Posted by corafree on October 13, 2006, at 15:37:51
His mania is sooo fun, especially for him! But it is contagious. 'I need a buzz', but in tryin' live a normal life, also need grounding, and can't find that anywhere w/ him, or me.
Love him? I think about him all the time. I worry about him. I can't stand thinking of him w/ someone else. Is this love? Love has so many un-meanings to me now. It wasn't what I thought it was at one time or another.
He has a mother-son attachment big time and she is ill. I think this is what is pushiing him to push me into a decision. He wants a commitment from me, now!
I know he's taking mood stabilizer Depakote, but not sure taking any anti-psychotic as he says he takes nothing during the day. He takes Restoril for sleep (4hrs or so). Wish Topamax was on 'the system' formulary.
He's a comedian, a poet, an artist, a well-dressed man, ... dam*it he's even handsome and seductive. If you met him, you'd feel like 'you were very important' as he talked to you.
How do I let him go? He's been a part of my life for sooo many yrs. And, there is no other one to take his place (You know, that replace one w/ a better, thing).
I know he's done bad things while using, but tonight wanted to go to an NA meeting w/ daughter. Good intentions.
I don't give up ... that's not me ... doesn't he need me. I feel he'd be 'in jail' or 'dead' if I'd not been in his life to direct him to psych system.
ultimatum?me?, cf
poster:corafree
thread:694526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061005/msgs/694526.html