair, that was so popular 5 years ago?' again, he realized he lacked the amount of hair it would take to pull down over his enormous (and man, i mean HUGE!!!) forehead. though, that patch of wild hair (hpreviously referred to as dirt) on his forehead may well be formed into bangs....

he contemplated the different styles that he may try. he readjusted the rear view mirror, and \began playing with his hair. jsut as his hand went to his face to tug on that nasty hair, he heard tires squeeling. he turned his head around jsut in time to see a large cow in the middle of the road. hne didn't have time to apply the breaks, so instead he used his stunt driving skills to quickly do a uturn in the middle of the road. nothing was going to stop him from getting this haircut and winning the love of the glorious miss honey.

so, mister bean is now heading south, rather than north. luckily, there's a great clips on the southside of town as well (well,t hey are everywhere!). his tiny yellow car putted into the parking lot. he could see all the trendy girls with their trendy clothes, cutting hair. as he walked in, everyone turne3d their head and stared. all the girls, dressed in black, which seems to be the typical hair-cutters' uniform, pointed at him. he signed in and sat down to read a magazine. should he read about britney spears and her newest drama in us weekly? shoudl he read about human growth hormones in modern science? he debated and finally decided on a book with different hair styles in it.

as he was perusing the book, a lady in the back called out 'mister bean! i'm waiting for you!' his heart fluttered. as i said earlier, he hadn't had a cut since 1986 (is that right? i don't feel like going back and checking, but you get the idea! he's pretty much hopeless.), so his heart was racing.

'what if i look dumb?' he thought. what if she doesn't like my new look?' 'what if i'd have hit that cow on the way here?' 'what if i have a fish sandwich for dinner?' all sorts of thoughts were swimming around in his brain as he walked ot the chair and sat. the lovely young lady slid the 'bib' over him and snapped it in back. she started washing his hair, and he could smell her deodorant as she scrubbedf his scalp. it reminded him of miss honey. and baby powder. his thoughts drifted to childhood.

the kind lady asked 'so, how would you like your <snicker> hari cut today, sir?' he explained that he was trying to impress miss honey with a new look and asked for suggestions. the lady was at a loss. she said, with a very serious tone 'sir, i don't think there's much we can do to your hair to impress a lady. perhaps we can just trim it, and you can keep the style you have now?'

mister bean broke down crying. they finally settled on a trim, as well as a huge wax job for his facial hair. after he was finished, and she spun him around, he couldn't believe it!~!! he looked 5 years younger! that combover was really a good idea, but the wax was a necessity.

we left for his appointment with miss honey, later that week, and was sitting in his office, jsut waiting for her to see the NEW BEAN. she walked in, with her great *ss, and said 'did you do something different to your hair?' he simply said 'it was nothing. just a simple cut.'

all this fuss for nohting. such is the life of mister bean!

uh oh! i have company.. to be continued <insert dramatic music>


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poster:karen_kay thread:812068
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080130/msgs/812068.html