Posted by TexasChic on September 26, 2007, at 19:02:41
In reply to Re: Here we go.... » TexasChic, posted by Kath on September 25, 2007, at 20:48:45
Thanks Kath! Yeah, this is the same boss. Everything goes okay until I make a mistake. Then all hell breaks loose. Apparently I'm supposed to be perfect.
Today I was a nervous wreck all day. I took three .5mg of Xanax, and I usually never take more than .25mg when I'm at work, and no more than .5mg at home! But I was bordering on a full blown anxiety attack. My chest was hurting and everything.
Part of the cause is because I've gone back on my old meds. This initial getting adjusted phase usually exasperates my anxiety. I know from past experience it will go away eventually though. Other than that, the meds have been freaking fantastic! I can't seem to stop cleaning my apartment, and if you know me at all you know that's a major change!
The other contributing factor of the anxiety attack was certain things happening at work. Things have kind of smoothed over with my Supervisor, and for a good while I had somewhat befriended RudeGirl. But Monday something happened that set her (RudeGirl) off. This is stupid but: some months ago she was supposed to put a file on the server for me, but she only put part of what I needed. I told her what happened and asked her to please put the rest of it there for me. She was all put out and insisted she had put it there. I was supposed to send this file to a coworker (which is stupid in the first place as it was her creation and she could have sent it herself, but I digress). I told her regardless of what happened, I don't have it so would she please put it on the server for me. She ended up sending it to the coworker and not me so I was like, what f*cking ever and just dropped it.
So now we come to this past Monday and the same coworker asked me for the same document again. This girl is a friend and her position is between me and my boss. She's great at her job and a good person, but not very computer savvy. So I figured she had trashed it since the last time. So I once again asked RudeGirl to put it on the server for me. Once again she insisted she had given it to me. I just told her, well so-and-so needs it. RudeGirl says she's too busy. Finally the coworked said, "Forget it you two, I'll figure it out myself" (and she did finally locate it on her computer from the last time). Throughout this all I was polite and professional, but RudeGirl hasn't spoken to me since and gives me dirty looks when she sees me.
Now, finally we come to the reason for the anxiety attack. Well, first I guess I should explain that RudeGirl has had a part in almost all the problems I've had with my boss. She knows just how to push my boss's buttons, and for some reason she is always ready to believe the worst about me (even though I've proved time and time again otherwise). RudeGirl gets her all riled up, and by the time she pulls me aside to gripe me out her mind is already made up. She never asks for my side and always already has it figured out what I'm going to do to make sure whatever it was doesn't happen again. I have tried in the past to explain the truth to her, but she doesn't want to hear it and will just interrupt and negate everything I say. So naturally I have given up and just don't even bother to argue. I do have to point out though, that she has made a noticeable effort to treat me differently in the past several months and it was going very well. But last week she fell back into her old routine (which I have since found out RudeGirl had a part in).
Okay, so NOW we get to the reason for the anxiety attack. RudeGirl is responsible for sending the pictures to me for a certain project. Through an entirely understandable mistake (and I say this after confirming it with some other coworkers) I mistakenly deleted 3 photos. So now I have to ask RudeGirl to put them on the server for me again. You can see where this is headed. It would take her all of 30 seconds to do this for me, but she will throw a fit and more likely than not go to my boss and complain that I'm always throwing things away or something like that. And being as my Boss just got through being all mad at me last week, I just don't see how this can end well. The only thing I can think of is to go to my boss first and tell her the situation. If she gets mad she gets mad, but at least I will be in control of what she hears first. Depending on her initial reaction, I'm going to tell her how much this situation has upset me and ask for her support in this situation. She has told me before I need to stand up to RudeGirl, so I'm going to try and go that route. Of course, its entirely possible that nothing much will actually happen! I doubt it, but it is possible. I'm hoping that if I am asking for my bosses support to stand up to this bully that just maybe it will be okay either way.
So that's my absurdly long story. If you've read this far, DON'T YOU HAVE A LIFE???? Sorry, just a little joke there. You know I love you guys. Especially if you read my lon-n-n-n-ng posts.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:784219
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070925/msgs/785374.html