Posted by TexasChic on May 29, 2006, at 8:41:21
In reply to My first personal post, posted by pseudoname on May 24, 2006, at 19:10:01
Why does he get to say whatever he wants and you don't? I hate when people put you in that position where if you were to take up for yourself, you would have to be what you would consider 'rude'. They know exactly what they're doing, its a little control game to make their miserable selves feel better.
Being the 'people pleaser' that I am I find myself in this position alot. I've been trying to learn to stand up to these people. In one book I've been reading about dealing with difficult people, it says to calmly and politely question their intent when they say something insulting, for instance, "So what exactly are you trying to say when you say only an idiot would feel that way?" or "So what are you trying to get across when you say I'm an idiot? ". By questioning their motive it puts their rudeness in the spotlight, which they think you're too polite to do. But you have to make sure it comes across polite and not sarcastic, which I think is the challange. I don't know if I explained that very well.
When I first read it I thought it was stupid, but now I see how it could work. I haven't had the opportunity to try it yet though.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:648029
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060527/msgs/650036.html