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The 'tombstone' exercise............ :-) » Deneb

Posted by Kath on December 19, 2007, at 21:10:44

In reply to Re: You're not an idiot, posted by Deneb on December 18, 2007, at 0:21:58

Deneb, I'm glad you're feeling better about this so quickly.

I think anyone who is sensitive might feel badly if the same thing happened to them.

I once read of a method to help put things in persprecive - I'll give this example that I read:

A man invited his boss & wife to dinner. The man & his wife prepared a nice dinner for the boss & wife. When the man passed the gravy to his boss, he jiggled the dish & spilled some on the boss! He felt awful - even into the next day, but then used this method to help him "chill out" about it & put it into perspective..... He wrote an epitaph for his gravestone. "Here lies Bob M, who invited his boss to dinner & spilled gravy on him!"

So in this case: "Here lies Deneb, who forgot, one day, to say Thank You to the bus driver"

I used a similar method to jar some sense into myself the other day. My son now has not only a part-time job, but a girlfriend. This is something that should make me really happy. But my anxious tendency leads me to think of ANYthing to worry about! So I was worrying about the fact that he told me she likes to drink & that they drank a whole lot of beers on the weekend. SO - in my book where I write FACTS on the left side of the page & my feelings, triggered stuff, etc on the right, I wrote the fact on the left & on the right, I wrote something like: "WHAT a situation! My 23 yr old son & his 18 year old girlfriend like to drink & party. How shocking! For heaven sake, they should know better. At that age they should be sober, responsible, staid, mature, & enjoy just sitting quietly on the weekends!"

When I read it & even when I was writing it, I was thinking "For Heaven's Sake Kath - CHILL OUT - it's not as nobody else of their age does that."

Of course I'd rather they didn't, but it is by no means the end of the world.

I'm so glad you're doing better Deneb. It's really apparent to me.

I send ya hugs, luv, Kath

 

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