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Re: espressivo » fairywings

Posted by llrrrpp on May 30, 2006, at 15:04:19

In reply to Re: espressivo » llrrrpp, posted by fairywings on May 30, 2006, at 14:38:25

Hi Fairywings,
I'm really lucky that it moved me. I was getting incredibly frustrated. First my arm was so broken with tendinitis that the slightest movement was painful for many months. Then, when my physical therapy kicked in, and I could engage my dominant hand without pain, I discovered that there was no joy in making music. There was no joy in anything (depression). And I had to think my way through a piece. crescendo here, vibrato there, blah blah blah. It's hard though. too much to pay attention to. It's much easier to let your heart lead, rather than your head. I think I was scared of letting my heart lead. I get really nervous, and self-critical. I know that the people sitting next to me can hear every note I play. I imagine that they are critical of me too, even though they may deny it. It felt like my heart was too error prone. And I learned to ignore it.

Anyways, if you want to keep your daughter playing the violin, I have a few words for you to think about. The thing that has always kept me making music was the people I meet. I enjoy an evening of chamber music with friends. I love sitting in orchestra with an inspirational conductor sharing stories with us and helping us discover what we we are capable of doing. I love sitting in orchestra and mocking and cursing the less inspirational conductors behind their backs, and afterwards too, preferably at the pub night after rehearsal. And, I love the 'high' I get after a performance. I haven't felt the high in many moons, but I think... one of these days, I might get my groove back! It's more than the love of the instrument, or a love of the sound. It's the challenge of putting things together, and the enjoyment of sharing that challenge with people you would have never met otherwise (sounds a lot like psycho-babble, actually!) As long as there are fun and interesting people who enjoy your daughter's playing, she will probably keep up with it. Encourage her to make music with friends, and to turn music into a social activity, then it will be even more rewarding.

yours,
-ll


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