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Re: Where do I go from nowhere?

Posted by verne on April 18, 2006, at 10:19:07

In reply to Re: Where do I go from nowhere?, posted by ron1953 on April 17, 2006, at 15:16:17

Another approach to depression is to change our thinking, break habits, and change our brain chemistry. Saw an author on CSPAN's Booknotes give a talk about neuroplasticity - how activities and patterns of behavior actually change the brain physically.

I finally ordered the book, "The Mind and the Brain" by Jeffrey Schwartz. Seems like I've read or heard from many different sources that activities like meditation cause positive changes in the brain.

I'm struggling with atypical depression and borderline behavior: oversleeping, overeating, and addictions to alcohol, pornography, spending and so forth. I can see how these "habits" have changed me. I'm in such a rut - and it's getting deeper.

I used to meditate, exercise, read scripture, do a little yoga, and think pornography was a Tammy's "Buns of Steel" aeorbics tape. Now I'm deep into European "fine photography" and frying my brain. I barely know what I'm looking at any more.

So I was thinking my first project ought to be changing my activities - starting with pornography - not out of prudishness or religion - but simply because I know deep down it's barking up the wrong tree. Just not healthy for me.

I think much of my depression is my lack of perspective. It's hard to "see" when you're up to your neck in a self-made rut. Another fantasy fest with "Zuzanna", another 200 images, and the rut is deeper the next day.

I guess the studies suggest patterns can be broken in 21-40 days. Of course the brain will change gradually every day but it might be easier to approach the problem like it's a 3 week vacation from whatever it is you're trying to stop doing. (did that sentence tire you out as much as it did me?)

But I don't think anything can be eliminated without replacing it with something. I'm hoping mediation, exercise, and reading will help immensely. Right now, I'm so visual. I'm so caught up in my senses, I can't stop this runaway train and get back to the moment.

Anyway, I've tried the old way and it didn't work. I think it's time for a change. All I need is a new brain.

Verne


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