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Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( **TRIGGER**

Posted by Fivefires on June 7, 2007, at 17:15:45

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires, posted by gardenergirl on June 6, 2007, at 7:45:59

Yep ... I know ... seems it must have something to do w/ blood pressure.

When I'd not rec'd my Valium in hospital in time, and it was left to go on for quite a while, the pressure in the top back of my head, I became paranoid, ya' know as u would think all are looking and talking about you. But, w/ my tiny bit of medical background, I talked myself through it ... though very very difficult. Kept telling myself 'No ... they are not talking about you. No ... they are not all looking at you', but it was h*ll! Then when given Valium and the pressure relieved, the thoughts disappeared. So, this is something serious. A person who had no knowledge of paranoia induced physically would think they were 'losing their freakin' mind'!

Tks so much all of you. I'm still feeling a little shaky and 'not quite right'.

To top it off, yesterday I guess I acted out of sorts w/ a person, a person that helps me carry stuff up and down these 19 stairs (my back injury) and he told me to *uck off and never call him again!

Today I feel like ENDING IT ALL! Because I'm so damn tired of 'making mistakes' out of the difficulties that my mental health present.

I was feeling a little jealous of someone else receiving more attn than I and said something I shouldn't have. I can rationalize it away, saying I'm nervous as have company coming, but still shouldn't have said what I did.

Get this ... it was my ex-abusive-husband.

Yes ... he is whom I have to depend on to get things up and down these stairs.

I've tried to persuade my son to be more helpful, but 'he thinks his Dad walks on water' despite what he did to me, and he doesn't 'believe in mental problems' really.

So, the world, my world anyway, has caved in.

I haven't bathed or brushed my teeth in days. I just curl up in bed.

I am taking more pain pills than I should.

I feel if I remain on this earth much longer, I'll turn everyone that I've ever loved, against me, inadvertently.

I think I need to be back on an AD.

I hope I've not upset anyone too much w/ this post.

hugstoall

5f


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poster:Fivefires thread:761414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070523/msgs/761691.html