Posted by ClearSkies on May 26, 2006, at 10:28:22
I guess this is the right place to post this.
What can I do to stop trying to get the world to approve of me? I look for validation everywhere. From grocery store clerks (a smile, acknowledgement, small talk) to therapists ('nuff said about that) to my mom, whose silences are deafening, to step kids (please, confide in me, love me, compare me to their mom), to my husband (see how good I can cook, can clean, can keep myself organized), to Babble (do I really help anyone? does anyone notice me).... it's all around me. Even when I do get validation, like I do time and again here, it falls over some precipice inside me, and I have to keep looking, keep asking.
I see my approval seeking behaviour like a bottomless glass that can never ever be filled. And no matter how many loving and caring people I have surrounding me, I always feel alone and unseen.
It's warped, distorted, and persistent. How can I change this part of myself that I loathe so deeply? When can I say that I'm enough?
poster:ClearSkies
thread:648811
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060521/msgs/648811.html