Posted by milly on March 6, 2006, at 14:36:00
I took up an adult education class in sculpture last Sept once I was well enough to venture out.
It has been a real help and I am thinking of going on ?foundation degree leading possibly to art therapist course (early days)My teacher is very sweet and knows that I have had a hard time but doesn't know any details.
Today he asked to see my sketch book to review what I am working on at the moment and the next moment he said 'this is really good work may I look through the rest' Well I should have said no but the words wouldn't come out, the reason is that a lot of the stuff in there was done when I was really ill and to be honest i haven't looked back lately but to see that work (very violent, angry destructive stuff) in the hands of a relative stranger (or anyone actually) freaked me out. I would have felt less vulnerable if I'd been stark naked!
He didn't say anything but I could see he wasn't comfortable and part of me feels so ashamed as if I'd confronted him with SI scares or something.
I couldn't do anymore work today just sat and shook and stroked the piece I've been working on to give my T when termination arrives!! Tried to send myself to a safe place (ie T's office)
My teacher is going to think I'm really odd (odder than he thought already)
I don't know if I can go back
milly
poster:milly
thread:616671
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060303/msgs/616671.html