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Re: Consequences - laima

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2007, at 9:37:51

In reply to Consequences - laima, posted by one woman cine on January 12, 2007, at 7:45:45

> What would you do if you were Denebs parents?

Give her a hug, reassure her that whatever happened at school, I'd be behind her one hundred percent, and that everything would be ok. Then I'd say I'm sorry that she's feeling so bad, but that my number one priority is to see that she comes to no harm so that she'll be here to work things out, and that I'm going to have to either bring her to the ER or stick to her like glue until we can reach her pdoc the next day, where a harm reduction plan needs to be worked on. I'd tell her that I loved her, with or without a degree, enough to not want to see anyone, including herself, hurt her.

Heaven forfend that my son ever feels that way, but if he does, I would hope that I would respond in such a way that he would feel I could be a resource to him when he needed me.

Any consequences would be worked out with the mental health provider, where hopefully my son would give a limited waiver of confidentiality so that we could discuss self harm and how best to help.

But parents react as they react, and we can't change that reaction, just how we respond to it. I hope Deneb is able to look past her mother's fear and distress and subsequent reaction, and trust her pdoc. And ask her pdoc what to do if she's in crisis after hours, and try to remember to call her pdoc during hors if she's really upset. Over time we can discover who we can and can't talk to about self harm.




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