Posted by kid47 on December 13, 2005, at 11:22:07
In reply to i'm having a bad day, posted by alesta on December 13, 2005, at 9:44:40
>> can someone cheer *me* up? i don't care how! :-)<<
Okay.....stop me if you've already heard this one.
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.""And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Lucy raised and hand and said, "Our family are farmers
too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks and the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're
hatched.""That was a fine story, Lucy."
"Nicholas, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Barbara.
Aunt Barbara was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.""Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the Hell away from Aunt Barbara when she's been drinking!"
>> p.s. what do you do when you have totally humiliated yourself? and a guy you like witnessed it? oh *man*. heeeeeelp...palease. i am seriously distraught.<<I am intimately familiar with humiliation. In fact there was this one time when I was waiting in line at the bank......no......wait......that was an episode of Starsky and Hutch.......anyway.....I used to be a fairly significant drinker......I've humiliated myself in ways that could probably land me in the Guiness Book of (humiliation) Records......Feelings of humiliation and embarrasment are just some of the plethora of emotions that reinforce the fact we are only human....If that line of drivel doesn't make you feel any better, how bout one of my favorites...."F*ck 'em if they can't take a joke." Works for me. Have a lovely day!!!!!
Peace
kid
poster:kid47
thread:588617
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051203/msgs/588650.html