Posted by Kath on June 15, 2006, at 20:23:14
In reply to not wanting children...can anyone relate?, posted by saturn on June 15, 2006, at 17:20:57
Confession time: well, er OK first..........
First of all, I love my children dearly & would NEVER wish them away.
OK Confession time: If I had it to do again I would not have had kids. I didn't give it much thought except that babies & little kids are cute & lovely etc. (blush at that - what a dumb reason to have a kid!!!!)
Anyway, one is 30 & very ill. One is 22, won't work, has a life revolving around drugs. I am plagued by worry about them.... I'm getting better at being ME & knowing that they're THEM & that their stuff, including their feelings are NOT MY stuff & I don't need to feel like I'd feel if I were in their situation.
BUT - it is a MAJOR stress for me. It is so awful seeing someone you love as much as a Mom loves a kid - seeing someone you love that much suffer. We never know what will happen to our kids. I may be awfully selfish, but I think I wouldn't have had kids.
Given that - I must reiterate that I love them to pieces....that's probably what makes it so hard.